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Are You Yet Living?

@msdisdain / msdisdain.tumblr.com

AO3: msdisdain. She/her. No longer pretending it's not all about Johnlock. Other loves: Hamilton; Who; Potter; Whedon; Hunger Games; Star Wars; Mortal Instruments; The Scorpio Races; Carry On; YA fiction in general.
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reblogged

Every Spring Awakening Slime

When I was neck-deep in Spring Awakening a year or so ago, I ended up with a whole pile of slime tutorials, so I thought I’d make a master post. Not all of these versions are equal, but if you’re like I am and really love overanalyzing different versions of the same show, this is for you.

Deaf West, Broadway version, subtitled. Act 1 & Act 2

Miami Stage Company version. Act 1 & Act 2

There are several other versions on YouTube (mostly college productions) but these are, in my opinion, the most notable at the time of my posting this. Enjoy!

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my entire personality is now remembering Sara Bareilles as the Baker’s Wife

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I cannot even with Heartstopper.

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okay look I like a lot of ostensibly bad stuff - bad musicals, like Grease 2 and The Pirate Movie, for instance. But this blatant Hamilton ripoff is…well, fellow Sherlock fans, you should form your own opinion.

You might be tempted to stop partway through but I believe you need the full song. Full album on Spotify.

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itislove

Johnlock Fic Rec 3/2022

March was....something else, but thank god fanfiction was there for me!

Vain Head and Double Heart by HerHighness, Teen and Up, ~7,4k, Soulmate AU

A Brand of Gold by aquabelacqua, Mature, ~13k, IDIOTS to lovers, sexting, phone sex

All the Times Something ALMOST Happened by allonsys_girl, Teen and Up, ~9k, Angst, Pining Sherlock

The Liar and The Lost by unholiest, Mature, ~38k, mourning, Sherlock away in Serbia, John comes to the rescue, lots of feeels

How Sherlock Holmes Was Compelled to Remember... by MirithGriffin, Mature, ~5,8k, Victorianlock, first time, christmas, turkish baths

Buried Treasure by kedgeree, Teen and Up, ~2,8k, mind palace, friends to lovers

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs, Explicit, ~6k, Sherlock is a Virgin Baby, John is very aroused by this

Until the End of the World by SarahCat1717, General, ~3k, songfic, pining Sherlock

Strings by EstherShapiro, Explicit, ~5k, PWP, massages

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi, Explicit, ~87,5k, S3 Fix-it, captivity, torture, character death, happy ending

Reason goes before a Fall by Lorelei_Lee, Mature, ~28k, John thinks he can't have Sherlock and resolves his sexual tention with a sex worker, who turns out to be Sherlock in disguise

Not Literal Shelves by westernredcedar, Mature, ~4k, Stag Night

Messages From Deep Waters by J_Bailier, Explicit, ~56k, Sherlock messed up an assignement from his brother and gets sent to a remote island where he meets John! SERIOUSLY GO READ

Ennui by bittergreens, Explicit, ~6,8k, PWP, First Time

You SHould Have Changed Course Long Ago by msdisdain, Explicit, ~33k, Angst, John leaves London, evenual happy ending

What My Body Has Seen by philalethia, Explicit, ~12k, PWP, Sherlock has a come kink

Another Country by Chryse, Explicit, ~67k, Drug use, recovery, Tab fix it

A fantastic lineup. 

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msdisdain

I am among so many favorites here. Thanks for reccing YSHCCLA!

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Narrative Botox: Filler Words and Phrases to Look Out For

If you’re planning on publishing traditionally, chances are you keep a sharp eye on your word count. Literary agents and publishing houses are on the hunt for the best quality stories that they can print for the cheapest price (using the least paper and ink), so you have a higher chance of gaining representation if you can crank your novel out in the least words possible.

However, filler words and phrases aren’t only the enemies of aspiring traditional authors; every writer—fanfic, novelist, journalist, you name it!—should try to eliminate filler from their stories to assure more concise and high-quality writing. Oftentimes, filler contributes nothing but clutter, and without it, your narrative can flow smoother and in a more sophisticated manner.

