CHOKE

@dcrthdad / dcrthdad.tumblr.com

independent anakin skywalker or darth vader, if you're into that
as told by n.
est. january 2016.
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dcrthdad

.。.:*☆ ━━ ACTIVITY + SELECTIVITY NOTICE!

A.) the semester is starting for me on wednesday, which means my activity here will probably not be any higher than it is right now. my goal for this year is to remain active without any lengthy hiatuses, so expect me to be here. there may be less writing, but i will be available on discord and through tumblr im every day, probably all day. now’s the time to add me on discord, so pls do ask if you’d like to!
B.) to facilitate that new year’s goal, i will now be a private blog. mutuals only interactions. i will be very selective about asks i receive. i will unfollow people if they don’t follow back within a week or so. i will be culling inactive blogs from my follow list. and most importantly, i am only maintaining plotted threads. unless we have discussed the writing, the plot we’re building, the verse within which it exists, the thread will probably be dropped. i don’t want to be off-putting, but i know sustained activity for me depends on being able to engage ooc with someone about it while we’re writing and when we aren’t. if we have a thread that you want to continue, please let me know. i’ll be updating my rules soon to express these changes.
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.。.:*☆ ━━ REY.

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❛❛  YOU  !!  ❜❜   it is a dream  –––  a vision maybe.  she’s sure of that !   and yet the irritation she feels is real, the    FEAR     washing over her, paralyzing her for a moment no illusion.   ❛❛ you are anakin skywalker. ❜❜  darth vader. she feels it more than she really knows …  there’s a familiarity to his face   ––––   she undeniably recognizes the    EYES   !  the same eyes she’s looked into multiple times on various occasions now …   sometimes with dread, sometimes with hope.     BEN SOLO        has the same eyes.                          ❛❛ what do you want ?? ❜❜ 
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HE WANTS TO CLING TO HER  ——  to draw out the innocence from her, whose life spans less time than his death, and sap away the sting of rejection in a single blow. he wants to touch her with living hands and feel, not merely the force flowing through her, but the way her human heart brings warmth to her skin. he wants to see her through the eyes of those who have set her on this path  ——  his children, his grandson, countless insignificant souls in between  ——  and whose feeble minds are incapable of sensing just how    CENTRAL    she is to events in which they are all but play-actors. like the sun, something radiant within her draws his freezing being from a void blacker and colder than dead space itself. he    CRAVES    that, the light within her, that flickers and casts a shadow wider than she knows. in this moment, he needs an audience

                      ❛❛ i want to talk. ❜❜ 

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reblogged
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dcrthdad

.。.:*☆ ━━ ACTIVITY + SELECTIVITY NOTICE!

A.) the semester is starting for me on wednesday, which means my activity here will probably not be any higher than it is right now. my goal for this year is to remain active without any lengthy hiatuses, so expect me to be here. there may be less writing, but i will be available on discord and through tumblr im every day, probably all day. now’s the time to add me on discord, so pls do ask if you’d like to!
B.) to facilitate that new year’s goal, i will now be a private blog. mutuals only interactions. i will be very selective about asks i receive. i will unfollow people if they don’t follow back within a week or so. i will be culling inactive blogs from my follow list. and most importantly, i am only maintaining plotted threads. unless we have discussed the writing, the plot we’re building, the verse within which it exists, the thread will probably be dropped. i don’t want to be off-putting, but i know sustained activity for me depends on being able to engage ooc with someone about it while we’re writing and when we aren’t. if we have a thread that you want to continue, please let me know. i’ll be updating my rules soon to express these changes.
Avatar

.。.:*☆ ━━ ACTIVITY + SELECTIVITY NOTICE!

A.) the semester is starting for me on wednesday, which means my activity here will probably not be any higher than it is right now. my goal for this year is to remain active without any lengthy hiatuses, so expect me to be here. there may be less writing, but i will be available on discord and through tumblr im every day, probably all day. now’s the time to add me on discord, so pls do ask if you’d like to!
B.) to facilitate that new year’s goal, i will now be a private blog. mutuals only interactions. i will be very selective about asks i receive. i will unfollow people if they don’t follow back within a week or so. i will be culling inactive blogs from my follow list. and most importantly, i am only maintaining plotted threads. unless we have discussed the writing, the plot we’re building, the verse within which it exists, the thread will probably be dropped. i don’t want to be off-putting, but i know sustained activity for me depends on being able to engage ooc with someone about it while we’re writing and when we aren’t. if we have a thread that you want to continue, please let me know. i’ll be updating my rules soon to express these changes.
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.。.:*☆ ━━ LEIA.

