update
I just wanted to quickly explain why I haven’t been on at all for quite some time now. My mum’s been sick for a long time which is something I never liked talking about and most people outside my family never knew anything about. We didn’t even talk about it much in my family because it didn’t affect a lot of things in our lives. But a while back it got a lot worse very fast and while I don’t want to go into details about it because it’s quite private, it hit us all very hard. I’m extremely close to my mum and at the time the thought of losing her pretty much ruined me. My anxiety got 100x worse and I went back to being extremely depressed. It got to the point where I stopped working for a while and spent most of my time either at the hospital with my mum or with a therapist. And I really did try getting back to doing normal things without pushing myself too far like being on twitter a little bit or spending time with friends, but that’s still pretty hard to do even though I try every day. I’m working again which is good for me but my mum’s still not doing well and I’m just in a really bad place right now, especially with my mental health. I’ve been dealing with more panic attacks again, winter depression as usual, awful social anxiety that I didn’t notice a lot before all of this. I’m on some pretty strong meds that are helping but it’s very hard considering I was doing better before it happened. So yeah, it’s just been a rough couple of months and I know that’s no excuse for being a shitty friend (believe me, I have been) but it’s an explanation to why I just haven’t been able to do the things I used to do at least. And if this is a mess and doesn’t make sense, I’m sorry, I’m just all over the place and it’s late and I wanted to get this down quickly before I start panicking about it. Love you all ❤