But how do you know what’s filler and what’s not? Here are some tips on how to Ctrl+F and kick this narrative botox to the curb!

I compiled these lists with the help of Infusionmedia, BDR Publishing, and ResetEra !

Filler Words

1. Just

A writer’s worst enemy, and the bane of my manuscripts’ existences. Eliminating all the ‘just’s can cut down your word count by hundreds.

2. “That” as a conjunction

It’s an unnecessary addition to a sentence, which will be more streamlined without it.

  • Example: “He said that he wouldn’t do it again.”
  • Revised: “He said he wouldn’t do it again.”

3. “Now” as an adverb

“Now” is essential if you’re talking about the past and present, but when you’re using it to draw attention to a particular statement or point.

  • Example:Now, I didn’t think it’d get so out of hand.”
  • Revised: “I didn’t think it’d get so out of hand.”

4. Redundant adverbs

These adverbs serve no purpose because the verbs they’re describing already imply the way the action is performed.

  • Whispering softly
  • Yelling loudly
  • Crying sadly
  • Laughing happily

5. “Telling” words

These words are redundant, especially when using first person, because in describing an event, we can already assume that the characters are experiencing it.

  • Seeing/saw
  • Feeling/felt
  • Hearing/heard
  • Smelling/smelled

6. “Clarifying” words used to portray definiteness or indefiniteness

Although these are meant to help out the readers get their bearings on a situation, all they do is come across as wishy-washy! Be concise and sure of yourself!

  • About
  • Absolutely
  • Accordingly
  • Actually
  • Almost
  • Basically
  • Certainly
  • Clearly
  • Completely
  • Entirely
  • Even
  • Exactly
  • Fairly
  • Highly
  • Hopefully
  • Literally
  • Maybe
  • Only
  • Often
  • Oftentimes
  • Perhaps
  • Possibly
  • Probably
  • Quite
  • Rather
  • Really
  • Reasonably
  • Relatively
  • Seem
  • Seriously
  • Simply
  • Slightly
  • Some
  • Somehow
  • Sometimes
  • Totally
  • Very

Filler Phrases

1.“Let out (vocal noise)”

Use the verb instead!

  • Example: “He let out a sigh.”
  • Revised: “He sighed.”

2. Using passive voice

Passive voice inflates your word count by including various “to be” verbs into the prose. Passive voice involves actions happening to a subject rather than the subject performing an action, and as a result isn’t as riveting to the reader as active voice; even if it wasn’t a matter of word count, you’d still want to get rid of it anyway!

Still don’t know what I’m talking about? Check out this article from Grammarly.

  • Example: “The boy was bitten by the dog on his arm.”
  • Revised: “The dog bit the boy on his arm.”

3. Describing the wrong noun

Many writers will be as specific as possible about what “thing” is affected by the event they’re describing, when it’s much simpler to take a step back and write about something more general.

  • Example: “The level of water rose.”
  • Revised: “The water rose.”

4. Phrasal verbs

Phrasal verbs are the combination of two or three words from different grammatical categories—a verb and an adverb or a preposition—to form a single action. Usually, these phrasal verbs can be replaced by a single-word verb.

  • “Ask for” can be replaced with “request”
  • “Bring down” can be replaced with “reduce”
  • “Come across” can be replaced with “find”
  • Etc.

5. Clarifying phrases

Same reason as clarifying words. Get to the point!

  • A bit
  • A little
  • A lot
  • In a sense
  • Kind of
  • Sort of

6. Remember your contractions!

Even if your story takes place in olden times, I can guarantee that if you never use any contractions ever, your story’s gonna be a clunky mess. But sometimes you’re in the moment, consumed by the poetic power of the muses, and forget that this isn’t a soap opera; so make sure you check that you’ve been using your contractions!

  • It is, it was, it would, she is, would not, should not, is not, does not etc.

7. Inflated phrases

These phrases can be replaced with more concise words.

