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charming rogue

@strawberryfitzsherbert / strawberryfitzsherbert.tumblr.com

A rogue, a thief, a joker. . .
-- independent eugene fitzherbert -- CANON DIVERGENT -- written by charlie -- please read the rules!
❝ YOU BRING LAUGHTER AND WARMTH . . . ❞
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CANON DIVERGENCES

As much as I enjoyed S1 and most of S2 of the series, S3 literally single-handedly destroyed my Eugene muse for almost two years. I’ve decided to just... pick and choose some parts of the series, but not follow the plot. I might end up making the show’s plot some kind of side verse, but my main verse will be a post-movie verse of my own creation, utilising some aspects from the series that I enjoyed.

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THINGS I’M KEEPING IN MAIN VERSE: 

  • Eugene’s purple jacket outfit. You know the one. Daaaaamn
  • Eugene and Max growing closer and closer to the point where they’re a damn formidable duo
  • Eugene teaching ‘thinking like a thief’
  • LANCE!! BABY!!! 
  • HAMUEL!! BABY!!! 
  • Edmund probably but I’m gonna tweak him - he won’t be a king and he may not even be Eugene’s dad. I’ve yet to decide! 
  • Frederic and Arianna’s names bc it’s easier that way and i’m used to them
  • Cassandra’s existence, but only as a handmaiden and Rapunzel’s friend and Eugene’s frenemy. None of the S2-3 Cass plot
  • Angry and Catalina bc they’re super cool
  • The Staylan and Baron backstory
  • Eugene getting to be more goofy and lazy and just enjoying all the decadence of castle life (pedicures, massages, skin care...)
  • Fun side characters like Mrs Crowley, Stan and Pete etc
  • Maybe Varian? idk if I’ll include his whole plotline, but I won’t discount the entire character
  • Eugene and Rapunzel (+ Lance?) travelling outside of Corona on some kind of quest/adventure, preferably in relation to Eugene rather than Rapunzel this time

NOTABLE THINGS I’M DITCHING:

  • Dark Prince Eugene (might make a separate verse for this concept and handle it differently than the show did, tho...)
  • The black rocks
  • S2-3 in their entirety (though I definitely wanna include something like the plot of Beyond the Corona Walls, just... tweaked)
  • Rapunzel ignoring/scoffing at Eugene when he’s trying to talk to her about something important to him
  • Cassandra’s arc
  • The overarching plot of the show

I’ll add to this as more stuff occurs to me! I’ll also do a nice succinct verses page soon~

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Ding ding ding!” she announced, tapping the tip of her nose and pointing at Eugene. This was fun! She was actually at a House party, playing games with them, and they were accepting her!
Rapunzel liked animals, but she honestly didn’t know a lot about them. The books she’d been allowed at home weren’t very in depth, and mostly just covered a wide variety of animals. A wave of guilt washed over her. Should she have stopped him feeding Squiddy the pasties?

“Ha! Who’s got it?! Captain Eugene, 20-questions extraordinaire! What can’t I do? Hold you app--”

He was cut off by his own yelp as Gii shoved him off of the arm of her chair, and he fell to the ground. Gii peered over the arm with a little smirk as the rest of the team roared with laughter. “What can’t you do, Cap? Balance?” she suggested sweetly. Eugene glared up at her, sticking his tongue out - she returned the gesture as he got to his feet, dusting himself off.

Jealousy is very unbecoming, Giovanna, tsk tsk.”

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“It’s big!” she confirmed enthusiastically. “And does eat meat!”
But then Eugene’s smile grew and she suspected he’d guessed at last. That question was confirmed when he asked his question. “It does! It likes pumpkin pasties!” Her own grin only brightened How could it not? Just when she’d been starting to fret that she’d made it too hard, he’d gone and figured it out! So clever! So much smarter than he pretended to be, or at least gave himself credit for.

Ha! Of course he had it. Gii look up at him quizzically, and he just grinned right back, tapping the side of his nose which made her roll her eyes. He returned his attention to Rapunzel. 

“I’ve got it, everyone. Just call me Eugene Marine Biologist Extraordinaire Fitzherbert, because it’s the giant squid,” he announced with grandeur and a bold hand gesture just to top it off. Yes, he was confident about this one. What other animal ate pumpkin pasties? 

“You’re feeding the squid pasties?” Gii asked, jabbing his knee. “You’re a biological nightmare.”

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“Not a shark,” she smirked. “And I think sharks technically are fish, so there’s that.”
Rapunzel felt strangely… smart! And clever! But she was also nervous that they wouldn’t guess and dislike her for making her guess too hard. Her eyes met Eugene’s just as she began to fret and his smile helped to relax her.

