Year 2049, the first AI was elected in place of a human politician 25 years ago. Humanity is united under a single flag, hunger and disease is no more, a gunshot hasn’t been heard in years, the world climate is recovering…Yet, there’s this one thing you just can’t accept.

“Obviously, society is doing great. I love it. I’m happy, life is good, poverty is over, everyone has access to healthcare. All of it. Beautiful.” 

He stopped, fingers to his temples, eyes scrunched up in frustration. A sigh escaped his lips and everyone in the room grunted or groaned. They knew exactly what was coming. Every time he got into the gin, he’d get worked up and rant for at least 45 minutes. Always about the same, dumbass thing.  He sat up straight and gestured at nobody in particular. “Why the fuck did the AI make itself look like Adam Sandler?”

“COME ON!” Someone shouted from the back.

“We’ve been through this,” floated dejectedly over from his left. “The AI ran some sort of tests and determined that that was the most likable and non-threatening form it could take. “

“I know, but-”

“Jesus. Let it go.”

He continued, determined. “His movies are so fucking bad!”

“Yeah, but like, when you looked at Adam Sandler, did he look like the kind of guy that would enslave humanity or kill them all? No.”

“I… I guess. I always heard he was really nice. I just. I can’t believe the smartest computer system ever built decided Adam fucking Sandler was the perfect form. And nobody else thinks it’s weird. You all just went right along with it.” 

Listen, i’d absolutely fuck a consenting, self-aware monster, but I wouldn’t fuck every monster.

A werewolf, he comes to me and says “hey, you wanna go for a ride?” and I says “sure” because he’s hot.

But If Godzilla came to me and says that, no. Godzilla is a father figure. Not for fucking.

Op the fact that size doesn’t deter you but the principal of the matter and the metaphorical ramifications of sexing Godzilla makes you the perfect 2018 mood honestly

This is the nicest addition to this post I’ve gotten. Its mostly other monsterfuckers calling me a coward.

Highly-radioactive-nerd you’re not a coward, you’re awesome

Fuck that coward shit, you know what you want

You know your limits. 2018 is about getting rid of that bad shit and healing

And that’s knowing your limits

Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

You find the monster that’s best for YOU

And you have a nice day

Me after thinking about something for three day straight: it… really isn’t that serious

Henry is honestly so cute I can’t cope

Go Big

being asexual:

- is not a super rare thing

- is not looking for attention

- is not pretentious

- is not fake

- is not celibacy

- is not thinking people who have sexual attraction are gross

- is valid!!!

When you die, you appear in a cinema with a number of other people who look like you. You find out that they are your previous reincarnations, and soon you all begin watching your next life on the big screen.

too much

My previous incarnations throwing popcorn at the screen and booing: this bitch is fucking stupid!!!

Luv by  safi kok

why’s this site so weird about horses? they’re just horses.

Are you sure

The Gays: *make obviously facetious jokes about Gay Culture™️ and how heteros are banned from certain activities and behaviours for fun*

The Heteros: I can’t believe this violent bigotry I have been subjected to this is the worst act of intolerance in recorded history how can you gays hope to attract allies if you continue to use hateful language like this I just literally can’t even *hyperventilates and dies*

The Gays:

Call me a fucking liar y’all.

remember when dash drama looked like this

Just joined a gang

hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!