  • Along the lines of (shorten to: like)
  • As a matter of fact (in fact)
  • As to whether (whether)
  • At all times (always)
  • At the present (now or currently)
  • At this point in time (now or currently)
  • Be able to/would(n’t) be able to (could or couldn’t)
  • Because of the fact that (because)
  • By means of (by)
  • Due to the fact that (because)
  • Even though (though or although)
  • For the purpose of (for)
  • For the reason that (because)
  • Have the ability to (could)
  • In light of the fact that (because)
  • In order to (to)
  • In regards to (on or about)
  • In spite of the fact that (though or although)
  • In the event that (if)
  • In the nature of (like)
  • In the neighborhood of (about)
  • On the occasion of (when)
  • On one/two separate occasions (Once/twice)
  • The/A majority of (most)
  • There is no doubt that (No doubt)
  • Wasn(n’t) capable of (could or couldn’t)

Hope this helped, and happy writing!

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reblogged

Lotsa MORE fics Saturday: recently completed multi-chapters, for the wip-wary

One day I recced 12 WIPs, the next day it’s 11 (whoops) multi-chapters that were completed in 2022, with just one bit of cheating.

Thanks for reblogging! Share the love.

Accidental Magic by @calaisreno​ (8 chapter) ciphers, bed-sharing, and books, oh my. Gently and ineluctably, Sherlock wins John. Delicious.

Mrs. Hudson’s Fluff Brew by @chriscalledmesweetie​ Mrs Hudson turns to magic and angelic assistance to knock her idiot tenants’ hearts together.

Jam by @jrow​ John woos Sherlock with every bit of ostentatious intention a man can manage. He hasn’t reckoned with Sherlock’s oblivious refusal to believe the evidence of his own senses.

after hours by @simplyclockwork​ John is inconveniently oversupplied with professional scruples, even after Sherlock’s not his patient anymore. Sherlock isn’t having it, or rather, he’s not having not getting it.

Big Ben by 72 reasons (@onesmallfamily​) Soon after John moves in to 221B, Sherlock has to retreat very frequently to a bolthole to try to keep his desires under rigid control. He fails. That’s a good thing.

@podfixx[Podfic] The Zebra Sheets: @agrlsname​‘s fic was finished in 2017, but as of Feb. 2022 we have a delicious podfic of it. Incredibly erotic buildup, like listening to the Bolero

About Time by @annecumberbatch​ “I’m dead, aren’t I. I overdosed and died, and this is the chaos of the afterlife.” A knockout opening, from the stinking doss-house to two Sherlock Holmeses meeting in 221B. Fantastic fic.

PRESENTS    A Periodic Tales Special by 7PercentSolution (@7-percent​) Little boy and grown man, Sherlock struggles to compile a reliable definition of a present, and to deploy it “appropriately.” Indescribably involving.

Again by @discordantwords​ It was putatively an Advent fic. Instead it unceremoniously bashed through my ribcage and ripped my heart out 23 times before the gloriously happy Ch. 24

The Necessity by @jobooksncoffee​ From the first astonishing kiss to the last concise text this fic is a delight and a winter-warming consolation. Two idiots in love thinking the other is ready to walk out …

𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝 by stopthat: There are many stories that should be podfics. This is one. That’s all I can say–sorry

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msdisdain

for fuck’s sake @totallysilvergirl I had BASICALLY LEFT THIS FANDOM and now I am subscribed to SO MANY UNFINISHED FICS and it is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT YOUR FAULT

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Lotsa Fics Friday, 25 March: WIPs only

More brilliant fics in progress at the moment. All but one of these are new since my last WIP rec post.

Next up: recently completed multi-chapter fics, for the wip-wary. After that, one-shots.

Thanks for reblogging!

Baskerville Heights  by @ettuinarcadia: Remember that first time you read seriously absorbing, dark, 19th-century fiction? And you couldn’t stop reading, so you read under the covers with a flashlight? That. This. Chapters so far: 5. Posting schedule: brisk

Crime Scene Haiku by @7-percent: When John returns with Rosie to Baker Street, he turns to writing haiku again, “the habit of counting syllables and honing your words.” Heavenly follow up to Exposition. Chapters so far: 3. Posting: frequent

Impossible Things by @momma2boys: Fantastic Sherlock and Enola Holmes crossover. Deaf Sherlock, Reichenbach return, and “Sherlock was done lying to John Watson.” This commitment to treat John differently from the rest of the world–to be candid with him, trust him, and always give him a full deck to play with–is something I crave in fic and in the series. 15 ch. so far. Part 5 of The Esme Variations   Posting: frequent

After Five Years He Still Grieves by AlwaysJohn: This has already shredded my heart in the most masterful fashion. Sherlock’s been gone for five years, and grief is killing John, “his gradual slide into a melancholy so profound that he had no energy to fight.” Chapters so far: 6/12. Posting schedule: brisk

Whirlwind by @discordantwordsTwister AU. No further teasers required. 6 ch. so far. Posting schedule: “Oh, reason not the need,” it’s DW!

