you ever have just like, a really bad idea

anyways if you like bad things here’s a postcard

I was trying to figure out why this post starting spiking recently and then I found out you animals had this queued for Mother’s Day

Now this is what I mean (metaphorically) by "enrichment in my enclosure"

Otter enclosure immersive experience...

Sci-fi author admits to not actually having written anything in 9 months

Sci-fi author admits to plaigirizing for 9 months.

this is so funny

the royal mail detectives are a weird bunch, and like if it was addressed right it would get right but i love the idea they went "well it's from Trier so send it to the twinned town first"

Terry Pratchett would have loved this

Common chaffinch/bofink. Värmland, Sweden (June 4, 2020).

Common chaffinch/bofink. Värmland, Sweden (June 4, 2020).

do NOT be normal about aragorn around me ‘oh he’s such a badass he killed so many orcs’ yeah idc i’m here to talk about him all alone sewing up holes in his socks next to a campfire in his ranger days singing elven songs from his childhood and he sort of has a terrible singing voice but the ents love it and then later when he joins the fellowship and everyone’s up late singing goofy songs he’s so happy to have a chorus with him now and his voice keeps breaking and boromir is laughing so hard at him that he’s crying but not in a mean way and aragorn knows so he just sings louder and worse and he thinks he could get used to this

TIME TO EXPLAIN MY USERNAME

When they are being chased by nazgul, he is waffling over using the bridge openly, in cause it is a trap, and he decides they’re going to trust it because he finds a pretty rock. Which he calls an elf-stone, like the name he’ll eventually take, but obviously this is not THE elf-stone.

And Glorfindel had cleared that bridge earlier. And he was like “hmmm what symbol can I leave that Estel would definitely notice, and make known to him the way I’d safe? I know! A pretty rock! Estel loves cool rocks.”

And literally this was not an agreed upon symbol, Aragorn just goes “An Elf stone! These are good luck!”

And I am now convinced that little Estel growing up in Rivendell, would bring Elrond or his mom or any elf who he wanted to make friends with a rock he found that he thought was neat.

And of course, all of the elves are like “oh no, it’s cute!” Because here is this solemn little boy who wants to share the things he likes with them, and Elf children are rare at this point on middle earth, so all of these ancient elves are like. These garden stones. Are treasures.

And Elrond encourages his hobby, and helps teach him about types of rock and geology, because he is absolutely the Learning is Fun! Dad, but also he’s the heir to the Kings of the Noldor on middle earth, married to the niece of Felegund, who lived among the Gwaith i Mirdain for a while. Knowing about all types of rocks is probably, like, the Noldor equivalent of learning about all sorts of animals in kindergarten.

And because he absolutely unknowingly has the entire valley wrapped around his finger, elves start hiding interesting rocks around Rivendell. And uncut semi precious stones.

And Estel brings them to Elrond to help him look up in a book, and the Lord of Rivendell has to look at a young boy with a straight face and say, yes, it’s possible for raw emeralds to show up on the banks of the Bruinen, elves live here, lots of special things pop up around elves.

And so he calls them elf-stones, and is very happy with his little collection, and he shows all his friends who are all very impressed, some of them are rare and some are just odd shapes, or an interesting pattern, and not all of them got left around by elves in the longest Easter egg hunt of all time.

So Estel grows up, and becomes chieftain of the Dunedain, and has to leave his collection behind because he can hardly carry around a bunch of rocks as a Ranger, but sometimes he’ll bring one back when he visits, because collecting rocks and sharing them with his friends is a very happy memory for him, though what he finds is rarely as nice as the ones he’d find in Rivendell.

And all this to say, Glorfindel, who was absolutely one of the elves who hid rocks for Aragorn, is thinking of what to leave as a sign that won’t be too obvious, but he will definitely notice… and well, Glorfindel is also a Noldo, and he has a green stone in his pocket that DEFINITELY doesn’t belong among the stones on the bank here, but Aragorn will be sure to spot it and know a friend was near.

I have not decided if Aragorn legit still believes cool rocks pop up around elves, or is looking for any sign and it’s the only bright happy thing in a desperate world, but he totally got the message either way.

And that’s my Aragorn’s rock collection headcanon.

Arwen loves his rock collection btw. The first present he gives her when he has nothing and falls for her in Lothlorien is the small stone he’d carried in his pocket for miles.

He tells her how he started picking them up and giving them away as a child, and how now he only lets himself carry one he finds on his journeys. And so if he finds another he likes he has to choose between them. But because of that each stone is both a memory of his journey, and a reminder of his homecoming.

And she looks at this smooth white river stone- she is also a Noldo, this is a completely valueless piece of impure sedimentary quartz and calcium carbonate- in the palm of her hand. It came out of the pocket of this greasy man who called her her great-great grandmother’s name completely unironically, and looks into his hopeful grey eyes and just thinks “goddamnit I’m going to marry this poetic idiot and be so fucking happy.”

She gives him the most important stone of his collection, THE elf-stone, (at least she tells her grandmother she wants him to have it), and it’s slightly important to his fate or something, and he literally names himself after it so it’s kind of a big deal but he still insists completely straight faced that the one he gave her was better.