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TO ALDERAAN, HE BROUGHT THE FORCE OF THUNDER. storms ravaged the capital on the night of vader’s arrival, shattering the fair weather myth of the planet at the same time that he approached with thudding boots and clenched fists to shatter its happy royal family. the weather, a HARBINGER created by the hand of fate itself, laid hazy bleakness across the gardens, beat the windows with fat drops of rain, and illuminated the dead of night with strikes of VIOLENT light. there was no need to enter the palace with the red of his saber bared as the heavens above were conspiring to aid the anticipation already stoking fear indoors. 

vader’s final words to bail organa had been simple, foretelling a certainty brought about as much by chance as force of will: you will know when.

he arrived with the force of his fist, a dozen troopers operating merely as the guise of legality. the girl was taken from her bed, awakened by the gentle arms of her father. it seemed the queen had already said her goodbyes. an elaborate lie separated this instance of selfish kidnapping from rogue TREACHERY, and alderaan’s palace suffered through the night to pay for the reliability of that lie. traitors paid with blood, he would tell his master later. little more than crushing what we knew to be growing. 

the resistance was no older than his daughter, whose little body he carried through the wind-blown gardens to the hangar. the hem of her nightgown was damp, her hair hung in wet ringlets, and the tears she shed were washed away by the rainfall. the bindings did not fit her wrists, so the troopers marched her around with them held in their fists.

the pain of gazing upon her was held off until aboard the flagship. she had been kept in a cell, tended to by a droid without the capability of explaining the situation to her, held in a state of TERROR for which vader could summon no mercy. if she was the child he had been led to believe —— that six years of observation had brought to VIVID life in his imagination —— then it would only embolden her. when he called for her, his back was to the door. in the reflection of the viewport, he watched her silhouette wrest itself from the grasp of the troopers and march across the room. 

the DEFIANCE he sensed in her was prodigious; it smarted of a forgotten familiarity. 

the mask hid the wave of anguish that seeing her inspired. in her wide eyes, in her quivering lips, in the tight fists of her hands, in the way she held her head (  born dressed in regality, blessed with innate confidence ) —— in all of her was her mother. the silence continued uninterrupted, a SUFFOCATING blanket over the room, as he stared at her and willed himself to rip her from the past. this girl, trembling child with something akin to hate growing in her eyes, embodied the future he now possessed.

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      ❛ SPEAK, CHILD.”

.。.:*☆ ━━━━━━━ @onlihope
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meta topic: coping with physical pain as darth vader

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.。.:*☆ ━━━━━━━ meta | always accepting !

i don’t have my copies of lords of the sith or luceno’s dark lord, so i will probably not draw on any specific instances. however, these two novels have really put into perspective my thoughts about this particular topic. the descriptions of how vader handles both his own physical existence and the inhuman rage he carries … well, let’s just jump into it, shall we ?
the most important thing to know is that the pain serves as a MOTIVATOR. it fuels his anger, his hatred, and the strength that those emotions produce. the constant suffering is in many ways a background feeling, something he accepts over time, but the effect of it —— psychologically, really —— should not be understated. he is kept alive by medical intervention, but pain management is less of a concern for ... really anyone.
part of coping is assigning MEANING to it. as stated above, it is fuel for the fire that is vader. he is physically tormented and weak, and the pain is a reminder of that fact. it is a reminder of the twisted, dark path that created this state of living. it is a reminder of the dead men that litter that path. for a long time, it’s a reminder of obi-wan in particular. all of this inspires rage, inspires very specific and concentrated hatred, motivates strength of both the physical and force-based kind. by placing his misery in the CONTEXT of cause, of meaning, he is able to manage it internally. anakin as anakin skywalker, anakin as darth vader … he is no stranger to suffering, has never been, will never be. 
i’m not going to go into the actual details of physical care because … it’s less immediately relevant to my writing, i guess. the psychological MACHINERY he has constructed to process the pain is just … fascinating and very, very sad.
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dcrthdad

                                        ❛ WITHIN YOUR FURNACE HEART                                          … BURN IN YOUR OWN FLAME. ❜

                au friendly | oc friendly | multi-muse friendly | sometimes exclusive | art source.

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