This Is The Wonder That’s Keeping The Stars Apart by @ettuinarcadia: This fic. This fic. Author describes this as “rising from the ashes,” but I see only the ashes of her readers after combustion. Chapters so far: 25. Posting schedule: dunno, don’t care, I’m here for this whenever it’s here for us.   

Indefinite Lines by @arwamachine: “… Sherlock and John—their lives weaving together, inclined towards one another, moving closer and closer to something greater than themselves.” Chapters so far: 26/62. Posting: every Sunday

The Killing Principle by @vulpesmellifera: “Sherlock Holmes is the man I left behind. He was a pompous, self-important, unsociable blowhard who cared little for the thoughts and feelings of others. He was only out to prove he was clever. William Vernet is not that man, but both are me.” Chapters so far: 36/44. Posting: every Friday

I Choose You by @fawnhickory: Part 3 of A Good Man and an Angry Man. “Sherlock, I’m sorry I didn’t choose you all those other times. I know I don’t deserve the chance now. But now, and for all the rest of the time that you’ll have me, I choose you.” Chapters so far: 5. Posting schedule: brisk

One reminder:

The Scapegoat by AStudyInAlgedonics  (@ohmrshudsontookmyskull​): The S3 fixit I was craving. A John who has not forgiven and does not want to forgive Mary. A Sherlock admitting the “surgical shot” story was concocted to keep Mary from going ballistic. A Sherlock acknowledging that a trauma surgeon would know that story was nonsense. 7 ch. so far. Posting schedule: frequent :)

and one non-Sherlock bonus:

KING by weneedtotalkaboutsherlock (Paradoxe1914): Not Sherlock! But it’s medieval! and it’s @weneedtotalkaboutfic! You know what to do. Fall in love with Check Please through the medieval-tinted lenses of a lively, lovely writer. Chapters so far: 5/10. Posting: every Friday.      

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momma2boys

So honored to be included in a list that includes two of my favs, you know, the ones that make you squeal when you get the update notice; The Killing Principle and Indefinite Lines.

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reblogged

While waiting for TLD, I’ve been soothing my frayed nerves by working on my facsimile letters, journals and newspaper articles for my WIP Baskerville Heights:

Dr Michael Stamford accepts a position in Dartmoor, where his landlord is the gloomy and misanthropic Sherlock Holmes, master of Baskerville Heights. The house and its master seem to be haunted by a mysterious ghost called John. An AU retelling in epistolary form of Wuthering Heights crossed with The Hound of the Baskervilles.

Well, there is great tailwagging in silverville, that’s all this hound can say. Epistolary. Period. And @ettuinarcadia

Starting over is a great thing for a reader!

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msdisdain

whaaaaaaaat

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reblogged

Lotsa MORE fics Saturday: recently completed multi-chapters, for the wip-wary

Yesterday I recced 12 WIPs, today it’s 11 (whoops) multi-chapters that were completed in 2022, with just one bit of cheating.

Thanks for reblogging! Share the love.

Accidental Magic by @calaisreno​ (8 chapter) ciphers, bed-sharing, and books, oh my. Gently and ineluctably, Sherlock wins John. Delicious.

Mrs. Hudson’s Fluff Brew by @chriscalledmesweetie​ Mrs Hudson turns to magic and angelic assistance to knock her idiot tenants’ hearts together.

Jam by @jrow​ John woos Sherlock with every bit of ostentatious intention a man can manage. He hasn’t reckoned with Sherlock’s oblivious refusal to believe the evidence of his own senses.

after hours by @simplyclockwork​ John is inconveniently oversupplied with professional scruples, even after Sherlock’s not his patient anymore. Sherlock isn’t having it, or rather, he’s not having not getting it.

