Positive
I decided to re-do the first two parts of the Positive series to one part, I hope you like it.
You were no longer Mrs. Styles.
It had happened so fast; him confessing that he had been unfaithful, to the endless fights and, finally, the divorce. Though, telling your three-year-old daughter was the hardest part and it broke the both of you to see her with tears in her eyes, her bottom lip wobbling, promising to be a good girl as long as you stayed a family.
“Can we talk?” He asked, bringing you back from your thoughts, “Darcy is taking a nap.”
“Yes,” you sniffled, realising the tears in your eyes.
You laid the, now, signed divorce papers down on the table, turning around to face him. He looked pale, eyes dull from the endless fights. He was tired, but so was you.
“Can we try to discuss things without fighting, please?” He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, knowing fully well how it will end.
You had been fighting for a week now, not getting closer to any solution as he would storm out of the house, leaving you behind, crying, and come home the next morning.
“It isn’t fair,” he started, “It isn’t fair that I can’t have Darcy every other week.”
“Nothing in this life is fair, Harry. You’ve proven me that. I need her here with me. She is the only thing I got left and I’m not letting you take her away from me as well.”
“I need her, too. She is my daughter, too. Stop being so damn selfish. She is the only thing I’ve left as well,” he hissed, the anger inside him boiling up.
“Don’t you dare call me selfish, Harry,” you hissed back at him, “You ruined this family, not me. You slept with that other woman, Harry, not me. You’ve no right to call me selfish.”
You slammed the bedroom door behind you, having left the living room in tears with Harry’s eyes following you, his hands in his hair in frustration.
You had lost faith. The promises you once made no longer existed.
They were all broken and it broke you as well.
“Mamma,” a little voice spoke. You quickly opened the door, letting Darcy in. Her hair was messy after her afternoon nap, her stuffed elephant was tucked under her small arm, as she yawned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her little hand.
“Hey, baby,” you smiled, “Was it a nice nap?”
You picked her up and adjusted her on your hip, placing a kiss to your daughter’s forehead.
“Yes,” she lisped, rubbing her tired eyes with her hand, “Mamma, sad?” She looked at you with her big brown, and sparkling, eyes, touching your warm cheeks with her small hands as a concerned expression spread across her face.
“Mumma is a little bit sad, sweetheart, but I’m okay now,” you promised, pressing a kiss to her rosy cheek, “I love you, baby,” you said.
You kissed her cheek, once again, and sat her down as she started to squirm in your arms, and as soon as her little legs touched the ground, she walked over to the nightstand.
“Mamma, look,” she squealed, standing on the tip of her toes as she reached for a white and purple stick, “Mamma, it’s purple,” she giggled, loving the purple colour. Your eyes widened as soon as you saw what she was reaching for on the nightstand, “Honey, give it to Mamma, please,” you begged.
“No, Daddy see,” she squealed in excitement, running out of the bedroom, leaving her stuffed elephant behind.
You quickly grabbed the elephant from the floor, hurrying after her, trying to catch her before she reached Harry, but she had already reached him.
“Daddy, it’s purple,” she giggled as she climbed onto his lap to show him the purple stick, she was holding.
Harry smiled at her excitement, a grin on his face as he gently took the purple stick from her little hand to get a closer look on the item she had shown him.
His grin on his face soon disappeared and his stomach tightened as he saw what it was.
He looked up as you rounded the corner to the living room, his eyes on yours, and he knew.
Harry looked down at your, smiling, three-year-old, “Where did you get this from, honey?”
“Bedroom, daddy,” she giggled and slid off his lap, walking to her play area where she picked up her favorite doll to play with.
Harry’s eyes darted up to look at you, his throat dry as he spoke, “You’re pregnant?”
“Yes,” you answered quietly, suddenly starting to feel a little uncomfortable.
“And you didn’t think I had the right to know?” His voice sounding deep and you could see the anger and the disappointment in his eyes.
You started to feel guilty for not telling him.
“I didn’t want you to know,” you whispered, immediately regretting it as the disappointment in his eyes disappeared.
“You didn’t want me to know,” he yelled, “You don’t think I’ve the right to know I’m going to be a father again? I’ve fucking every right to know,” he spit.
“Harry, please don’t yell,” you pleaded, “Please, Darce will hear you.”
The anger in his eyes was enough to tell you that right now, he didn’t care.
“Don’t yell? It’s a little god damn hard not to,” he yelled, “You’re being a selfish bitch and I can’t even look at you right now.”
He regretted the words as soon as they slipped out of his mouth but he was to caught up in the moment to even process, what he had just said.
Your sadness and guilt was with an instant turned into anger, “What did you just say?”
“Harry,” You hissed as he walked past you and into the kitchen, “Harry.”
You followed him and accidently knocked an old vase over.
“What the hell was that for?” He yelled.
“Stop yelling,” you screamed, “I can’t take this anymore, Harry.”
You paused for a second and you could feel his eyes burning into yours, “I didn’t want this to happen. I don’t want a child when you’re about to leave us. I don’t want this baby to grow up without its dad by its side,” you gestured, looking down at your stomach, “We can’t even have a conversation without yelling at each other, Harry. I’m tired and hurt,” you cried, “I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t bare the thought of telling you when you would be leaving the next day.”
It broke him. It broke him to see you in such a vulnerable state, knowing it was all his fault. His anger towards you disappeared, he couldn’t be angry with you. It wasn’t fair to blame his mistakes on you.
He was angry with himself. He had let it come this far; he had let this happened and he could see you were falling apart. He could see the hurt in your eyes and the guilt was eating him up. He regretted it, he regretted it so much. You were the love of his life. He couldn’t imagine a life without you and now he’d lost you. You were divorced and as much as he wanted you back, he knew that he couldn’t.
He couldn’t live with the guilt that he felt when he looked at you. You deserved someone who wouldn’t hurt you as he did. He wished he could be that person but he just couldn’t, not anymore. It was too late.
“I can’t do this. Not without you,” you cried in defeat. You felt helpless and you knew, you’d lost him, “I can’t do this, Harry. I can’t, not without you,” you repeated again, now sounding more broken than ever, “I love you so much but you hurt me, you hurt me so bad and it hurts so much.”
He could feel the tears in his eyes as he embraced you in his arms. You didn’t fight him; instead you melted into his arms, sobbing into the fabric of his shirt.
You weren’t ready to let him go.
“Shh, honey, shh. It will be ok, I promise,” he whispered, “I’ll always be here, no matter what,” he assured you, holding you tighter in his arms.
He could feel his heart break into pieces and for the first time, he didn’t know how it would be ok.