Fear my Botany powers

*vibrating* it’s the cowboy witch poem it’s the cowboy witch poem it’s the cowboy witch poem

With October just around the corner, NASA has released its latest Galaxy of Horrors posters. Presented in the style of vintage horror movie advertisements. As fun and creative as all three posters are, they're based on real phenomena. 🎃

Can you hear this exoplanet screaming?

As HD 80606 b approaches its star from an extreme, elliptical orbit, it suffers star-grazing torture that causes howling, supersonic winds and shockwave storms across the planet. Its torturous journey boils its atmosphere to a hellish 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit every 111 days, roasting both its light and dark sides. HD 80606b will never escape this scorching nightmare.

This bone-chilling force will leave you shivering alone in terror!

An unseen power is prowling throughout the cosmos, driving the universe to expand at a quickening rate. This relentless pressure, called dark energy, is nothing like dark matter, that mysterious material only revealed by its gravitational pull. Dark energy offers a bigger fright: pushing galaxies farther apart over trillions of years, leaving the universe to an inescapable, freezing death in the pitch black expanse of outer space.​

Cygnus X-1 Presents:

It’s Dinner Time and You’re The Meal!

Lurking in our galaxy, approximately 6,000 light-years from Earth, is a monster named CygnusX-1. This black hole, which has about 14.8 times the mass of our Sun, will stretch and squeeze anything it captures in its immense gravity. Cygnus X-1 is waiting, snacking on its neighboring star. Don’t get too close, or you’ll become its next meal!

This chillingly haunted galaxy mysteriously stopped making stars only a few billion years after the Big Bang! It became a cosmic cemetery, illuminated by the red glow of decaying stars. Dare to enter, and you might encounter the frightening corpses of exoplanets or the final death throes of once-mighty stars.

Something strange and mysterious creeps throughout the cosmos. Scientists call it dark matter. It is scattered in an intricate web that forms the skeleton of our universe. Dark matter is invisible, only revealing its presence by pushing and pulling on objects we can see. NASA’s Roman Space Telescope will investigate its secrets. What will be revealed?

In the depths of the universe, the cores of two collapsed stars violently merge to release a burst of the deadliest and most powerful form of light, known as gamma rays. These beams of doom are unleashed upon their unfortunate surroundings, shining a million trillion times brighter than the Sun for up to 30 terrifying seconds. No spaceship will shield you from the blinding destruction of the gamma ray ghouls!

These doomed worlds were among the first and creepiest to be discovered as they orbit an undead star known as a pulsar. Pulsar planets like Poltergeist and its neighboring worlds, Phobetor and Draugr, are consumed with constant radiation from the star’s core. Nothing but the undead can subsist in this most inhospitable corner of the galaxy.

This far-off blue planet may look like a friendly haven – but don’t be deceived! Weather here is deadly. The planet’s cobalt blue color comes from a hazy, blow-torched atmosphere containing clouds laced with glass. Howling winds send the storming glass sideways at 5,400 mph (2km/s), whipping all in a sickening spiral. It’s death by a million cuts on this slasher planet!

pOOL POSITION

photo creds to @zenaiaobvsly on twitter!!

( ♡,♡,♡,♡ ) for @bakwaaas

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

the first post ever on tumblr

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

World Heritage Post

like actually though. i’m in AWE of the notecount.

reblog to give your friend a bad day

this is the monalisa of tumblr

“And to your right you’ll see the colour of the sky post, and tumblrinas desperately trying to scroll down to it’s end.”

this is it, this post started it all

NOW THAT TUMBLR HAS ANNOUNCED TO SHORTEN LONG POSTS, REBLOG TO TORMENT YOUR FOLLOWERS ONE LAST TIME

“This is a tapestry I made myself! I just finished it!” 

“…. this is…. big.”

“Eighty feet long, ten high, in forty panels! It was originally going to be sixty feet, but then the Thomas Malory Arthuriana got big and I had to put more stuff in.” 

“… Malory published in the fifteenth century.” 

“Do you have any idea how long it takes one person to embroider eight thousand square feet of tapestry?” 

“You’ve had a lot of free time in the last eight hundred years, haven’t you?” 

“Not once I took up embroidery as a hobby, no!” 

“Want to see my stalagmite cultivation work?”

So I managed to watch the first 15 minutes of Hawkeye today, and I am so unbelievably pissed off.

This show is STEEPED in David Aja’s style.

The opening credits are a replica of his work.

