Hey

she has a flower for you!

here is her matching otter friend!

Ok idk who came up with making a "cleaningsona" but that hack works so damn well?? I absolutely cannot clean my room until I put on my most Victorian blouse, my fangs, start playing my funky little vampire playlist, and pretend I'm an 800 year old immortal who's bittersweet about packing up and moving to a new town with a new identity because locals are starting to catch on that I'm a vampire

Or perhaps, if you need a sense of urgency, you may also be an age old vampre currently imprisoning hosting a young englsh solicitor in your home and you must clear up quickly so that your new good friend doesnt notice you have no staff and that the two of you are in fact alone, in this castle, in the middle of no where? Maybe? Idk

I put on her favourite tv program

in other news, Belphegor has discovered a heating vent

I think we're too harsh on medieval painters because this is legitimately what some poodle mixes look like

like. these breeds didn't even EXIST yet back then. those painters were PROPHETS.

Those are the painters, cursed by God for their incompetence

this is for a part-time job as a barista

on an application to work the front desk of a hotel

If minimum wage you'd like to make, This ancient quiz you'll have to take.

Step right up, but be prepared. Those who fail are poverty-snared. Question One! If your labor proves most fruitful, Raking quarters by the bootful, Who should excess profits reap, Me the wolf or you the sheep? Question Two! If, by merit, you're made pope, What will be your fervent hope? Law and order justly paired? Or mercy and the guilty spared?

Question Three! If a train should leave Topeka Driven by a solar squeaker, How then should the cat behave? Give it milk or give it grave? Question Four! Do you have a criminal record?

If minimum wage

you’d like to make, This ancient

quiz you’ll have to take.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Fun little math trick I find really helpful: the ratio of a mile to a kilometer is within 1% of the Golden Ratio. That means that if you have a good memory for Fibonacci numbers (1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89) you can convert pretty accurately by taking consecutive Fibonacci numbers.

For example, 89 kilometers is really close to 55 miles (55.3). Or, say you need to convert 26 miles to kilometers: 26 can be written as 21 plus 5, so taking the next Fibonacci number up gives 34 and 8, meaning it should be around 42 kilometers. Sure enough, it's 41.8 km!

i need several moments, math like this scares me

Not gonna lie, as much as I want to be helpful and comprehensible, I am very proud of provoking that reaction image.

I took a jaunt around europe and used this trick constantly

canon trans Julian Bashir ftw

hatchery work is so funny to me bc if you eat a wild caught alaskan salmon there’s real life nonzero chance that I put its egg in a bucket, covered it in milt (salmon semen) and stirred it all together with my bare hands. and now ur eating it. idk what that makes us to each other but don’t forget it

idk what it makes us but it makes ME want to cook you a fine salmon dinner should we ever sit for a meal together

Grim and Belphegor had an illegal meeting, so I'm allowing them to legally meet

he wants to play with Grim so bad, but is also respecting her hisses

okay he pushed his luck, encounter over

sad reality of the fanfic-to-published work economy is that the weirdest people are willing to do it. that's why there's now hundreds of shitty no plot cishet hate-to-love enemies-to-lovers books that are ex reylo fanfic. and it's not even good. that's because the people who wrote book-quality steve/bucky and kirk/spock fic are too normal to think to themselves "i should get this porn published". they're too busy working in local government offices

everyone I am happy to announce that the stevebucky fanfic author I had in mind while writing this post has officially reblogged it.

the communist man of pesto

step one to overcoming social anxiety is to realize that most people kind of suck and their opinion of you is literally worthless

Vax chic.

[Image ID:] Image 01: A blonde woman wearing a gray turtleneck jumper with the left shoulder cut out.

Image 02: a screenshot from Star Trek The Original Series (episode: The Naked Time) where Kirk's right shoulder has been ripped away. Bones is holding up a hypospray. [End Image ID]