yo yo yo yo!! would you pretty please mind writing something involving wet dreams or dry humping bc honestly that's my shit

Fuck, man, me too… This is so self indulgent lmao, enjoy!

Dan sat on a lumpy hotel mattress beside a sleeping Phil, illuminated only by the bluish glow of his laptop. He’d developed pretty severe insomnia with the tour, and typically had to waste time on tumblr or twitter for a few hours before he could get to sleep. Phil, on the other hand, had been sleeping in every spare moment he had. Dan was baffled by it–how could he sleep in a different bed each night? It was sheer madness.

He had one earbud in now, editing their Undertale video, and was so entranced by his work that he almost didn’t notice that Phil was shifting around until a clear, high whimper filled the still air. Dan still didn’t pay him much mind, mumbling, “Can’t sleep?” It was only when he received no answer that he bothered to look, and he sucked in his breath at what he saw.

Phil’s dark hair contrasted even more with his pale skin in the faint light given off by the screen, and the patches of pink on his high cheekbones were thrown into high relief. He was lying on his side, face mashed into the flimsy pillow, his hips rutting ineffectually against thin sheets. A wave of arousal coursed through Dan’s body and he set his laptop aside, trying his best to slide away, quite desperate to escape to the loo for a wank.

He could understand why Phil’s body was reacting in this way–it’d been weeks since either of them had had a proper outlet for sexual energy. Unfortunately, just as he’d been about to move off the bed, Phil slung an arm over his hips, rolling closer til Dan could feel his insistent erection pressing against his thigh. Dan had to hold his breath to keep from moaning at that, raising his eyes skyward as if to say ‘why tonight? Why when we’re sharing a bed?’ Apparently god has a sense of humor.

Dan let his head fall back, shutting his eyes and trying his best to mentally escape the situation, but oh god Phil started dragging his hips slowly against Dan, letting out groans lower than Dan had ever heard his voice, making it very difficult to tune him out. Phil’s thrusts gradually sped up, and Dan pressed down firmly on his pulsing cock, praying to every entity he could think of that Phil would stop, when suddenly… he did.

There were a few moments of blessed silence before Phil’s voice, slightly creaky from sleep, whispered, “Dan? Are you awake?” Dan took a steadying breath, carefully withdrawing his hand from his cock and tilting his hips strategically so Phil wouldn’t see, before replying, “Yeah, I’m awake.” Dan winced when the unforgivingly bright lamp clicked on, revealing an extremely sheepish-looking Phil.

“Hi.” Dan almost laughed at the would-be casual greeting, but his suppressed smile ended up looking more like a grimace. “I’m so sorry, it’s just been over a month since I’ve had time to…” he gestured, trailing off into mortified silence.

“It’s um… It’s okay, I didn’t mind,” Dan said falteringly, biting his lip. Phil looked apprehensive.

“You… didn’t mind?” he asked incredulously.

Dan huffed a quiet laugh. “Well, I mean, not really… I just…” Dan sighed, blowing his fringe out of his face. “Look, can I give you a hand so we can get back to sleep, or are you just going to keep giving me that kicked puppy look?”

Defensiveness flashed across Phil’s face just for a moment before it was replaced with confusion. “Give me a hand?”

“Yeah… Like, a blowjob, or jerk you off or something… Platonically of course.”

“A platonic blowjob,” Phil repeated, sounding rather dubious.

“Or you can keep being insufferable and enjoy the company of your right hand,” Dan snapped irritably.

“No, wait, I didn’t say no. I’d have to be pretty dense to turn down a blowjob in favor of a wank.”

“Agreed,” Dan said, looking somewhat mollified. He wasted no time in tugging off and tossing aside Phil’s Star Wars pajamas, maneuvering til he was between Phil’s legs, inches away from his cock.

“I said a blowjob, not a stare-down,” Phil teased, though his voice hitched tellingly. Dan leaned down and bit his inner thigh as a mild reproof before flicking his tongue against his frenulum. The broken sound Phil let out was reward enough and Dan smirked before engulfing his cock in the wet heat of his mouth, sucking with enough enthusiasm to make up for his sloppy technique. Phil, already close from the dream, was moaning and thrusting shallowly up. Dan shuddered, grinding down against the mattress, relieved to finally have some attention on his cock.

Dan reached the edge before Phil, spilling into his boxers with unrestrained groans around Phil’s length. The vibrations pushed him over the edge as well, and he spilled down Dan’s throat with a shout, fingers tangling in Dan’s hair and tugging relentlessly. After swallowing the last of Phil’s release, Dan pried his fingers from his hair with a soft, “Ow…” before collapsing beside him on the bed.

