Undead
It is difficult to describe the feeling of being undead. It's been so long since I was actually alive. All I remember is a numb butt and excessive screen time.
Now I get exercise everyday. I’m outside all the time. And if you don’t like someone, you just eat them.
But you don’t do that.
I mean what is it like?
Seriously.
What it’s like to be alive?
You have to breathe. All the freakin time. How do you keep the air inside your bodies? I’ve eaten lungs, they are too squishy to contain much of anything.
Sally told me that you cook your food. Honestly that sounds disgusting. If you eat it raw, it saves so much time. You just grab your prey, rip their jug- oh by that look you really don’t like that.
Anyway, I was eating lunch with Sally the other day, a man in a suit who was a terrible runner. I saw this leaflet. It was torn and faded around big words, but the centre image remained. A family. Two parents and their two children.
I had children. Not undead children, real living children, before the...you know.
Julianna and Brandon.
Don’t give me that look. I didn’t eat them.
I miss them.
They were five and eight. I would tuck them in each night and read them Narnia.
I was at work when I became what I am. I do not know what happened to them.
If you see them please tell them that I died, I’m not a zom - I’m not undead. Tell them that, please?
You’re nodding, good. Good.
I will let you go now.
Maybe.