Maybe This Time (Pt. 3)
Fandom: Wonder Woman/DCEU
Pairings: Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) x fem!Reader
Summary: What comes next after your capture has you surprised. Is there hope? Will things truly be okay? Will you ever be safe again?
Genre: Angst, Hurt & Comfort, some light fluff
Warnings: Okay, there’s a bit more talks of violence in this. A lot of talks about burns and even death. I went into a little more detail on injures, but still it’s not like there’s gore.
“Up…” you heard a voice call in the distance. It was so faint, you could barely make out the words over the shrill ringing in your ears. “Come on… Have to…” The voice kept calling out. You tried, oh how you tried, to focus in, but your head felt like it was underwater. You weren’t entirely sure where you were, your body simultaneously felt like it was floating and like it was barely connected to your consciousness. Try as you might, you couldn’t even manage to crack your eyes open.
“Stand up!” The voice called louder, the agony in its tone finally shaking something within you.
All at once, the floating feeling disappeared and you were entirely too aware of your every nerve ending. Your body was shaking violently. You still couldn’t bear to open your eyes, but you knew now that you were laying on the ground, stretched on your stomach. Every intake of air felt like you were breathing in pure fire, your lungs felt like they were burning inside of you. Then you realized, from the smell in the air, you were breathing in thick, pungent smoke. The strength of its oder almost made you gag. And what really made your stomach churn was that, deep down, you knew it wasn’t just the smell of burning wood or burning metal even….
You managed to roll to your back, pain shooting through every part of your torso as you did. A coughing fit erupted from your lungs and with each excruciating squeeze of your chest, you wondered just how many of your ribs were broken. Your mind might’ve still been in a fog, but it didn’t take much awareness from you to know that you were seriously injured. Superhuman or not, it was going to take a minute to completely bounce back from this, even with your healing ability.
Finally, after what felt like ages, you were able to push through some of the haze that filled your mind to crack your eyes open. The sun was bright, blinding. In the back of your mind, the last memory you had was of nighttime. So how long had you been laying there? It felt like there was a wall, and your mind refused to surpass it to access the memories. You turned your head to shield your eyes from the sun and that’s when your heart stopped.
Surrounding you was pure destruction, bathed in flames. Your eyes scanned your surroundings and you realized you were laying in the dirt on the side of the road, in what seemed like the absolute middle of nowhere. Military vans were strewn across the road, on the side of the road, in the distance, most of which were on fire or not in one piece or both. What was worse was the bodies. Your stomach lurched and you finally realized what that smell was. Charred forms of men were scattered throughout the wreckage and from what was left of them you could tell they were uniformed.
Tearing your eyes from the horrors around you, you decided you had to get up. But when you moved your arms, you bit back a scream as pain shot through your system. You knew you had a couple of broken ribs, you could handle that. You also knew you had some bad cuts and bruises, that wasn’t anything new to you. Neither was this searing pain currently shooting through your limbs, but it had been a long time since it was this bad.
It took all of your will power to even want to see the state of your arms, but when you finally began to survey them, you began to connect the dots. Your arms were in bad shape. Third degree burns ran up from your fingertips all the way to your shoulders. The adrenaline that was preventing you from fully feeling the extent of your injuries was no longer present and, while your body might not be on fire anymore, it felt like every cell inside of you was. You also knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that you caused this destruction. This was on you. Your pain was caused by your powers, and as much as you tried you still couldn’t piece together what had happened yet.
“We have to go.” You almost forgot about the voice from earlier, the one that woke you from your floating feeling and brought you back to this hellish reality. Red and gold boots stopped right in front of you and you tried to focus on them, focus on the voice that barely hid its concern, but being so aware of your injuries had the fog threatening to yet again invade your mind.
You looked up and away from the wreckage and tried to focus again, but between the blazing sun and the fading of your vision, all you could make out was blurred colors of crimson and gold towering over your broken form. And then you were being hoisted up and you couldn’t help the pitiful cry of pain that broke from your lips when something brushed against your raw, barely healing skin. You heard what sounded like a curse from the voice of the one currently holding you, and you were then repositioned in a way where you were being cradled, yet purposefully held to avoid any more contact with your burnt flesh. And you both started moving. Moving fast. You were pretty sure your rescuer wasn’t even going on foot anymore, but you could no longer keep your eyes open, let alone hold your head up. The pain wasn’t subsiding. Your body was trying to heal itself, but it wasn’t going to just be that easy, even with your abilities.
