WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

white people let their white children do whatever they want even in public spaces

Oh I thought maybe like free for the taking

that’s amazing

The USA are a hellscape

this whole fucking post reads like satire but its not

If that’s not enough to show the USA is an active dystopian nightmare idk what is

Hairdresser: We’re going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.

Hairdresser: pretty simple

Me: this is chemistry

Hairdresser: yeah, but people don’t like when we talk that way

Hairdresser: so you’re a mortician?

Me: apprentice

Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?

Me: I didn’t know that was a thing

Hairdresser: I think it’s due to the preserving qualities? But I don’t think that’s right.

Me: It’s not just a preservative, it’s also a disinfectant ‘cause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. It’s also a dehydrator. 

Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?

Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs

Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen? 

Me: yeah, I’m going to have so much cancer

Hairdresser: so you’re going natural to work at a funeral home?

Me: yeah

Hairdresser: while still in school?

Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh … experience with cases

Hairdresser: you can just say bodies it’s fine 

Me: oh thank god

Five Minutes Later

Me: yeah so we don’t do autopsies it’s one of my pet peeves

Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while you’re embalming them?

Me: there’s a huge difference between a living body and a dead one

second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious

Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us

Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that

your hair is going to look incredible

apparently, I joined this tumblr place at 11/30/2013 11:52:54 AM.

My Grandfather Came To This Country With Nothing But His Juicy Couture Sweatpants And The Perfect Ass To Fill Those Things Out

I’m begging y’all…. please take this woman’s soundboard away from her

Wtf the Apple Store doesn’t even sell fruit

I. AM. SCREAMING.

THIS IS SO FUNNY.

rebagel if the flu shot made you gay

fuck it up Cathleen!!!!!!!

doctors in tweets be like

not to glorify the early years tumblr hellscape but this site was infinitely better when you could block anon hate and then immediately find out who was sending it by checking your blocklist and i for one propose that we bring that back. no rights for cowards.

Source: [x]

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dude honestly...............radioactive.....radioactive....

I feel like someone in japan in the 1980s perfectly predicted the kind of thing tumblr would love in 2018

Visual representation of feeling yourself

That was next level GAY

The person from Japan in the 1980’s:

THAT PART.