idk why people say "sleep is for the weak" like....ok maybe to YOU.... to ME sleep is for the cozy....like stfu maybe if you went honk mimimimimi honk mimimimimi you'd calm down

Mewtwo made the right choice

That time he chucked Mewtwo into a lake

The Saga of Clark (part 1)

The Saga of Clark (part 2)

The Saga of Clark (part 3)

The Saga of Clark (part 4)

The Saga of Clark (end)

Every day Connecticut Clark and Malfina show up on my dash I count myself blessed

hey @staff @support where are those images?? where are they? where the FUCK are they????? what did clark ever do to you??????

staff has gone way too far this time.

Will humanity ever be free of the influence of Edna Mode? Can any of us so much as consider the character design for a hero or villain without her manifesting in the room, fully aware of our sins?

You know what, another layer of difficulty is when you’re thinking about villains, and the wise words of Megamind come into your head. You don’t just want your child to be just a regular villain. But how do you make your villain a Supervillain with no cape? Where is the drama? But Edna says no capes, you must deny them the flair. It is impossible to please them both, and it’s tearing this family apart.

you. you get it.

(tags via @jeremiahsmysteriosotouch)

Counteroffer: Big dramatic cloak to protect your identity that you drop on the floor before every fight

#there are two wolves inside you #one is edna mode #the other is megamind  (@remnantofahero) 

I can’t believe the compromise is Obi-Wan Kenobi

“No capes!”

“Game on, then.”

Okay, but I love that Gandalf is just dropping his cloak to reveal another, slightly smaller cloak underneath it.

Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo

*looks around*

Is

Is anyone gonna say it

malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite

@lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.

…sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.” Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts?

oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?

It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.

I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.

So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.

Oh my god guys it’s poisonous

It is super poisonous

There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more

Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock

Try this one instead. 

malachite literally explodes in water does it not?

I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium?

Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker

This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock

I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on  being you.

I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock.

I’m looking into it.

UPDATE:

Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the question “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?”

The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.”

Oh man this got so much better than the last time I saw this post

This is my favourite. Science side of tumblr: asking the REAL questions

*biologist crashes through the underbrush* Ok so here’s the thing though Malachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days. Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, ‘CAUSE HERE THEY ARE. • Malachite is not copper oxide. It’s Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates it’s water soluble– that’s how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk of “malachite” isn’t just malachite– it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later.  • When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungi– so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organisms that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture).  So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++. • Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in water– but vaginal secretions aren’t just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. It’s also warmer than your average underground cave at 37°C (or 98.5°F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster.  • In other words, the human vagina dissolves malachite.  • I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is.  • Gonna to take a quick moment to point out that sex toys that dissolve when you use them are maybe not the best investment.  • Anyway the key question now is “how fast does the human vagina dissolve malachite?” Are we talking geological timescale, a Nazis-in-Indiana-Jones situation, or something in between? If the reaction kinetics of dissolution are very slow, then there’s nothing to worry about. An encounter with a stalactite would have to last years for enough Cu++ to leach out to cause problems. If it’s quick then we’re in trouble.  • Unfortunately it looks like nobody really knows. One of the best sources on how malachite dissolves & precipitates in water– an EPA document on how to avoid too much Cu++ in municipal drinking water systems– helpfully says “The kinetic constraints on the formation of these solids in water systems are largely unexplored” (p. 42) because end equilibrium points are all you need to run a city water system safely. In other words, the experiments that would tell us how fast malachite dissolves in various types of water just don’t exist because nobody’s ever needed to know before. So we’d better assume it’s going to happen reasonably quickly, #for safety. • So in best scientific fashion, we’re just going to bullshit our way ahead using what facts we DO have on hand: endpoint equlibria.  • Is there any info out there telling us what equilibrium concentration of Cu++ we get in salty acidic water at body temperature? Almost! One J.F. Scaife published some great data on this back in 1957. TAKE IT AWAY, SCAIFE. 