Your head lulled back and as your eyes struggled to stay in focus, you saw through blurry vision, the flames that still raged on around you. In a small broken voice you managed to whisper “what have I done?” before surrendering to the fog clouding your mind. Your body went limp.
You woke up somewhere you didn’t recognize. To be in an unfamiliar setting was never a good sign for you. You started to jolt up, but a hand pressed flat to your shoulder stopped you from rising from the bed. Your head snapped to the side, alarmed that you didn’t even notice you weren’t alone, before completely relaxing when you saw who it was. Diana was sitting in a chair pulled up to the side of the bed. She looked exhausted. As if she hadn’t slept in days. She was scraped up too, but just barely. Different parts of her were littered with healing cuts and fading bruises.
“Stay resting,” her voice was hoarse, filled with emotion that you couldn’t place.
“How long have I been asleep?” Your mind flashed to the last memory you had. Your scorched arms, your back pressed against rough pavement in the middle of nowhere with the smell of burnt flesh filling your lungs. Your arms didn’t feel injured though, in fact you weren’t really in much pain at all. That must mean you’ve been out for quite a few days.
“A while.” You caught the way her jaw clenched as she said those two words. It didn’t take much deduction to realize she must have been worried sick about you.
You both stayed silent for a moment. She gently guided you to fully lay back on the bed and you allowed her to, but kept your eyes on her the whole time. There was something going on with her, but you couldn’t tell what. Diana put up a lot of walls, but she was starting to take them down with you. However, right now, you could tell she was trying to put on that strong, stoic expression she wore when she tried to play the part of Diana Prince hero to the world, but she was failing miserably. There was sadness behind those eyes and fear. You may have been the one barely clinging to life not too long ago, but she seemed to be the more fragile one in the room. She looked so… small. You wondered how long it had actually been since she left your side. She had to have slept a little right? Considering you were pretty healed from your wounds you would’ve been out for days, maybe weeks. You seemed well cared for, you peaked the IV in your arm, she must’ve known how to take care of you properly and did just that. But even so, looking at her, you had a sneaking suspicion she barely left that chair. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if she even slept in it next to you rather than opting to leave your side.
Slowly and with great hesitation, you reached for the hand that rested in her lap, placing your palm over hers. Eyes locked to where your hand was now laying upon hers, she didn’t look back to meet your eyes as you finally whispered the question you were dreading since you woke up. “What happened?”
“You tell me,” was all she said. It wasn’t hostile, her tone wasn’t accusatory. It was a genuine request and that caused you to tilt your head in confusion. Wasn’t she there? Wasn’t she the one that scooped you off the side of the road from all of the wreckage? How does she not know what happened?
“I don’t remember,” you admitted. “I remember being attacked and then I remember waking up on the side of the road and you rescuing me.”
“I didn’t rescue you,” her jaw clenched as she spoke. She looked at anything but you as she said that. It was obvious she felt immense guilt, you just didn’t understand why.
“I know it was you who picked me up,” you insisted. You remember her strong arms, you remember her holding you to her chest before you blacked out again. If there was anything you’d recognize in this world, it would be Diana. The woman you’re most familiar with than anyone in your many years of fleeing. Even if you were in a haze, even if all you could make out were blurred shapes and colors as she pulled you into her strong embrace. You felt her presence the moment she’d walk into a room, even with your back to her. So, how could you be mistaken?
“I found you like that.” She shook her head and took a breath, grounding herself before continuing. “I found you half alive in the middle of nowhere, (Y/N).” Her voice was filled with such anger. You knew it wasn’t directed towards you, but herself and you hated that fact. “I did not rescue you, I was almost too late.”
Pushing her chair back with a bit too much force, Diana stood up to turn her whole body away from you. With her back to you, you watched the rise and fall of her shoulders as she tried to collect herself. Her head hung low as she took deep, ragged breaths.
