HEY HOWDY Y’ALL... the time has come. Follow me on twitter !!!! @farmervstheater !!!!! (The name was too long) for a continuation of this content. Back and rowdier than ever. YEEHAW AND GOD BLESS

Give me a holler

Yeehaw to all you pure ranchers and evil performers! Since this cursed website is going under, I want to ask: should I move my cause to Twitter to further spread the word of the evil of theater? Please let me know.

Thank you. Haybales.

Been a while, partners...

Should I reveal myself to y’all?

Just laid down a fresh coat of manure so for all you thespians out there :))))

Eat it

Summer vacation 😎

Except I can’t relax because I’m constantly haunted by the never-ending threat of thespian life existing and multiplying all around me growing larger by the second and evolving to blend into everyday life of society like some kind of invasive species that has infiltrated the population without any warning and spreads its venom through the very structure of humankind itself, poisoning it until the point of no return.

Anyway... yay summer

That viral video of the yodeling Walmart child is an internet sensation I can actually get behind. Finally some content that’s actually relatable to my lifestyle.

History doesn’t lie

If you’re not shucking corn right now then what the hELL aRE YOU DOINg?!

If I ever even look at a pair of tap shoes, burn me at the stake.

The 9 Circles of Hell

1. Limbo

2. Lust

3. Gluttony

4. Greed

5. Anger

6. Heresy

7. Violence

8. Fraud

9. Theatre

I had to do it to ‘em

If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms you could have a virus known as “thespianism”

-spontaneous involuntary dancing

-a sudden apathy towards your crops

-the desire to burst out in a loud, obnoxious, manner known as “song”

-glitter replacing any of your main bodily fluids such as sweat, tears, and urine

-am incessant need to prove that you’ve “got what it takes”

WARNING: this virus is EXTREMELY contagious so if you or someone you love is experiencing any of these symptoms; contact a doctor or executioner immediately and consider quarantine or mercy killing as the only options.