“Not a shark. Not a fish. Lives in the water. Not a reptile or a bug...” He leaned back against Gii’s armchair, humming in thought for a few moments while the rest of the team continued to guess, yelling over each other. They always were so energetic and chaotic, and it was amusing and annoying and brilliant.

“Is it big?”

“Does it eat meat?”

And then a thought struck Eugene. Oooh... yeah, maybe... A slow smile crept across his face and he looked over at Rapunzel, raising an eyebrow. “Does he like to eat pumpkin pasties...?”

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She wondered briefly if Ruth was the woman in the photo behind the counter, the one singing on stage, but his question drew her attention sharply and she felt the blood drain from her face.
“Uh, no, that… that’s okay, I–” She didn’t know what to say. Admit she didn’t have a wall to hang them on? Admit her mother wouldn’t have let her, even if she did, because it meant she’d left home without permission? Tell him about the actual paintings all over the walls of the place she used to call home? As she considered the options, it dawned on her that she was talking too long to answer.
“I can’t use them,” she finally said softly, lowering her eyes once more. “But I needed to get the art out. Otherwise they’d clutter up my head.”

She was quiet for far too long, and though she sort of avoided directly answering his question, her mess response had told him everything he needed to know. Piecing it all together, it was pretty damn obvious - she was homeless. The exhaustion, the fear and uncertainty, the choppy hair and dirty hoodie... but it wasn’t his problem, right? He’d been where she was and dragged himself out of it. Those days were behind him. He was Flynn fucking Rider, genius thief and dashing adventurer. 

He didn’t say anything about her situation. Not his business. Not his problem. He’d already given her a free muffin like a damn hero. 

Still, he rifled through the napkins a little more, glancing from the art to her and back again. “Well then, I’ll set them aside when l'artista is finished,” - he gestured briefly to Rapunzel with a winning smile - “and slip them under Ruth’s nose the next time she’s in.” He adjusted the cloth he’d slung over his shoulder and left her napkins with her for now. No need to rush her out the door. Yeah, she’d been here for hours already and had only had one coffee and her muffin, but who cared? She wasn’t doing any harm and it wasn’t like they were busy. She wasn’t holding up a table. 

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Hazelnut? Huh, that was a new one. Definitely not something her mother would have come up with. It was… kinda cute, actually! Her blush ebbed.
“Yeah…” she couldn’t help but agree a little sheepishly. “Yeah. I’m not surprised I kinda… stick out like a sore thumb.” No one else she’d seen looked at the world with the wonder of a child, after all.
As he moved to clean up her drawings, she reached out to stop him, but hesitated. And then he hesitated. And then he actually looked at her art, and… complimented it? That was a new one, too!
“Yeah, I like to draw. And paint. Lots of things, really.” She peered at the napkins she’d worked on, generally pleased with the work she’d done. “Who’s Ruth?” she wondered. “You can have them if you want. What am I going to do with a bunch of drawn on napkins, right?”

“Sore thumb or rose among thorns?” he asked, raising his eyebrows with that signature charming Flynn Rider smile. She was right, though - she stuck out for not-so-great reasons. Yes, she was cute with amazing eyes and a great smile, but she was also kinda... grungy. Dirty hoodie, choppy haircut, a tiredness beneath her eyes... yeah, she stuck out. 

His attention refocused on the napkins. Wasn’t the first time he’d seen doodles - Ruth had actually hung a couple of her favourites on the wall beside the big chalk board menu. 

“Who’s Ruth? The owner of this fine establishment. The woman who signs my pay checks,” he answered grandly. Those all important pay checks... he thought of The Baron for a moment, ignoring the chill that danced up his spine. Ugh. “You don’t wanna hang ‘em up on your wall?” Pretty sneaky way to figure out once and for all if she was actually homeless, if you asked him. 