He grimaced at the sticky mess in his pants and stood, stripping them off and dropping them next to his luggage. “That’d better be the last time you hump me in your sleep, or we’re getting separate rooms.”

“If the results are always that pleasant, I’m afraid I can’t make that promise,” Phil replied cheekily.

I got tired of doing 2009 Phan, so have some 2016 you horny fuckers.

~Milo~

Hc idea (sorry if you've already been asked this) Dan and Phil getting horny at the cinema and Dan rides Phil in the back row of seats, (daddy kink if you can work it in)

it’s more of a hc than my usual ficlet mo but like also i haven’t slept in 30 hrs l e t s g o

- dan and phil intentionally going to see a movie in the middle of the day on a rainy tuesday – less of a chance that anyone else will be there to recognize them.

- giggling like teenagers as they pay, bumping shoulders and stealing kisses and not even being embarrassed when the unimpressed teenaged cashier just glowers at them and takes the notes from phil’s extended hand.

- dan ushering phil into the back of the theatre, pulling him into one of the seats in the back and to the side of the main entrance, hidden in the shadows. only. a dozen or so more people file into the theatre by the time the lights go down. dan and phil lean over into each other every time someone moves. giggling breathlessly into each other’s faces as they hide themselves from the possibility of recognition. it’s been so long since they had been able to something normal, and both are doing their best to keep the afternoon inconspicuous.

- they whisper all throughout the previews, earning a few sour looks but not much else. dan turns his attention forward once the screen fades into the opening production sequence, and phil is honestly paying more attention to dan than he is to the screen.

- dan had indulged phil’s request to watch a thriller, which means that his hand clamped hard onto phil’s knee, clutching hard at the really intense moments. phil had one hand wrapped around dan’s hips, which he subconsciously began to skate up and under dan’s shirt, splaying his fingers across the hot skin of dan’s stomach. dan’s breath hitched, either from the touch or the gunshots onscreen phil didn’t know.

- phil’s hand starts creeping into dan’s waistband before long, and he leans his head innocently enough onto dan’s shoulder, but then attaches his lips to the warm skin there…

- dan eventually starts paying attention, his jaw dropping on a gasp as phil’s teeth pull at the skin of his neck, his hand rubbing dan’s hardening cock through his jeans. dan starts pressing up into phil’s touch, keening low in his throat.

- a loud explosion form onscreen startles the both of them and dan just whines when phil bites harder at his neck. “please,” he breathes, rocking his hips up. phil nods and his hands slip into dan’s boxers to wrap around his cock.

- “please, daddy,” dan groans out, his voice muffled by his own hand. phil growled low in his throat, pulling dan into his lap. both of their hearts stop as the plushy cinema chairs creak loudly, but no one turns to look.

- phil pulls dan’s pants and boxers down just enough to expose his bum, sucking on his own fingers before sliding them into dan. dan gasps and bucks, his thighs trembling with the effort of keeping himself suspended over phil’s lap.

- he sinks down as soon as phil is ready, bottoming out with a choked-off whine. phil’s breath is heavy in dan’s ear, letting him know just how much phil is enjoying this too.

- the swelling music from the movie is thankfully enough to cover the slide of skin on skin, dan’s keens and phil’s grunts as they move quickly and skillfully. any couple that had been together as long as they had and had sex as oftes was bound to know all of the secrets of getting each other off quickly.

- “daddy, daddy please,” dan whined, and phil reached down to wrap his hand around dan’s leaking cock. “please what?” he growled back, and dan’s entire body shuddered. “please make me cum, daddy,” dan eventually managed to whisper. “good boy,” phil hummed, his hand and cock working in tandem to bring dan over the edge.

- dan came with a muffled moan and a long sigh, his hips continuing to work back onto phil until he felt the familiar stiffening, then relaxing, as phil came inside of him.

- the credits started rolling and dan scrambled back into his own seat, rearranging his clothes into some form of decent. they ducked out of the cinema quickly and quietly, their fingers laced together as they exited the warm building into the light rain and fading sun.

- “that was,” phil said, leaning in close to whisper directly into dan’s ear “one of the hottest things we’ve ever done. dan, with his and phil’s cum drying in his boxers, could only agree.