Big Ben by 72 reasons (@onesmallfamily​) Soon after John moves in to 221B, Sherlock has to retreat very frequently to a bolthole to try to keep his desires under rigid control. He fails. That’s a good thing.

@podfixx[Podfic] The Zebra Sheets: @agrlsname​‘s fic was finished in 2014, but as of Feb. 2022 we have a delicious podfic of it. Incredibly erotic buildup, like listening to the Bolero

About Time by @annecumberbatch​ “I’m dead, aren’t I. I overdosed and died, and this is the chaos of the afterlife.” A knockout opening, from the stinking doss-house to two Sherlock Holmeses meeting in 221B. Fantastic fic.

PRESENTS    A Periodic Tales Special by 7PercentSolution (@7-percent​) Little boy and grown man, Sherlock struggles to compile a reliable definition of a present, and to deploy it “appropriately.” Indescribably involving.

Again by @discordantwords​ It was putatively an Advent fic. Instead it unceremoniously bashed through my ribcage and ripped my heart out 23 times before the gloriously happy Ch. 24

The Necessity by @jobooksncoffee​ From the first astonishing kiss to the last concise text this fic is a delight and a winter-warming consolation. Two idiots in love thinking the other is ready to walk out …

𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝 by stopthat: There are many stories that should be podfics. This is one. That’s all I can say–sorry

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agrlsname

Thank you so much for including me and Podders on the list! Although if I’d finished The Zebra Sheets in 2014 it would’ve been quite a feat, since I didn’t come into the fandom until 2017…! I published it a year ago.

@agrlsname​ I am full of typos and math errors today! Perhaps I should hit the pause button, have a drink, and do some better editing.

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reblogged

Fluffbruary, Day 18: Direct (a drabble)

@fluffbruary, I have failed you: I bailed on the prompts and used @notjustamumj‘s prompt “breakfast” instead.

*

“Did you ever think that couples who ate in silence were … weird?”
“Weird?”
“Estranged. Bored. Sad.”
“I thought most couples were.”
“We aren’t.”
“We aren’t most people.”
“But we’re quiet over meals.”
“We’re not. We’re communicating the whole time.”
“What?”
“Eye contact. We speak without talking.”
“Ohhh-kay. You do stare at me, a lot.”
“Who wouldn’t? Besides, you stare too.”
“Obviously. You’re mouth-watering.”
“And we’re always touching, somewhere. That’s communication.”
“Fair enough.”
“And we interpret non-verbal sounds.”
“What are my non-verbal sounds telling you right now?”
“‘I want you back in bed, Sherlock, right after breakfast.’”
“Right you are.”

*

Solace and Joy on AO3 is  this fluffy collection of comfort snacks––ficlets,       drabbles,  and 221B’s––to show how the boys see each other. Established     relationship. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36756394/chapters/92705296

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disfictional

6 +1 Fics That Defined My 2021

In a year filled with great stories, 6 really shaped my narrative! Thanks to the brilliant authors who put the blood, sweat, ink, and tears into them. 

To Stand Before the Storm by @arwamachine (E, 132k, completed July 2021) 

Summary: Somebody has been killing sheep on an uninhabited island just off the western coast of Ireland, and Sherlock—of course—can’t resist the call to investigate. As a soon-to-be-divorced John and a recently-not-dead Sherlock unravel the mystery of the murdered sheep, they find that they may be forced to confront unspoken sentiments that have lingered between the two them for some time—that is, if they don’t fall victim to the dangers of the island first.

How this fic left its mark on my 2021: This story makes me think of spring, and peaceful solitude, and moments by the water. Each Monday, I rode my bike down to the local park on my lunch break, unpacked my picnic lunch, put in my headphones, pressed play on Spotify’s Instrumental Celtic Folk playlist, and read the newest To Stand Before the Storm update. This fic was an escape when I needed one- it’s the kind of harrowing angst that somehow still manages to be comforting simply because arwamachine wrote it. When this fic was completed, I moved far away, so the two unforgettable settings of where I experienced this fic and Blasket Island, where the story takes place, will forever be connected in my mind.  