That orange box is how many moles of dissolved Cu++ Scaife got from sticking malachite in some water that had 0.171 moles NaCl/L (body salinity is about 0.154 moles NaCl/L so this is slightly more salty than people) at 30°C. He’s got no acidity in there, and again the salinity and temperature are slightly off from the vaginal standard. But this is probably the closest we’re going to get to data on how malachite behaves in vaginas anytime soon, folks. From this we can take away that if you leave malachite alone in a vagina you’ll get AT LEAST 9.12 x 10^-4 moles/L, or 5.8 ppm, of Cu++ at equilibrium.  • Recall from above that most “malachite” isn’t actually pure malachite, it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. The EPA document elaborates: “[T]raditional ‘eyeball’ identification of malachite by its blue-green color is extremely unreliable, because almost all cupric hydroxysulfates, hydroxycarbonates, hydroxychlorides, and even fresh cupric hydroxide can be some shade of blue-green. … Thus, the uncertainty in the computed copper concentration in equilibrium with malachite is at least about a factor of 2 … until further experimental data focusing on this problem is generated.” In other words, “do your math and then double how much Cu++ you think is going to be in the water, just in case.” So that gives us 11.6ppm Cu++, at equilibrium, with malachite in a (til now!) healthy vagina.  • Next step: do we have any idea what happens to bacteria in acid conditions with copper? OH MY GOD WE TOTALLY DO. Gyawali et al 2011 checked this out in the context of “so what if we rinsed tomatoes with a solution of lactic acid and copper, because that would be a safe & organic way to get rid of E. coli?” So now this post has officially ruined stalactites, vaginas, and tomatoes.

^This would happen. These are the counts of 4 E. coli strains exposed to various levels of lactic acid & Cu++ for 8 hours. This table only shows the end counts but it represents the death of 99.7% of bacteria*. • Losing 99.7% of your vaginal flora is seriously bad news. You’re looking at really good odds of a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and/or other infection issues. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to not be in the 4% of the population or so that’s sensitive to skin contact with copper.  • The good news? Biochemically speaking, you’re probably ok to put it in your butt. It’s not as acidic or salty in there, plus there’s a huuuuuge stockpile of gut microbes right upstream that can quickly repopulate the colon after spelunking is complete. However this stalactite is not flared at the base so it is the wrong shape for putting in your butt. Do not put this stalactite in your butt.  • This all looks like fun and games, but I think it’s really interesting that the internet’s mistake in concluding that this stalactite is fuckable is very similar to the mistake made by the Flint water management system. Hear me out.  • Central to the Flint lead poisoning crisis is that authorities only looked at & tested Flint’s water in its central treatment plant before it went out through the pipes. Not after it went through the pipes. They did not consider what would happen biochemically as it went through the pipes and metals started dissolving.  • Similarly, in concluding that the stalactite is fuckable, the internet only considered the stalactite itself. Not the biochemical processes that would happen to it as it, welp, went through the pipes.  • Media frequently reports that the Flint River’s water is “corrosive,” leading many to believe the river is full of industrial waste. This ain’t the case. You’d need industry to fill a river with industrial waste, and industry left decades ago. That’s why Flint’s so poor. So what IS in the water? Road salt. Plain old stupid road salt. The old Detroit-based source didn’t have salt because it came from Lake Huron which has a large, mostly rural watershed. Meanwhile the Flint River runs through a lot of towns, making it slightly salty as everything melts down in spring. And as we recall from the stalactite experience, a little salt is all it takes to get metals to dissolve.  • Information on this engineering problem was not coming through clearly from the engineering or chemistry sides. It took a biologist, pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha, to document the real-time results and provide the data to kick-start a high-level investigation.  • Morals of the story: when dealing with a biological system pls consider asking a biologist, your vagina and/or city could depend on this • Pls use a condom when fucking any water-soluble material • Still don’t put the stalactite in your butt -3/10 do not recommend

so obsessed with when people draw crabs like this its like a microorganism 

Link - Shonen Captain Magazine 1986

I haven’t modeled a Link all year, lets change that~

-Mark

I was googling herbivore men again and um uh

Hey, you beautiful people asking what the fuck is wrong with Gackt, check out these excerpts from his bizarre twitter presence that explain nothing but make everything worse:

Hey what the

this is making me insane

Another fish

Cuban Painted Snails (Polymita Picta)

“Their colours come from their diet, lichen and mosses rich in minerals that give the shells these stunning colours. They differ according to the particular mix of plants that each snail has been eating.” - David Attenborough

Attenborough‘s Life In Colour

@onenicebugperday

A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven.

Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, “ I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. If you do not deserve to enter heaven then you will be cast to the fire filled depths of hell where you will spend all eternity in agony.”

The three sinners knowing the lives they’ve lived look at each other nervously awaiting judgement. They know their pasts are not worthy of the heavens, but they don’t feel they deserve hell either.

Jesus takes a look at a holy book sitting atop a gleaming marble pedestal. “In this book I see the names of all humans, all I have to do is look up your name and I shall see the life you’ve lived!”

Flipping through the pages Jesus mumbles to himself as the three sinners wait to hear their fates.