1163565318545

all video games should have a “I’m shit at video games but I’m curious about the story and I don’t want to watch a let’s play” mode

I am

I made this post because I am disabled and no matter how much I practice there are some games I will never be able to play because I physically cannot move my fingers the way you have to and the responses to this post from other disabled people, people who grew up unable to play video games, and people who just aren’t very good at them has been extremely enthusiastically positive, while people who apparently can’t conceive of the idea that some people will never be good at gaming condescendingly comment, tag or send me asks telling me to try easy mode or to get good despite the fact that the feature I’m describing already exists in some games and mods. if you’re part of the latter group, consider that some of us can not ever be good at video games and we still deserve to be able to participate and have fun

Ok, real talk, if you play PC games I use a program called Wemod that has settings for almost every game ever and you can change them to suit your needs Unlimited health? one hit kill? unlimited items? They can’t mod multiplayer games, but every genre of game imaginable is on Wemod so I use it for everything from stardew valley, subnautica, hades, farming sim and more! It mods the games to your level of ease without needing to mess with any files or get deep into webpages for mods yourself It is a life changer

FYI ⬆️⬆️⬆️

Only passing along as the only games I play are on my phone.

Get an older sibling and have them play the game and you watch

One, this is older siblings who watch younger siblings play erasure, two that’s not the point. People deserve to enjoy the experience of playing a game for themselves. Watching someone play is fun. Playing yourself is a different kind of fun.

There are so many reasons why someone wouldn’t want to be challenged by a game, and it’s ridiculous that people can’t fathom someone requiring a different gameplay than themselves. 

Back in the dark ages when I was a kid and we got our first computer, my dad noticed that I was sad because I wanted to play computer games like him, so he would let me play his games in god mode. Should a five year old have been playing Ultimate Doom? Absolutely not. Did I enjoy the shit out of it, particularly the part where I couldn’t die and could just wander around aimlessly machine gunning demons to death with no real goal in mind? Hell yes.

Also, no one should have to explain the reason they want to play the game in god mode.

That is absolutely none of your business, if someone wants to play the game with max items, weapons, armor, money etc., whatever reason they’re playing that way for. YOU, the anon on the internet have no business knowing or shitting on how they play. It’s THEIR game, and THEIR gameplay experience. and I hope OP was able to play their game the way they wanted to without being stymied by the games mechanics.

Oh shit, I have something for this!

Can I Play That? is a good resource for fellow disabled folks who want to play video games, as well as non-disabled video game devs who want to make their games more accessible. I highly recommend checking it out!

Edit: Can I Play That? is very much still a work in progress. In my experience, they are receptive to feedback on making the site itself easier to navigate and (as far as I know) are working on improvements. It is not a comprehensive list of what features are available in all games. It is a resource that provides a space for disabled people to share their thoughts and experiences with games, and can be good for reaching out to other disabled folks who have played games you’re interested in.

"i fucked your wife"/"i'm having sex with your wife"/"i'm cucking you": comedy

"i'm helping your wife with household chores"/"i'm taking your wife out to a nice dinner and show after she's had a long day at work"/"i'm bonding with your children over family gatherings": peak comedy

Transcendent comedy

When I got up this morning my eldest cat came over and wanted to show me something (hooked his tail around my leg while walking away an looked back to make sure I was following).

So I followed him and he showed me a sunbeam and flooped near the side so I'd have room to join him

Where's that post about seeing a black cats fur go red in the sun and feeling better?

OK, so I think I realised why he thought it was important to show me. It's only been about 30 mins but the sun has shifted and now its on his toys.

It's a time sensitive floopable sunbeam. He wanted to share his lil secret morning sunbeam with me.

Note, he's got plenty of other sunbeams but he's never specifically shown me them

I’ve been asked many times what someone should look for when trying to find a good artist. The best way you can do this is to look at their portfolio, whether it’s in a book at their shop or online. If they don’t have good work in their portfolio, they’re probably not good artists.

The shop may be clean, the people there might be nice, and the design they draw up for you might be exactly what you want, but if your artist doesn’t stand up to the points listed above, then you’re going to get a bad tattoo.

It’s okay to walk into a shop, talk with an artist for a while, and decide you don’t want a tattoo from them. Even if the artist has a bad attitude about it or tries to convince you to just let them do it, remember this is going to be on your body for the rest of your life.

i have never even been a sonic fan. i’ve played mario and sonic at the olympics at most.. okay. but shadow the hedgehog is a real presence in my life. he’s my virgin mary. like my y2k techno mall goth miss piggy. he is real to me… you understand… like hatsune miku. every haircut i get is in his name.

autistic people of a particular flavour will master the art of expressing mundane sentiment in amusing ways because their most successful jokes as children were primarily accidental. and when you realise you have that spark of a weirdo it's just a matter of intentionality and comic linguistic optimisation to make yourself a regular sayer of things in funny ways.

Maybe you're just hot?

I mean it helps also

intergenerational trauma has me losing my mind bc it’ll have you looking at your mama like “well i woulda been batshit crazy if i was raised by her mama too.” and then you look at your grandma and you’re like “well i woulda been batshit crazy if i was raised by her mama too!” and rinse and repeat

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