The Case of the Green Gown by splix, read by @podfixx (E, 209k, 27 hrs, original fic completed 2016, podfic completed June 2021)

Summary: “…Watson had at that time deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I can recall in our association. I was alone.” -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier

How this fic left its mark on my 2021: This fic is a fandom classic that had somehow eluded me until this year. But thanks to Podfixx’s brilliant recording that came out this summer, I finally saw (or, rather, heard) the light. The Case of the Green Gown is a masterclass in storytelling, and if I’m not the last one to have read it, I recommend you go read or listen to it as soon as possible. I binge-listened to this story in one (ONE) weekend when I was dog sitting for a friend- and this beast of a podfic is 27 gripping hours of content. Although the poor dog didn’t know it, instead of walking through the woods, we were both watching the layered case unfold before us, partaking in a murderous high society party. The dog didn’t seem to mind. 

Ride On by @totallysilvergirl (E, 34k, completed September 2021)

Summary: After the disastrous reveal at the Landmark, John tells Sherlock there can be no excuse for what he’s done, and no forgiveness. Sherlock leaves London and starts a new life, and not even the British Government knows where. It’s up to John to track him down and make things right, with a trip around the world and a clue only John would recognize.

How this fic left its mark on my 2021: What can I say– I’m a sucker for travel fics with Irish settings, apparently. This fic introduced me to three things I can’t believe I didn’t know about before: the Getting to Know Johnlock Writers Fic Collection, some awesome Irish music, and the word artist that is @totallysilvergirl​. I’ve been making my way through the comprehensive list of this author’s stories ever since! 

You Should Have Changed Course Long Ago by msdisdain, read by @podfixx (E, 33k, 4 hrs, original fic completed 2016, podfic completed December 2021)

Summary: John realizes too late what has been in his heart all along, and flees London. But can he ever truly leave Sherlock behind?

How this fic left its mark on my 2021: It wouldn’t be autumn without a good cry on the train, would it? Podfixx’s retelling of this masterpiece of an epistolary fix-it fic had tears threatening to stream down my cheeks on two different modes of transportation through the city–  train and bus. This fic left a mark because it inspired me to start journaling again, owing to John’s use of his blog as a personal journal in this story (fics can actually be free therapy, thank you very much). Again, this fic eluded me when it was published in 2016, but thanks to Podfixx, I could experience it audibly in 2021!

From a Drop of Water by @victorianpining (M, 96k, completed December 2021)

Summary: “It was simply my conjecture of what a future world might look like and how you and I might fit inside it. From a drop of water a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara.”

Sherlock is certain that James Moriarty is dead and he already has a theory for the person behind his apparent return. Considering Sherlock was overdosing at the time, it’s only to be expected that he overlooked a few details in coming to his conclusions.

John meanwhile has moved back in with Mary after reconciling with her at Christmas, but finds himself agonising over why Sherlock would have thrown away everything he cares about to keep her safe. Could Sherlock be in love?

A reimagining of Series 4 picking up from the end of The Abominable Bride.

How this fic left its mark on my 2021: Since 2017, I’d forgotten what it felt like to await new BBC Sherlock content. This fic gave me that rush again. An elegant weaving of analysis and research and storytelling, FADOW reads like it came right off the BBC screen. Don’t forget to listen to the playlists, too. 

Solstice by @calaisreno (T, 7k, completed December 2020)

Summary: It feels like the onset of winter, so gradual that you wake up one day and see frost decorating the windows and wonder when it suddenly became so cold… He lost John slowly, without either of them deciding that’s what would happen. The way to come back together must be so gradual that it’s almost imperceptible.

How this fic left its mark on my 2021: The moment I finished this fic, it struck midnight on the winter solstice, so it felt like the universe had led me there. I was moved by its achingly deep speculations on the passage of time and relationships. The author left me chewing on this line: “Maybe this is just the ebb and flow of life: intense intimacy followed by annual Christmas letters.”

And for my +1, the fic that defined my summer as I wrote it: Here We Go Again

It was a Mamma Mia! BBC Sherlock fusion, and my first multi-chapter fic! I’ve never had so much fun writing something, jamming to ABBA on repeat as I typed. 