~griffin

I really like aus where they are tumblr friends or they sends text to eachother, so I was thinking. Dan and Phil being tumblr friends but they don't know they already know eachother in real life, and they always talk on tumblr about kinks and about the things they would do to 'that cute guy in my class', and then they find out and 🕵🕵🕵

can we appreciate the tumblr usernames i gave them pls n ty

💕It started with an anon message to his blog. There’s this guy in my class and I would kill to have him pinned beneath me. He’s got such an innocent look yet he’s always making dirty jokes and he acts so confident all I can think about is having him fall apart under me. ughhhhhhh

💕Dan had chuckled at it replying with: You wanna talk about cute boys who are secretly dirty? There’s this one boy in my class who I know could dominate the hell out of anyone, but he acts so fucking innocent. I mean he doesn’t even swear. I just want to see him when he snaps.

💕The anon continued to rant about their crush until he decided t spare Dan’s followers and move to messaging Dan. The two became fast friends, deciding on a system of updating each other on their crushes. They’d also message each other kinky fantasies about said crushes.

💕One day Dan was in the middle of messaging @ amazinglykinky (the crush boi) about the annoying way his crush had looked so terribly charming in science today, when he was bumped into from behind and dropped his phone.

💕"Oh! I’m sorry! I wasn’t paying attention, god I’m so clumsy,“ Someone rambled and knelt down to pick up Dan’s phone. It was Dan’s crush who had knocked into him. The boy with the raven hair, blue eyes that you could positively get lost in, and ass that was crafted by the gods.

💕Dan froze when he saw the boy’s eyes glued to his phone screen. Did he write something particularly embarrassing? He tried to remember. He reached to get his phone, when the pretty boy spoke. “You’re danisnotasexualdeviant?“he asked, jaw dropping a little.

💕Dan swallowed, “Please don’t tell anyone I run a porn blog, shit, that’s so embarrassing, please can we just-” “I’m amazinglykinky.” the boy spoke, looking up. Dan couldn’t believe his ears. When he did process it he couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the irony. “Oh my god, hi.” He spoke.

💕They walked to their next classes together and finally Phil asked,bumping shoulders with Dan, “So who is your crush?”  Dan froze, blush creeping onto his face. He looked away and Phil smiled, “Who?!” Dan rolled his eyes, “Who’s yours?” he countered.

💕All of a sudden, Dan was against a wall. “As if you don’t know.” He breathed, and Dan could feel his breath on his lips. He properly whimpered. Phil chuckled- low and sexy. “I knew it. You’re so submissive aren’t you, pretty boy?” he asked, trailing a finger down Dan’s cheek.

💕 Dan couldn’t help but keen into his touch, mewling softly. Phil chuckled again, taking Dan’s hand, “You mind skipping with me, baby?” he asked softly, eyebrow perked. Dan let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in and lightly shook his head no- he didn’t mind. Phil led him away by the hand.

💕They ended up in the teacher’s bathroom, door locked. No one really came to this part of the campus anyway. “It’s convenient,” Phil mumbled, smirking as he pulled away from their kiss. “I know all your sexual fantasies.” With that said, he attached his lips to Dan’s neck- his weakness. Dan whimpered and rolled his hips forward on instinct. Phil chuckled again, and Dan was beginning to really love the sound. “Patience baby.”

💕Phil had left a trail of hickeys down Dan’s neck and chest- a few buttons ripped from his school shirt. He pinned Dan’s wrists to the wall behind them as he worked Dan’s sensitive nipples. Dan was glad he stopped when he did, because he was sure he could’ve come from just that.

💕Phil stepped back to unbutton his own shirt and shrug it off, Dan catching his breath, trying not to be too gone so soon. Phil then pulled his own slacks off, tossing them aside. He pushed his thigh between Dan’s legs, smirking at the soft whimper. “Good boy, so responsive.” He mumbled, trailing a finger over his hickey trail. Dan shuddered under the light touches. Finally, Phil pulled Dan’s own slacks, tossing them aside.

💕"I assume you don’t have convenient lube stashed away?“ Dan asked, breathlessly. Phil shook his head, kissing Dan again. He rolled his hips into Dan’s grunting under his breath. “This’ll have to do princess, that okay?” Dan nodded, breathing out a “F-fuck yes.”

💕Phil rolled his hips into Dan’s at a set pace, kissing him lightly over the neck. “Such a good boy for me, you gonna come like this now so I can take you home and fuck you like I want to?” Phil breathed against Dan’s skin. “I’ll fuck you nice and hard, baby, just like all those fantasies you had about me. I’ll make you come over and over, until you pass out. You’ll feel so good, kitten.”

💕Dan whimpered, bucking up against Phil, he was so hard- from Phil’s words, his kisses, feeling him in his boxers- he wanted Phil to take him home and pound him into the mattress. With Phil whispering dirty things in Dan’s ear, Dan came, shouting Phil’s name.

💕Phil came soon after, kissing Dan and pulling away to groan as he came. He kissed Dan softly. “Round two at my place, baby?”