“I don’t understand,” you pleaded.
After a beat, Diana turned back to you, this time sitting on the side of the bed, next to where you still lay. “Is there any detail you can recall? About the people who took you? Faces? Names? Anything they said?” Her voice was level, but you could hear a hint of desperation in it.
So you were captured. A flash of that night hit you like a ton of bricks. You saw her bloody and beaten on the asphalt, you felt the heavy hand dragging you away. If you could focus more maybe you could make out more details, but it was like the time between your capture and your liberation was blocked by a mental wall. The more you pushed through it the worse your head felt.
“No,” you sighed in frustration. “Nothing.”
Diana simply nodded, her jaw clenching as she yet again refused to make eye contact. Hesitantly, you reached for her hand yet again and she let you take it, but she still refused to look into your eyes, choosing instead to focus on where your fingers intertwined with her own. You still watched her face though, studying every single movement to pick up on her emotions. To give you any sort of hint at what was going on in her head.
“Why do I feel like there’s something else going on?” you whispered as you looked up at her.
There was a pause and an uncomfortable stillness filled the room as you watched Diana struggle with her inner turmoil right in front of you. The pain she was feeling was clear in the way her lips turned into a frown at your question and her eyes continued to shift to everything in the room but your face. You squirmed where you lay next to her, your anxiety growing as you waited for her response and after a minute she took a deep breath and spoke.
“I can’t go through this again,” she sounded so defeated as she spoke. “I won’t.”
“Go through what?” She mentioned loss before, you knew it broke her, you knew she was still healing. The patterns she always displayed with you, where she would look at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world, where she would get ever so close to you, only to pull you away and treat you like this breakable thing she needed to keep at arm’s length. You were used to this pattern, part of you thought maybe it was about you, about how you’re a flight risk or about how you’re still not quite the same as her. For one you’re not a goddess like her, you’re just some sort of fucked up lab experment. So when she pulled away each time, when you thought maybe each time was the time and then it never came, it hurt. You’d remind yourself she was processing something, something you were still trying to piece together, something she mentioned in passing. You had a feeling, though, that this time you’ll get more of the story.
“I lost someone,” Diana started, “twice actually. The second time–” she stopped herself for a second and squeezed her eyes shut, “The last time was right before I met you. I thought that I had him back, for good. I knew it was too good to be true, but I had just thought that it was a miracle.”
Her voice was bitter as she spat out the last word. It was clear that there was a lot more for her to say, whether she was going to give you the full story now or not, you didn’t pry, you just continued to sit and listen.
“I had to make a choice and once I did… just like that, he was gone. I didn’t love again when I lost him the first time and I spent years alone. Then he came back and I wasn’t alone anymore, but it was only for a moment. Then it was back to just me… until you showed up.” She finally turned to look at you, a pained smile on her face. You saw the tears that rimmed her eyes and you could tell, even from what little she had said, it was causing her pure anguish to relive all of this. But, still, you couldn’t help the spark of selfish hope when you heard her say the last part.
You just continued to look back at her, trying your best to give her a look that told her you understood her pain, you took all her words in and your heart broke for her, but that you desperately wanted her to keep going. To expand on what she was saying. What about you coming into her life gave her pause? In the months you’ve known her she’s become the most important person in your world. Granted, she’s the only person in your world with the way you’ve been living, but that didn’t mean your feelings for her were any less real. In your time with her, she captured your heart and, while you don’t remember much from your second capture, you realized from that experience, that you’d rather face the thing you’ve spent years running from than lose the woman you were falling in love with. In that one moment, when you saw her bloody and broken that night, you had realized your greatest fear wasn’t capture or torture, it was losing Diana.
As Diana sat next to you in silence for a moment, you remained patient letting her collect her thoughts. Her hand left your own after a moment and fingers moved to brush ever so lightly across your cheek.
“I have always been strong,” her voice was a whisper as she spoke again. “I have survived so much, I have lost the man I loved not once, but twice, and I carried on each time. But the moment…” her hand cupped the side of your face as you looked up into her shimmer eyes. “The moment I thought that I had lost you everything in me felt like it was breaking. I truly felt powerless for the first time.”