Summary: Ransacking some old trunks, Rosie Watson finds her father’s old journal filled with remnants of a blog he used to keep about his association with Sherlock Holmes. In an attempt to meet the man who had a profound impact on her early years, Rosie invites the long-estranged detective to her wedding under false pretenses.

Happy New Year, everyone! 

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msdisdain

well, this made my day.

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msdisdain

(Gloriously beautiful art commissioned from @willietheplaidjacket, based on @roquentine19’s favorite picture of BC. And then I wrote a ficlet based on it for this month’s @hiatustory prompt, bed sharing.)

~

He had been walking the shadowed streets of Edinburgh for hours, and the problem remained unsolved:

He was a coward.

It had been the perfect accidental setup. Their train had been severely delayed, and they’d arrived at the hotel far past their guaranteed reservation time. The only room left contained one queen bed. They’d taken it, of course; what choice did they have? It’s not as if they hadn’t done it before. Well, Before. Which was the problem. Everything had been Before, and now it was After, and there had never been a During.

Sherlock desperately wanted a During with John, and sometimes he thought maybe John wanted it too. There had been several moments over the last few months where he thought John was about to say Something, but there was always an interruption in the form of Rosie or Mrs. Hudson or a text from Lestrade, and the moments had all passed. But there was no couch or chair in their tiny hotel room, and barely any floor space, so they’d have no choice but to share the bed and maybe this thing that Sherlock so desperately wanted might…happen.

So naturally when John had gone into the shower, Sherlock had thrown on the Belstaff and fled.

Where’d you go?

Needed a walk. Don’t wait up. –SH

Then Sherlock had walked, and walked, and walked. He’d stopped at one point and had two fingers of Scotch in a pub, and then he’d walked some more. He was cold and he was tired and he was lonely and he was so, so afraid. He was afraid of going back to the room and he was afraid of staying away; he was afraid of John finding out and afraid of holding this secret close to his chest forever.

He was afraid that John would decide Rosie needed a mother, or that Sherlock was unfit to be in Rosie’s life. He was afraid that now that he’d realized how lonely he was, he would never be anything else.

He wasn’t used to being afraid, but everything having to do with John Watson was a rare exception to the way he lived the rest of his life.

He took a deep breath, turned the key in the lock, and pushed open the hotel room door. He would use the bathroom, put on his pajamas, and just…get into the bed.

The room was dimly lit by both the bedside lamp John had obviously left on for him and the television that was quietly displaying the end of Rear Window, and John was asleep. His head was at the foot of the bed–wanted to be closer to the screen without having to sit in the desk chair–and he was sprawled out on his back–fell asleep watching the movie on his stomach; flipped over to his customary sleeping position sometime after. Sherlock found himself crossing not to the bathroom as he’d intended, but directly to the bed, where he stared down at the wonder that was John Watson.

Sherlock relished the rare chance to look his fill unnoticed. John was always beautiful to him, but in sleep, with his edges softened and his cares laid aside, he was at once the entire world and the only thing Sherlock had ever truly wanted. It was so easy to imagine crawling in beside him and curling up with his head on John’s good shoulder, letting their breathing patterns syncopate as they slept. It was equally easy to imagine waking John with his mouth, either with a gentle kiss on the lips or by tugging down his pants and–

John stretched in his sleep, one hand coming up behind his head, and as the muscles in his bicep shifted, Sherlock swallowed hard. He’d spent hours, days, years cataloging everything those hands could do, and twice that time fantasizing about the things he wanted them to do. He let out a quiet sigh, briefly letting his eyes fall shut as he thought about the way John’s hands might feel on his skin.

When he opened them again, John was gazing up at him.

It was too late to school the emotions away from his face, and he knew that everything he felt was plainly visible for John to see. He was so tired of hiding, so tired of running. John would see, and John would react, and at least then Sherlock would finally know. He was so wrapped up in this revelation that it took him a long moment to see that John, too, was done hiding.

And the world, at last, fell away.

~

I love when this goes around. I mean, my god, LOOK at that art.

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