Honestly, Canada, now you’re just rubbing it in our faces.

Roses are red part 9 (Joker x reader love triangle...)

The change in the two men was undeniable. Recognising the mysterious visitor their lustful greed was replaced with expressions of utter dread and horror, and rightfully so. The man who held you in his grasp, Tommy, violently released you and threw you on the ground towards the green haired man. You landed rather ungracefully with an audible gasp, grazing both your knees on the rough concrete. ‘L-look J, she’s all yours. We didn’t realise she belonged to you.’ Tommy’s voice trembled with fear as he spoke, lifting his arms to display both his palms as if in some kind of attempt to show he was telling the truth. Laughing, the green haired man lifted his left hand over his mouth so his tattooed grin was in place of his real smile. In a ghostlike stride, Joker approached the now quaking Tommy and placed one gloved finger over his lips. ‘Oh…I’m afraid is far too late for explanations’ he uttered as Tommy’s Adam’s apple moved in a visible gulp. Tommy’s acquaintance who looked on in horror finally spoke, ‘J were being honest, we wouldn’t touch anyone who you owned, we would never touch one of your whores’. This last sentiment seemed to have not been the best choice of words, as the demeanour of the clown prince appeared to rapidly change. His expression dropped from one of amusement to one of fatal seriousness, his head turning sharply towards the other man. In an act of supernatural speed, the green haired man reached inside his purple suit jacket, pulled out a gilded hand-gun and promptly shot Tommy in the head, all the while keeping his blue orbs fixated unblinkingly on the other man. As Tommy’s now limp body fell backwards, his associate yelled out, ‘no J please, do-‘ before he was cut off by J’s next bullet, his fate following that of his friend.

Now that that all the excitement was over, the green haired man turned rapidly towards you on the ground, grabbing your hand and immediately pulling you up to meet his firm body. Taking you in his embrace, you muttered a small ‘thank you’ before his lips were firmly locked onto yours. His kiss was rough and almost violent, as his firm hands felt up and down your tight bodice, pulling you in with an overwhelming desire for more. J pushed you against the brick wall behind you as he began to feel up your top. Unlike your last encounter with the strange men, J’s touch while rough and filled with desire was intoxicatingly pleasurable to you, and you let out an audible moan as his own detectible need pressed against your leg. Suddenly, the shiny barrel of a gun was firmly pressed against J’s head. Jared’s expression was filled with both disgust and anger, ‘Let her go’ he commanded. J’s head sharply turned towards him as he took one step away from me, swiftly grabbing his own pistol from his jacket and aiming it square at Jared’s head.

How did it ever come to this? The mental battle you had been fighting between the two Mr J’s was now your shocking reality. On your left was Jared, the honourable and the representative of all things good and virtuous. A man that would clearly risk his life to save you. A man who had listened so tenderly to your life story and who has always treated you with respect and kindness. While on your left was the Joker, the callous murderer, representative of mankind’s darkest impulses. A man who you knew more about from case files than personal encounters, but whom you held an indescribable connection with. A man who seemed more than determined to make you his own. The two men were frozen in a silent standoff, neither of them moving as the moonlight illuminated each of their strikingly similar features. As your heart throbbed in your ears, you glanced desperately between the two Mr J’s and your mind suddenly transported you a different place.

Adorned in a white dress, you looked towards a man standing under an arch made of red roses. It was your wedding day, and as you got closer you realised the man waiting for you was Jared, his expression filled with utter devotion as his lips hung slightly ajar in awe of the beauty of his approaching bride. In a flash of blinding white light you were suddenly in the kitchen of a large home with white furnishings, a small blue-eyed infant babbled up at you from a highchair. Jared placed his arms around you from behind, kissing you on the neck before proceeding to pick the squirming baby, turning to give you a warm smile of sheer glowing joy. Suddenly you where whirl winded away to a very different place. Dressed in a sequin shift dress that finished well above your knees, you appeared to be dancing on one of the floors at ‘house of cards’, the Joker observing you carefully from his throne with an expression of ravenous desire. In another flash, you were sitting on black satin sheets surrounded with red rose petals. The Joker approached you, pushing you down onto the sheets before climbing on top of you to fulfil his lust and yours.

This was all too much. You felt helpless as all you could do was take turns looking into the faces of the two men. Your two men. Your heart and potential future hanging precariously in the balance of the two guns. There was only one thing to do. You stepped out between them and yelled ‘STOP’ before the sickening rush of adrenaline and fear overwhelmed you and you faded out of consciousness.

OMFG I NEED MORE ❤👌

ME MMF FUCKING HOWLIJG JH

[vine of a screaming rubber chicken rolling down a roof. as it falls off the edge, it gets fainter.]

Im do fucking dead

im speechless

watching this again i can physically feel the hotdog in my lungs

— CrankthatFrank getting this shit right. (via yourpsychobubble)

When Connor laughs at his own joke

The way he purrs …

Reblog forever… @sxcker-for-pain listen. Listen!

oh god

::melts to floor::

Awe. fuck me daddy

My roommate is gay but I believe we’re probably like platonic soulmates bc whenever I text him “bad day” he picks me up a greek salad and a five guys fry and whenever he texts me “bad day” i pick him up ribs and cheesecake at bbq heaven on MLK street and we texted each other “bad day” at the same time today and came home to each other’s food that’s like. real love imo. 

Need me a freak like that

The perks of being a wallflower (2012)

‘We accept the love we think we deserve’

Ha Ha Ha