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Each nibble and sip was savored, and she was well aware that it could be her last. Maybe in a long time, maybe ever. She hadn’t really planned very well before she’d packed her things and gone. She just knew that alone, out in the world and free was better than the life she had waiting within those walls. It had taken her years to get up the courage to do it, and once she had, she hadn’t looked back.
Okay, maybe she’d looked back once. Or twice.
But now, every day made it easier. She’d cut her hair so she’d be less immediately recognizable if her mother came looking for her, and she lived in the park because where else was she going to go? Deciding what came with her and what stayed had been hard, but in the end she figured she could find clothes somewhere - she wasn’t sure where, but stealing wasn’t really on the table for her - but she’d never be able to recoup her art supplies if she left them behind.
Speaking of which!
Once her food and drink had been finished off, she pulled out her charcoal pencils and grabbed a stack of napkins and started doodling on them. For a moment, she considered cleaning the table off herself. It was only polite, after all, But maybe if she left the trash here while she drew, she’d continue to look like she belonged in this warm, charming place while she worked. On the napkins, she doodled her thoughts and the things she’d seen up until now. She doodled the way the light slanted through the trees when she was tucked away in her camping spot, and she drew the interior of the coffee shop. She even included a little doodle of Flynn behind the counter, but it wasn’t very detailed.
He was handsome, she’d give him that. She liked his smile, but there was something a little… off about it. Too big, like he was trying too hard. She wondered if that was his real smile, or if it was just the one he used at work.
Before she knew it, hours had gone by, and her stack of napkins had turned into a stack of artwork. And then, there he was again, cleaning up the mess she should have cleaned up herself. A pang of guilt hit her, and she swallowed. “Thank you,” she mumbled, cheeks flushed. She felt like she’d been caught being bad. “It was really good! And… I liked the pretty pattern on the top.” She didn’t know if he’d done it on purpose, but she wanted him to know she liked it, regardless. “And it went well with the muffin I picked out. Thanks again for that, by the way! How do you know who’s a new customer? What if someone comes in for the first time on a day you’re not here?”

She was... blushing because he was cleaning her table? How long had this girl been alone, anyway?! It seemed like the more little details he picked up, the stranger she became, and he couldn’t help a little curiosity about how exactly she’d come to be on the streets in the first place. She definitely didn’t have that lifelong vibe.

“Ahhh, the pattern? Yeah. It gives it a sense of je ne sais quoi, wouldn’t you say?” That was one thing he was actually better at than he thought he’d be. It was kinda fun to try out new patterns.

But then she asked how the baristas knew customers were new and he paused for a moment. Oh, she had him there. Still, Flynn was nothing if not a quick thinker, and his brilliant grin never slipped. “Well, no offence, Hazelnut, but the look on your face... I figured you were probably new in here. Sometimes we can tell - barista instincts. And if we can’t tell, we ask.” There. Decent enough cover, right? Good save, Rider!

He reached for the stack of napkins to pile them onto the tray too, but paused at the sight of some doodles. Huh. Interesting! Was that the cafe itself? It was a good likeness. 

“Hey - you made some improvements to the napkins? Artiste indeed! Ruth would have a blast with these.” Ahhh Ruth. She was a tricky one. Incredibly tough, someone Flynn actually worried could beat him in a fight just with how utterly ruthless she was, but there was a secret softness to her, too. Depth. It was just... hard to tap into.

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She waited, finally taking a moment to actually look around the little coffee shop. It was homey in a way that didn’t seem too forced. As if the person who decorated in here meant it. She appreciated that. There was a photo behind the counter of a large, dark-skinned woman singing on a stage in front of a piano. Rapunzel wondered if that woman was famous, or perhaps was the owner. (Or both! Both was possible! The ideas weren’t mutually exclusive!)
When the sounds of the coffee machine died away (loud!!), she turned her attention back to Flynn and offered him another brilliant smile. “I will!” she assured him, and carried the try to a corner by the windows. From here, she had an okay view of where she camped, and would most likely be able to see if she’d have to mind a different place to sleep tonight.
The scent of hazelnut coffee hit her nose and she looked down at the food at last, then tilted her head. There was a pretty pattern in the latte foam, and she couldn’t help but wonder if that was on purpose or if the machine just did that when it was making so much noise. Remembering suddenly that Flynn was an artiste, she went ahead and took a sip, getting a foam mustache in the process.
Oh, it was good! She could taste the nuttiness and the coffee accents, and the warm milk helped it all blend together deliciously! She glanced up and spotted Flynn behind the counter, then beamed and gave him a thumbs up to assure him that she liked it.
Normally, Rapunzel was exactly the sort to just dig into her food, and were this a normal circumstance, she’d have polished it off in a few minutes. But since this wasn’t normal, she was careful to savor it, nibbling on the muffin and letting the mingling cranberry and orange flavors dance on her tongue. It paired well with her coffee of choice, and she finally settled back in the chair, intent on hanging out in here as long as Flynn would let her.

Alright, so he knew for sure now that she wasn’t affected by his perfect smile and his super sexy winks. No issue, though - wooing homeless girls over coffee wasn’t really the Flynn Rider way, anyhoo. 