A single tear slid down her cheek as she spoke and you moved incredibly slowly to sit up. This time she let you and, after a little effort and a small wince of pain you were finally face to face with her. Your hand shot out to wipe the tear away and Diana left her hand pressed to your cheek, her thumb running across your skin softly as you both waited for someone else to speak.
“But I’m here now,” you offered, your voice cracking as you spoke, not realizing how overcome you were with a whirlwind of emotions. “I survived.”
“Barely,” she said through gritted teeth and you could see immediately that she was about to pull away again. This time, you just couldn’t let her.
“But I did, like I always do, okay?” You leaned forward and pressed your forehead to hers.
She squeezed her eyes shut again, her other hand reaching up to the opposite side of your face. She held you there with her for a moment and you could feel as her grip on you tensed and relaxed. The emotions were running high in both of you, but you had never been this close to her before. This close to finally getting your feelings out there, to hearing about hers. Maybe this time things would work out. Maybe this time, if you had to run you’d run with her, maybe this time you could keep something that made you happy for once. Flashes of a future you so desperately wanted ran through your mind. There were dreams of a future you could build with her. It may not be a normal human life, but it would be your own with the woman of your dreams, with Diana Prince, with your hero and goddess. You saw years and years of endless love and support, you saw yourself learning from her and growing with her, you saw so many things.
“No matter what happens, Diana” you began again, “I will fight to stay by your side. I survived, I don’t know how but I escaped, and if I get captured again and again and again I will keep fighting to come back to you, okay?” Diana took a sharp breath as you spoke. This sudden burst of bravery filled your being as you kept going. “I will stay by your side and if we get separated again I will do everything in my power to find my way back to you. I can’t offer you much, I have spent so many years running and hiding and putting down roots has never been something I’ve done, but I will for you, I will fight for you even when I don’t know how to fight for myself.”
“So please, Diana, please…” your voice was breaking as you spoke and you felt tears brim your eyes as well as you spoke. You didn’t even know what you were pleading for. For her to take you as you were? For her to take a chance on you? For her to tell you, by some miracle, that she felt the same way you did? All of it, you pleaded for all of it. “Just don’t pull away this time. Don’t–”
And before you could continue to beg, the hands that rested on either side of your face were pulling you in. Her lips pressed to yours and it felt like the air was knocked out of your lungs. This was the moment, this was the breaking point. Diana had finally crossed that line and you knew everything between you two was finally about to change.
You melted into the kiss, letting her guide you as her lips moved against yours gently, yet still filled with an incredible need that left you reeling. Her hands slid from your face into your hair and you let yourself be pressed closer to her. Kissing Diana Prince was better than you had ever imagined, and in the months you had known her you imagined it far too often.
“Shh, little dove, shh” she murmured against your lips and it took you a moment to realize tears were beginning to freely slip down your cheeks. Her lips moved from your own, only to brush against your cheek and a hand that was once in your hair untangled itself to wipe your tears away.
“I will not fail you again,” she pulled back as she spoke, her hands moving to slip into yours. You both sat there on the bed, your eyes locked. Hers were so full of conviction and you could tell in that moment that every single wall she had put up was finally, completely gone. It was a huge relief, it was everything you’ve been waiting for, it was terrifying, but in the best possible way. “You will be safe with me for as long as you remain by my side.”
Her hand came up to cup your jaw and yet again she drew you in. Her lips ghosted over yours and you shivered as you felt them brush against your own. And then, before she pressed them fully to yours, you heard the words you didn’t know you’ve been waiting to hear, you didn’t know you were even ready to hear. In a hushed tone, against your lips, she whispered, “I love you, little dove” before bringing you into yet another heart stopping kiss.
In that moment, regardless of all the questions that swirled in your mind, regardless of the circumstances, everything melted away. For the rest of that night it was just you and Diana and nothing else mattered. She held you that night, poured all her love onto you in the most gentle of ways, took care of your remaining wounds and stayed next to you as you rested and let your body continue to heal. Things felt perfect, despite the uncertainty.
But little did you know what was to come.
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