There’s a moment where Kate pulls back her bow, and time slows. You can hear her heartbeat and the snowflakes move in slow motion.

Just like this panel set.

It gave me the exact same feeling.

And I was so pissed.

Because David Aja isn’t even credited in the show. Because David Aja wasn’t even payed.

And worse yet, it seems they didn’t even offer him the bullshit $5,000.

Marvel misuses their artists, writers and creators.

Disney is full of greedy assholes.

David Aja and Matt Fraction are beyond skilled, and Disney blatantly ripped off David’s entire style from the font to the coloring. And they ripped Matt’s story straight from the pages. It’s a carbon copy of their work.

Creators deserve to be compensated fairly for their work.

Marvel makes billions, they can afford to properly honor comic creators.

This is too bad. I have some of David Aja and Matt Fraction's books and they're beautiful. They should be paid.

date someone that makes you roll your eyes and smile right after

fucking WASTED

In retrospect ….. grunge crush

if you’re abled, please watch this

Transcript:

A tiktok reply to a comment that says, “an ambulatory wheelchair user? 😂😂😂”

The girl says, “I wasn’t gonna reply to this comment at first, but I decided I should make a video on it, because recently, I’ve gotten so many ableist comments about being an ambulatory wheelchair user, and I really wanted to address it. There are quite literally hundreds of reasons why someone could use a wheelchair. And actually, the majority of wheelchair users are not paralyzed. Over 60 % of wheelchair users are not paralyzed. They use it for some other disability. So just because you see someone who uses a wheelchair get up and walk for a few steps does not mean that they don’t need their wheelchair.

I use a wheelchair for like, ten different reasons. First of all, I have a condition called hypermobility spectrum disorder, which is very similar to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, for people who know about that, which basically means that all the connective tissue in my body is extremely stretchy and loose. This means that all of my joints are extremely hyper-mobile and they dislocate very easily. My hips sublux, or partially dislocate, almost every single time I try to take a step. It’s extremely painful, and it literally causes damage to my hip joints. My connective tissue disorder also caused me to develop a condition called POTS, or postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. This makes me pass out basically any time I stand up for more than, like, 20 seconds. So it’s not really safe, because I’ve gotten concussions from it before from passing out and hitting my head.

POTS and hyper-mobility spectrum disorder also come with extreme fatigue, and I don’t mean being tired, I mean fatigue. My muscles physically get exhausted much easier than other people’s. And, to top it off, I have a neurological condition called functional neurological disorder. Basically, it makes my legs go numb, it causes me to have extreme muscle weakness in my calves and thighs, and some days I can’t really move them that well.

Disabled people and ambulatory wheelchair users do not owe you an explanation, and you need to understand that. I am sharing this because I feel comfortable with it and because I want to, I want to educate this person. But you have to understand that not every person is like that, and quite frankly, it’s none of your business. Thank you.”

End transcript.

not to talk about doctor who but remember being a lonely depressed teenager and hearing him say '900 years of time and space and i've never met anyone who wasn't important'

he was like ‘just this once-everybody lives’ and i chased that shit with homosexual determination for every day since, like maybe through pure force of will i could save everyone i loved from a system that wanted us dead

You know what? This reminds me of this story from Tom Baker.

Doctor Who has been saving people and inspiring them for decades.

when i was 22 i was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder and i was DEEP in the depression cycle and had suicidal ideation but one day a doctor who quote came streaming back into my mind:

"You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive"

and it hit me hard cause all i could think was "i want the numbed feelings/heightened sadness bottomless pit feelings to stop, and i don't know how i'm gonna come out of this alive" but everyday after i remembered that quote i'd think "maybe i will survive this" and just that simple mantra every morning helped me push through the individual therapy, and the group therapy, and figuring out want medicines work best for me and i did survive.

and to this day the 9th doctor is still one of my absolute faves

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE. 

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast

*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*

normal person: walking faster 

even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so

kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:

 moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳

Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :) 

her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this: 

This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.

literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten

that means the angels are babysitters then

here have more

You guys really need to read Christopher Moore’s Lamb, if you haven’t.

Always reblog Cryptid Jesus

I made more. cause it’s fun

I love that you guys used their actual names

I did not consider Eldritch Baby Jesus.

God I know you have a sense of humor because otherwise there’s no explanation for the platypus and I hope it extends to comics about baby cryptid Jesus

pretty obsessed with this one

important images I've discovered:

hello i would like to add

who put this rodent in high heels

these guys are so fucking animal