My Story

In fifth grade I wrote an essay titled "I Hate Writing," and I've never stopped thinking about it.

The title was misleading. My actual point was that I really liked to write, but I hated being told what to write. I was always so mad that my teachers made me write based on prompts instead of just researching and writing about things I thought were interesting.

It's incredibly fucking funny to me that I'm now a freelancer. I despised being told what to write, but now I'm perfectly happy to write about requested topics. The difference is that now I have the power of refusal, and I also get paid.

The secret is to make them anyway btw. It'll help you learn more to be closer in skill level to the next idea.

i did this instead of writing

3 components of worldbuilding:

1. The author’s kinks

2. The author’s power fantasy

3. The author’s political agenda

Plot and logic optional

4. The author's formative trauma(s), unrecognized until after they hit post and then reread it for typos, only to blink in shock and say, "Oh. Oh. Oh fuck."

5. The author's personal grievances with other works in the same genre. (May relate to #3 but not always)

6: the author's rage at seeing a great idea executed like shit and going "i could menstruate a better text"

This is why I keep a notebook next to my bed!!!!!! Also why I have insomnia...

If you ever wonder why so many of my post are titled 'stories I'm too sleep deprived to write'. This is why

one time a professor asked me if i’d ever wanted to write anything “more important” than romance. and i said no. i was put on this earth to write about sad people kissing. and if another writer ever came up to me and said they wanted to write 400 pages containing nothing but a character baking a single loaf of bread each day, then i would tell them to do that. people don't write something because it's important. they write about something and that is what makes it important

@angelasscribbles @karahalloway @aussiegurl1234 @harleybeaumont @alj4890

reblog to save a liFE

Up to now, I have been drawing random generic suit jackets.

Never again.

cc: @petermorwood

oh you're in a horror film/book and your phone died/has no bars? how boring. I think phones in horror SHOULD work. they should ding only to have the protagonist check and find nothing. they should get calls from somebody you don't know but is still somehow in your contacts. google maps should lead you to one place, no matter what address you type in.

phones are such a big part of our daily lives, removing them from horror removes the horror from our experience. what if the horror felt like it could happen to you, right here, right now? what if it felt like it was already happening?

call 911 and something that is definitely not a person picks up.

call 911 and get an operator only for the call to become increasingly weirder and more sinister until you realize that whatever picked up is not there to help.

text messages from someone who's dead. voicemails that sound like dead air until you turn the volume all the way up.

emergency alerts for weather that doesn't happen on earth.

Your phone rings - but it's your phone number on the screen. You answer it, but all you hear is heavy, laboured breathing. You go to say something, only to hear your voice on the other end tell you "It's too late," and hang up.

You get a message from a number you don't recognise. It's a picture of you from behind. You turn and see there's nobody there. When you look back at your phone, you see the sender has sent another text - "Sorry, wrong number."

Your phone rings - it's a private number. You answer it, only to feel the sensation of something licking your ear.

You wake up to find a voicemail. You play it back, only to hear an autotuned version of your own voice reciting a Bible passage - 1 Peter 2: 18-20.

You get an emergency alert. It says "I'm sorry."

Yes.

All of this.

The sad thing is "Phones don't work" is a feasible thing, it's a classic UFO experience, and in day to day life, possible around highly radioactive emitters.

It's just a lack of imagination to just break phones (or do "retro" horror for the sake of not having cellphones, forgetting carphones were a thing back to the 70s. I was watching The Children (1980) and it featured one,if you think it would break a horror movie.)

For that matter, did people miss "Send more paramedics" from Return of The Living Dead? Do you think the Fire Department is going to stop alien cannibals? The Cops are going to shoot your ghosts?

I know everyone says it’s best to just stick to “said” as a dialogue tag bc it disappears and that’s true and I mostly do but I want to take a moment for my all-time favorite dialogue tag, “lied.” Absolutely nothing hits like “‘I’m here to help,’ he lied.” NOTHING.

ABSOLUTELY one of my favourites.

I love it so much when cartoon villains are like, "horrid greetings, your vile wretchedness," or "foul morning," "disgusting evening," "wicked nightmares," "sleep abominably, and bite the bed-bugs back" instead of normal salutations

The final stage of every OC's creation is having to go through websites like this to name it:

If you would’ve known that that stupid river was the fountain of youth, you never would’ve drank from it. That was 300 years ago. You’re permanently stuck at age 26. The only one you really have left in your life is your horse, who also made the mistake of drinking from it.

The expression is spot on XD