Endeavor: an attempt to achieve a goal.
Summary: Self indulgent ficlet with a contemplative, worrisome Endeavor.
Warnings: None! Pure, unadulterated fluff.
The three remaining Todoroki children all come to a sudden realization: they hadn't seen their father at home for quite some time. Everyday when they returned they find the house quiet. They knew their father worked long hours and was rarely home but often times when they were getting ready for the day, they would hear him leave. Now however they heard nothing when they were awake and nothing when they were asleep. The new dynamic at home was welcomed by the youngest of the three while the two eldest weren't sure what to make of it, despite the new peace they were worried for his safety and well-being.
Enji would find his way to your home everyday after work, he'd set his shoes aside while you helped him remove his jacket. No words would be spoken, afraid the sound of speech would shatter the intimate moment. He'd wander over to the recliner you had bought for him and sit down, a short glass of bourbon in hand, to contemplate. The time varies. He may sit in silence from ten minutes to an hour. He'd sit alone or pull you into his large lap when you passed by. Those were the moments he'd cry. Letting the emotions he bottled up release in a torrent of self-doubt. Asking questions you didn't have the answer to but helped explain away, your fingers combing through his crimson colored hair while he hid in the crook of your neck. Often how he wondered how much suffering he had to endure for sufficient recompense, what he had to do to prove he's changed and learned from his mistakes. What he had to swear to reconcile with the people he's hurt. That's all he wanted and the longer time went on the heavier the task weighed, you tried to share the burden but this was his to resolve.
Contemplative silence accompanied with your presence was calming, grounding. Holding you in his arms he didn't feel so alone, you relied on him and that made getting out of bed worth it. Your smile was the light of his life, your laughter the fuel to his fire, the way you looked at him in soft moments the reason he kept going.
The time varied but when he felt that he had recharged enough his attention is solely on you. You've been so attentive to his needs he can only repay in kind in his own awkward and unsure way. The first on his list is to always make sure you've eaten, your health one of his top priorities so he'll ask if you have. Offering to make a meal with you or take you out, if neither of you are in the mood to socialize takeout is ordered right to your doorstep. The next nightly step is asking how your day was, letting you unload your worries and stresses onto his more than capable shoulders. He doesn't want you to keep your emotions under lock and key, knowing full well how dangerous that can be. He's not as wise as he wishes but he'll be damned if he doesn't offer you advice and even help with whatever has you down. Work to familial matters and everything in between. He wants to he relied on, to be the rock and light in your life just as you are to his. He'd do everything for you if he could but he's aware that kind of relationship can turn toxic and he wants to avoid that if possible. Though he doesn't know if any relationship with him no matter the length will stay stable. No more toxicity, no dependency and no fights. The motto he lives by throughout your relationship until its second nature. Healthy, happy and secure.
Your home becomes as cold as the Arctic whenever Enji is around. His quirk a blessing and a curse. Even when its deactivated Hellflame produces an exorbitant amount of heat, heat that when he's trying to relax and wind down makes him unbearably uncomfortable. Solution? Crank that thermostat down as it could go. Compromise? Enji pays your electric bill and he keeps you warm with snuggling. Perfect compromise. It just works.
The Number One Hero is a walking furnace, a furnace that has no qualms about you using him as a bed. Its the least he can do for putting you through the cold for his sake. Your form resting against his while a thin blanket is draped across your bodies for privacies sake as an extra layer of insulation. His hand is large, fingers thick and calloused and barely used to administrating soft touches. He tries. Hand laying at the curve of your back, his fingertips brushing across your spine, your head laying on his broad chest. The moment is serene. The occasional activation of the air conditioner breaking the quietness of the room, the whirring of the blades drowned out by the thudding heartbeat directly underneath your ear. There was something unique about sleeping with a hero, the top ranking hero at that, that made the world feel different. Feel safe. The worries of the world and the villains all melted away.
Eventually the thumping of Enji's heart and the exhaustion of the day catches up with you, lulling you to sleep without your consent. You don't realize you've fallen asleep until you're in a dream, whatever blessed reprieve from the outside world taking control of your senses. Hands play with your hair and massage the knots out of your muscles so delicately, ghosts of touches placed on your skin while the your half waits to follow you to the Dreamland.
Sleep never comes to Enji easily, never has. Even when he pushed his body to the point of falling apart he'd lay awake, staring at the ceiling, and even witnessing the sunrise once or twice before he'd fall asleep. Never for long. An hour or two at the moment. That's not the case with you. The sleep cycle he's known the majority of his life gets turned on its head in your presence, in your arms he nods off before he can stop the encroaching slumber. Part of him welcomes it with open arms and the other, the ever alert hero, needs him to stay awake. He knows he's the target of many villains and needs to be vigilant to ensure your safety. His heart clenches in despair whenever his intrusive thoughts turn down the path of losing you. Getting caught in the crossfire or kidnapped to be used against him are two possibilities that do keep him up at night, thoughts swimming of what would happen if he lost you. His ultimate failure.
He doesn't notice you've woken up until your hands are on either side of his face, cupping his cheeks and your worried voice calling out his name. Snapped back to reality he always apologizes for waking you, never accepting that you simply needed water as an answer. You must've known and felt his worry in your sleep, his teeth grind together when he gets lost in his own thoughts.
"You won't let that happen, I'll never leave you", he's always stunned silent whenever you say such things. His firstborn, his wife, his other children, his family. You have so much trust in him to give him hope like that, he'd understand if you feared the relationship with him would have the same outcome but you don't. Day-after-day building him to be better and more than he was. His large arms scoop you up and hold you close, if he didn't fear what you'd think of him he'd let a handful of tears slip. He had never known happiness this unbridled, this pure before. It defeated him every way imaginable and he wanted more, the only thing granted to him unreservedly that he'd accept. Keeping you from the cold, saving you from the villains, letting you mould him, helping him reconcile with his remaining family..
He'd endeavor through it all with you.