“It seems” Jesus finally speaks, “That none of you deserve to be here. In fact, you have all wasted your days on earth doing nothing but chasing after the lusts and fruits the devil hath provided for you to feast. I’m sorry but you do not belon-”

“WAIT!!!” Screams the sex addict. “Give us one more chance to prove we’re worthy!”

“Yeah! We won’t let you down again!” Finishes the alcoholic.

Jesus thinks for awhile, pondering what to do. Then at last, he comes up with an idea.

Summoning three rooms behind three doors he leads the sinners to them. “Behind these doors are the tools you have used to sin against God. You will spend one hundred years in these rooms. Once I return, if you have not sinned, you will be welcome into heaven. Do you agree to my terms?!?”

All three nod and agree enthusiastically, happy to gain a second chance.

So, Jesus leads them each to their room to spend the next century.

Upon arriving at the first door, it opens. This room is for the sex addict. It is full of beautiful woman and beds to lay on. Jesus bids him farewell and shuts him in the room.

At the second door upon opening, they see a giant room full of alcohol. Any kind that you could think of as far as the eye could see! Once again, Jesus bids the alcoholic farewell and shuts him in the room.

Finally they reach the third room and open the door. This last door opens up to a field of marijuana. There’s plants everywhere and bowls and bongs to pack them in as well.

“Good luck.” Jesus says, shutting the pot head into the room.

A hundred years pass and Jesus goes to check on the three sinners. Hoping for the best, but not very confident in them as a hundred years is a long time!

Arriving at the first door he opens it to find the sex addict, lying in a bed surrounded by women. You can see that he has failed, many of them are pregnant.

Just like that, he closes the door, pulls a lever and casts the sinner to hell!

Coming to the second door. He opens it and is blasted by a thick smell of liquor. There’s broken bottles everywhere and the alcoholic, clearly as drunk as can be, is lying in a pool of the foul smelling liquid.

Shaking his head, Jesus closes the door and over again, pulls another lever casting the alcoholic to the deepest depths of hell!

Upon arriving to the third door, Jesus is in poor spirits expecting the same to be seen from the pot head. He opens the door and all is still. Looking around, the pot head is nowhere to be seen.

All around him there are bongs and bowls packed full of weed. Mountains of joints and blunts rolled to perfection. But not a single puff has been taken.

Finally Jesus stumbled upon the man, soaked in his own tears, he looks up at Jesus who is clearly surprised and says, “Jesus please! I’m sorry, take me to hell if you must but please, will you PLEASE give me a lighter?!?”

I lost it at this:

It’s always important to ask kids “what do you mean?” before potentially getting offended. Like the time a kid told me, dramatically, that he was homophobic. When asked what he meant, he told me he couldn’t breathe in crowded places.

Our solar system moving through space..

yo i’m sorry did this just say our whole solar system is MOVING?????????? THROUGH SPACE????????

the sun is stationary right???? someone please for the love of god tell me the sun is stationary??????? it’s tuesday afternoon i don’t have the mental capacity to learn that our entire fucking solar system is MOVING right now ????!?

I mean I hate to be the one to break this to you, but everything in space, including the sun, is moving through space. Very quickly, actually. The earth orbits the sun at 64,000 miles per hour, sun orbits the center of the Milky Way galaxy at 500,000 miles per hour, and the Milky Way galaxy itself is moving through space at roughly 1.3 million miles per hour.

oh

i

okay

thank u for

for the information

i uh

i’m just gonna. take a minute

i think that

i think that tomorrow i’m uh

gonna have to ask

where the milky way. is going???

but uh

yea i don’t think i can handle getting an answer to that particular query quite yet

Well since it’s now tomorrow I might as well answer your question about where the Milky Way is going. Really, there’s two different answers, a short and a long answer. The first, and shorter explanation, is that the Milky Way is heading towards our nearest galactic neighbor, the andromeda galaxy, and the two galaxies will collide within the next couple billion years. The second and much longer answer is that the Milky Way is apart of what’s called a “cluster” of galaxies. Basically, all the galaxies that are near ours. And this cluster is part of an even bigger cluster, called a “supercluster”. Superclusters are some of the largest structures in the universe, they stretch for hundreds of millions of light years and encompass hundreds of thousands of different galaxies. Our galaxy is slowly orbiting the general center of what’s called the Virgo supercluster, guided along by the gravitational pull of the galaxies around us and the structure of the universe itself.

COOOL!!!!!

For those of you that are wondering, please have one of the fiest pieces of radio comedy ever:

the first time i watched this i laughed so hard i nearly puked

THIRD BASE

Since I was 8 and found out about this for the first time my family has always followed up on someone saying “I don’t know,” with shouting “THIRD BASE”

fucking CLASSIC