guYS IF WE’RE MUTUALS AND YOUR MUSE RANDOMLY WANTS TO TALK TO MINE, TAG. ME. IN. A. STARTER. I WILL REPLY BECAUSE I LOVE RANDOM STARTERS AND CUTE SHIT AND JUST MY MUSE BEING THROWN IN A SITUATION WHERE THEY’RE LIKE “WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?!?! WHO THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?!?! WHY THE FUCK ARE WE DOING THIS?!?!” BECAUSE ITS THE BEST THING EVER. So yknow yeah. Tag me in shit.

Dad Pun Sentence Starters

Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send  👍and my Muse will say one to you!

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.” “Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.” “A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’” “Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!” “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!” “Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.” “I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.” “How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.” “Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.” “'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!” “I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!” “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1” “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.” “What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.” “How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.” “Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.” “I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.” “Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.” “How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.” “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” “Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.” “Don’t call me later, call me Dad.” “What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant” “Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.” “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.” “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.” “What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.” “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.” “The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.” “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.” “5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.” “Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”“ “What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.” “What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.” “I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.” “To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.” “The rotation of earth really makes my day.” “I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.” “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.” “I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!” “Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.” “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.” “A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.” “I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.” “Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.” “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.” “People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”

plot where muse a is a single dad trying as hard as possible to make ends meet and after getting a new job he needs someone to watch his lil princess, so muse b offers to watch her and muse a is a lil bit surprised ‘cause he’d always kinda had a teensy weensy ( huge ) crush on her and every time he’s around her he stumbles over his words and does stupid things but she just finds it cute and i don’t know where i’m going with this but you get the point

OKAY THIS BUT F/F

Cooking Sentence Starters

As requested by Anonymous.

The Lego Batman Movie Sentence Starters

“DC. The house that Batman built.” “Get yourself ready for some…reading.” “Batman is very wise.” “Yeah, I’ve got an extra ab.” “We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17,000 pounds of C4, about 150 little cute little classic bomb-type bombs, and two best friends, and request permission to fly over the most crime-ridden city in the world!” “I’m a loser at home, and I’m a loser at work.” “You should be terrified.” “All the C-grade villains have broken into the energy plant!” “Dear gosh, you destroyed the ___! You have thought of everything!” “I just wrote a song about how I’m gonna kick all of your butts.” “Get it together, guys, you’re making me look bad in front of Batman!” “Save the city or catch your greatest enemy.” “You think you’re my greatest enemy?” “I like to fight around.” “I’m okay with you fighting other people.” “Remember, kids: If you wanna be like Batman, take care of your abs.” “Were you looking at the old family pictures again?” “I don’t talk about feelings.” “Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again.” “Tuxedo dress up party!” “How am I supposed to get ___’s respect when I’m working with these human farts?” “I’m just so jazzed to meet you!” “I hate everything you just said.” “You won’t get to fight any of this anymore.” “Riddle me this: …what just happened?” “There are no more vigilantes allowed.” “You need to take responsibility for your life.” “I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Hello secret camera!” “You’ve been watching too many Lifetime movies and drinking chardonnay.” “Chance of failure is 110%.” “Sometimes to right a wrong, you have to wrong right.” “How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met.” “Life doesn’t give you seatbelts!” “I’m trying to give you a big old hug.” “What’s the vigilante position on cookies?” “It’s weirder if it’s not your son…” “Somebody get this man some pants.” “You can’t be a hero if you only care about yourself.” “I got thrown in this heckhole on purpose!” “I’m gonna go start looting.” “Ask your nerd friends.” “Who’s the greatest villain of them all now?!” “I’m rubbing my butt all over your stuff.” “Rename this the buttmobile.” “Do you ever get scared?” “This is not a family trip.” “It’s 100% lava.” “Why did you build this thing only one seat?” “Last I checked I only had one butt.” “For a loner, you sure like movies about relationships.” “Good news, our bathroom problem is solved.” “We are just one big happy f…raternity of people.” “I don’t need friends.” “I swear I’m a good guy.” “I was trying to protect them…” “Are they really the ones you’re protecting?” “Don’t do what I would do!” “You’ve gotta let me go down there and save them!” “I don’t even know why you bothered coming back.” “…I was afraid.” “I was afraid of feeling the pain you feel when you lose someone close to you.” “Saving this city is too big a job for one person.” “Who’s laying down those funky beats?” “Okay, ___. Bring the pain.” “As I predicted, we’re doomed!” “You had me at shut up.” “How are your abs, bro?” “Sometimes losing people is part of life, but that doesn’t mean you stop letting them in.” “This is my family. But it’s your family too.” “Do you have a knife? Because someone needs to cut the tension between us.”