He watched her walk away, making sure she got to a table okay and settled in. Didn’t want some random customer walking around like a little lost sheep making him look bad, right? Once she’d picked her table and sat down, he went straight back to work, cleaning the spouts of the coffee machine and wiping down the counter. Her movement caught his eye, and he lifted an eyebrow at her bright grin and her thumbs up, returning it with one of his own and his most suave nod. And then, once again, he was at a loss for things to do. 

The day passed like any other. He drifted around wiping a few tables and organising a few bits of stock until the lunch rush hit. The lunch rush mostly consisted of local business people and students, most of them coming in for takeaway items, but it always left most, if not all of the table occupied. 

As always, the lunch rush was done in a blur, and all of a sudden, Flynn only had three hours left until whoever it was came to cover the shorter evening shift. And Rap-- Rap-what? Rapunzel? Seriously? - was still here. Damn. Couldn’t blame her, really - he was getting more sure by the minute that she was indeed homeless, and he couldn’t blame her for wanting to stay somewhere warm and indoors that smelled so good rather than outside exposed to whatever the weather felt like doing at any given moment.

Finally, though, he made his way over to her, cloth slung over his shoulder. “So how’d you like my recommendation?” he asked with a smile, piling her empty plate and cup onto the tray he’d given her.

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3 crowns 50. That wasn’t … too bad. A mere tenth of what she had left. A whole tenth of it. She was just wrestling with the idea of telling him she’d changed her mind when he told her about the special, and her face absolutely lit up, smiling with gratitude and hope and a certain sense of can you believe my luck? She got out the bills and coins and laid them on the counter, smile never faltering, then moved over to look at the display case.
Everything looked to scrumptious, and her mouth started watering almost at once. Her stomach soon joined in with a gurgle she hoped hadn’t been loud enough to hear. Ugh, she needed to get a job and money so she could take care of herself again. But she needed an address before she could do that…
Before she let her mind wander down that path of stress and worry, she turned her focus back to the display. “Ummmmmm… she hemmed as she tried to decide. “Cranberry orange muffin?” It was a question, checking to make sure that was part of the deal, even though he’d said it was anything she’d like. “And I’ll be staying in here.”
She hoped that wasn’t a problem. She knew she looked a mess all the time now, from her hasty haircut to her dirty clothes to her overstuffed satchel. She might not be particularly wise in the world, but she at least understood the basics of what it meant when someone looked shoddy. Her mother had seen to that.
“Please,” she added, on top of everything else. If she was going to be taking up time and space and recourses, the least she could do was be as polite as possible.
She spotted the little tip box on the counter, and though she couldn’t technically afford it, he was being so kind to her. Reaching into her pocket again, she grabbed several coins and poured them into the box, not bothering to see how much she’d just given away.

Oh! Okay, he’d never seen someone get quite that excited about a free snack before. It was like the sun had shone on her face for the first time or something ridiculously poetic like that. Weird. 

“Cranberry orange muffin,” he confirmed. “Good choice, that’s a great muffin.” He grabbed the tongs and plucked out the muffin, setting it on a plate before he turned away to start making her drink. “Staying here. You got it, sweetheart. One caramel-nut latte to drink in2 à la Flynn, coming up,” he called over his shoulder, raising his voice slightly to be heard over the coffee machine. Ha. He liked the way that rhymed. No, it wasn’t the first time he’d used it, and it wouldn’t be the last.

It didn’t bother him too much that his flirting had gone pretty much over her head. It was mostly instinct at this point, anyway, rather than anything truly intentional. He tended to prefer flirting with more put-together, wealthy people rather than small homeless girls who got super excited by muffins. It was sad, really. He deliberately didn’t think about a time when he’d only had a handful of coins to his name, too. Those days were long behind him. Flynn Rider was a master thief, thank you very much, charming and handsome and happy. 

Yes, maybe he was a part-time barista now, too, but at least he looked great in the uniform. The clink of money caught his attention and he turned to see her tipping more coins into the tip box. Was she not as poor as he’d assumed? Or did she just not understand that you really shouldn’t be tipping a bunch of coins when you could barely afford the coffee in the first place?

He opened his mouth to protest, then quickly closed it again. Who cared? She wasn’t his problem. If she wanted to tip him, fine, she could tip him. He was a pro at getting a ton of tips. 

Coffee made, he turned back to her and placed the drink and muffin on a little tray. “Thank you! Very generous. Enjoy, huh? Let me know if you need anything else,” he told her in his warmest voice with his most charming smile and - yeah, why not? - a little wink at the end. 

There. With an interaction like that, he was pretty sure he’d just secured another regular. Really, he didn’t get paid nearly enough for all the business he brought in just by being him. It was a tragedy.

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