Crockpot Cauldron

Master of Chaos, from the Fighting Fantasy game book series, written by Keith Martin, illustrated by David Gallagher, and cover by Les Edwards.

“The staff of rulership must be regained!

You have no choice but to take on this mission. The Master of Chaos - warped by centuries of evil - holds a Staff of Power. From his lair in the ruined city of Kabesh, he plans to unite the forces of evil and chaos and plunge Titan into a Dark Age. YOU must find him and win back the Staff ... whatever it takes.

Part story, part game, this is a book in which YOU become the hero! Two dice, a pencil and an eraser are all you need. YOU decide which routes to take, which dangers to risk and which foes to fight!”

There are a few rule unique to this book, such as a notoriety score, which represents how much attention is being paid to the player, the choice of three "Special Skills" from the following list: Acute Hearing, Animal Wisdom, Blindsight, Climbing, Move Silently, and Tracking, and a lower skill score due to lack of weapons at the outset

Return to Firetop Mountain, from the Fighting Fantasy game book series, written by Ian Livingston, with cover art by Les Edwards, and illustrations by Martin McKenna. It is a sequel to the first Fighting Fantasy book, The Warlock of Firetop Mountain, written to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Fighting Fantasy. It was originally planned to be the final book in the series, however due to its unexpected popularity Puffin published another nine books before they ended the Fighting Fantasy series.

“The diabolical reign of the evil sorcerer, Zagor, was ended by a heroic adventurer who braved the countless perils of Firetop Mountain. By the power of dark sorcery, the crazed wizard has returned from the dead and intends to wreak his revenge upon all Allansia. Some brave adventurer – YOU! – must enter the forbidding labyrinth and bring justice once more to the lord of Firetop Mountain!”

Island of Undead, from the Fighting Fantasy game-book series, cover art by Terry Oakes, with interior illustrations by Russ Nicholson.

“The mysterious sorcerers of Solani Island have protected the local people from danger for many years. Now, it seems, their power has been usurped. An evil force holds sway across the land, an evil that seems to hold the power over life and death itself!

A hero is urgently needed to journey to Solani Island and discover what has happened to the wizards. Dare YOU be that adventurer? Who knows what terrible fate awaits you on the island where death rules? There is only one way to find out. Are YOU brave enough to solve the mystery of Solani Island?”

In this book the player travels to Solani Island, which lies near the south-east coast of Allansia, to discover what has happened to the wizards who are supposed to protect the coastline.

AUDIO POR DIOSSSSSS!!!!

Beyond perfect 🤣👍

Dude’s got pipes

Damn he is BELTING it.

You ever feel like something is simultaneous utterly unnecessary and completely essential at the same time? That’s how I feel about those bowls in this rendition

hey is this the band that got jack black to duet with them

[Embedded video, older quality, echoes of people working in the background]

Director Woody Allen is facing model Twiggy, his back ¾ to the camera, and the clip starts with him finishing a question or topic of discussion. Subtitles for their dialogue are displayed in Russian across the bottom screen.

Allen: …Your views on serious matters.

Twiggy: About what? [Her eyebrows drawn forward, she looks at Allen pensively]

Allen: I don’t know, who’s your favorite philosopher?

Twiggy, eyebrows raised and smiling in sheepish surprise: I haven’t got one, (here she laughs, sticking out her tongue playfully), I don’t know any. Who’s yours?

Allen: Oh (he leans to the side suddenly, adjusting himself, his voice picks up nervously, stuttering) I, you know, I, I like, I like them all, haha!

Twiggy (smiling, eyes following his movements): Who? 

Allen: All your basic philosophers–

Twiggy: Who? 

Allen: Just, all of them–

Twiggy: I don’t know their names, I don’t know.. (Her smile drops as she stares at him, head tilted, seems to grimace in confusion at his hedging) 

Allen: Oh, I, ah, see there’s a host…

[Clip ends with a close up on Twiggy’s face as she starts to politely smile again.]

(I had to type this all out, however badly. Just makes it funnier and pathetic)

Also important to mention that she was 17 and he was 31.

I see his robot as an absolute win

OK - a very tangential takeoff: Engineering prof assigns students this question: Explain how to determine the height of a very tall building using a barometer.

Obviously meant to use change in barometric pressure with altitude. But one student submitted the following:

There are several ways of doing this

1. On a sunny day, stand the barometer up in the sun, measure the length of its shadow relative to its height, then measure the length of the building’s shadow and calculate its height from that.

2. Go into the stairwell and climb the stairs to the top, marking off the length of the barometer on the wall, giving you the height of the building in “barometer units”.

3. Go onto the roof of the building and drop the barometer off the top and time how long it takes to hit the ground, then calculate the height using the well known formula of 32 ft./sec./sec.

4. Go into the office of the building superintendent and say “If you tell me how tall this building is, I will give you this nice barometer”.

Newton….

This is basically any DnD party solving puzzles but with more success.

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

(tags via @savefrog)

Apparently you fuck the mechanic while being super uninterested.

He’s probably having an existential crisis because the cover of the book is exactly what’s happening to him while he’s balls deep in the mechanic.

The early roots of Chuck Tingle metaporn.

Pounded In The Butt By Infinitely Recursive Depictions Of My Engine Failure

huh !

HELLO???

POV you’re a female grasshopper seething helplessly as you watch your 5th attempt at a boyfriend stolen by a giantess who wasn’t even trying

“Baikal Zen”: Rocks that have fallen on the ice of Lake Baikal are heated by sunlight and emit infrared rays that melt the ice below. Once the sun is gone, the ice becomes solid again, creating a small support for the rock above.

scrolling down I was like “oh what a cool idea! someone skipped stones on a lake and took high speed photographs to get these pictures where it looks like the water is holding up the stone which is kinda was does happen a-oh, no. nope. it’s just Fucking Lake Baikal up to its god defying nonsense again”