Anonymous asked:

King Robert tends to sneak out of the castle a lot. His advisors and guards despair, trying to impress upon him the danger of the monarch just wandering around villages. They argue even beloved monarchs have enemies who might seek to hurt him while he's dallying about, outside the safety of the palace and his armed guards. The King nods and smiles......and continues to sneak out.

Hob, please don't call him "king" or "Robert," loves getting out of the castle! It's not like regular people really know what a king looks like, even if it's their monarch. When he's out Hob is amazed by his people.

Hob has helped raise a barn, brought in crops, been taught to knit by sweet old ladies, celebrated one of the pagan-ier holidays in a village square (the mead and food were fantastic), got into numerous sword fights to defend the honor of young ladies and men..... It's fantastic and real, and Hob would argue it makes him a better king.

Yes, Hob is aware that his various counselors (and ~~his mom~~ the Dowager Queen) want him to get married and stop venturing out, but all the stuck up potential consorts or soooo stuffy and entitled. Hob does think any of them have helped dig a well for a town that needed water or helped celebrate the birth of a new baby in a village pub!

Besides, there might be this beautiful new artist in town, Dream, who rents a room over the inn and takes simple commissions, who is so lovely. Hob is working so hard to be charming and learn more about him,,,but Dream is tight lipped as to where he's from. Still Hob knows he's wearing him down.....Hob got a small smile from his targeted buffoonery last time!

👑🤴🏽👑🤴🏽

Since they won't stop, Hob has decided he's going to see if he can convince Dream to marry him! Marrying him has to be better than those self serious "royals". But when he goes to see him, Dream is gone,, like he was never there. Hob is heartbroken.

He guesses he's meant to marry one of the snobs. He lets his council choose. They decide to accept the Endless Kingdom's offer - Prince Morpheus.

gabessquishytum answered:

This is the romcom we ABSOLUTELY deserve with these two beloved idiots <3

Hob is disconsolate after Dream leaves - he doesn't even have the heart to sneak out of the castle. The villagers are quite worried about him until he finally turns up one evening, basically to say goodbye to all his friends. He explains that a spouse has finally been chosen for him, and that as a married man it will be inappropriate to go out gallivanting and putting himself in potential danger. He will have a duty to spend time with his new husband, too. And his friends all understand - they accept his heartfelt invitations to the wedding. He's brought gifts from the castle for all the kids who've basically adopted him as a big brother. And he definitely sheds a few tears in the arms of the old ladies before he leaves.

Meanwhile, Prince Morpheus is en route to his new spouse's kingdom. He doesn't want this marriage at all, but after he ran away (and then got caught and dragged back home) his parents forced him to accept to situation. They won't even tell him where he's going or who he's marrying - a punishment for his disgraceful behaviour! Dream is fully expecting to be married to some awful old man. But when he gets out of the carriage he finds himself in a rather familiar place... he almost laughs out loud! He quickly has to pretend to be heartbroken over the impending marriage, when he really he's nearly vibrating with excitement.

They don't meet until they get to the altar (it's tradition, for royal marriages). Hob’s eyes light up and he looks over towards where his village friends are sitting like "are you seeing this??? it’s dream!!!" Everyone else is quite confused about why King Robert suddenly looks so happy, but his friends are able to heartily applaud the marriage. He truly deserves to be happy!

As for Morpheus - or Dream, as he prefers to be called - with the wedding officially performed, he can throw himself into Hob’s arms. His parents are pissed off to see their wayward son looking so content, but Dream no longer cares. The fates have been kind to him, and delivered him into the arms of the only man he has ever wished to marry. He can't wait to spend many years sneaking out of the castle with Hob, getting up to all kinds of mischief, and finally enjoying life.

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elf-kid2

dcmultiverse

Lex Luthor in Justice League Unlimited 2.09 - Question Authority

beatrice-otter

#absolutely iconic #dc keeps trying to make lex luthor into the ultimate supervillain in their comics #but tbh they should just give up #because nothing they can write will ever go as hard as this scene #do you know how much power i’d have to give up to be president? #is the rawest thing ever uttered by a villain #you can’t top it tags via fialleril

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sassychaostrash

willgrahamscock

Insane things that Will did that make him much worse than Hannibal:

He had a gun with him when Hannibal stabbed him and he didn't even try to fight back, he let himself be held as his bowls were falling out
He foreplayed with his therapist during therapy
He had to be stopped from shooting a guy crawling out of a horse all because he had psychosexual rage towards his therapist and wanted to take it out on the guy he was supposed to catch
Flew to Europe to sneak around Hannibal's old property, called the scar on his stomach a 'smile' and forced Chiyoh to kill the guy she's been keeping a prisoner because he wanted to see what she would do, then turned his corpse into a grotesque art piece with no witnesses to that
He sailed to Europe and told the detective there that 'he doesn't know what he'll do when he sees Hannibal so he should be careful' ?? (brother you're there to catch Hannibal....)
He sat with Hannibal in the gallery saying the most romantic shit ever, failed to stab him and then he just let Hannibal dig the bullet out and drug him??? (you can't convince me he didn't have an ounce of energy to fight back or see that coming mr I tell the future with senses)
He started combing his hair back after Hannibal tried to saw open his brain... ok whore
He got jealous when Hannibal started admiring a serial killer
He never once complained about eating Hannibal's cooking & he KNEW it was people...

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sassychaostrash

crimsonsaturn

Incorrect Hannibal pt. 5 (Will Graham edition)

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songofsunset

talesfromtreatment

Foiled!

Today I got to go on one of our runs to more rural shelters to help relieve overcrowding there. We ended up bringing back 21 kittens and 10 dogs. So fun day. But this morning, while I was getting stuff together in preparation for the 90 minute drive…. This happened.

Excuse you Tiniest Opossum, but you are NOT allowed to escape through the front bars of the cat carrier we were housing you in. I’m going to put you back.

“NO!”

I am going to catch you and put you back and you have no say in this matter.

“NO!”

Catching you and putting you back now.

“NOOOOOO!”

Aaaand back you go. Let go of the purple towel and go in the cardboard box.

“Noooooooooooo!”

fractiousrvt

I admit, I am in love with this tiny possum. Finding it in the hallway like that nearly caused me to die from adorableness and ridiculousness. I mean… it’s half the size of an adult syrian hamster and growling so fiercely that it was vibrating.

GIF by shawnasgonnagif

OMFG SO CUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEE

@blood-and-pepper

#tiniest opossum

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rebeccadumaurier

cannot get over how ART had one of the most iconic character introductions of all time. in the span of 100 pages and a few weeks, it was like hey. if you mess with me i'll squash you like a bug. check out how i'm 10,000 times more powerful than you. wanna watch tv together? ah FUCK my tv blorbo died. what do you mean you won't tell me all the secrets of your dark past. can i do some surgery on you? do you need me to blow anything up? let me hijack your brain for a couple seconds. ok that went great! here's my number in case you ever need it

#murderbot #typing this all out it being crazy and overprotective for much of network effect actually is remarkably on brand #it was always gonna be like yup. the best strategy to get my bestie back is dozens of missiles #murderbot diaries #ART definitely likes people #like a very enthusiastic aquarist #the kind with multiple 200 gallon tanks simulating different environments and can tell every single identical fish apart #that’s ART

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napoleanbonafarte

me too, buddy. me fucking too

#murderbot #murderbot diaries #system collapse #it was worth a shot

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alostcuttlefish

I think what I love about the Murderbot Diaries

(aside from, you know Murderbot who I love and cherish)

It that it’s a very grim-dark distopian corporate hellscape setting, told through the perspective of someone who has seen some of the worst that world has to offer, who’s existence is part of the worst that world has to offer, and yet-

And yet it’s so full of hope.

Everywhere you look, there’s underground shipping routes to get refugees out from contract labour, there’s universities forging documents to get abandoned colonies out from corporate ownership, there’s people buying a secunit so the company don’t realise it’s hacked itself and has free will. A Tlacy employee smuggles out copies of the files to give them back to their owners, a human officer on HaveRatton station opens the security barrier to let Ayda Mensah escape. There’s a planet that took the promise of somewhere safe to live, of food and medical care, and kept that promise for generations.

And for all it can’t even see the hope yet, can’t even really believe it might be there yet (because trauma will fuck you up), Secunit keeps being that hope for other people.

Not just the lives it saves, not just all the times it shows up out of nowhere like a social anxious guardian angel with energy weapons in it’s arms and several lifetimes worth of soap operas in it’s storage.

When it talks to Dr Volescu all the way up the side of the crater, to keep him moving. When it sticks with the scientists on RaviHyral. When Tapan sneaks onto it’s sleeping mat, because she’s scared, and it ups it’s body temperature to keep her warm. When it keeps Amena safe from a predatory partner, when it tells her to go rest. When it hacks the Comfort Unit’s governor module. When it-version-2.0 gives Three the codes to hack itself.

Imagine being on RaviHyral. Imagine meeting a security consultant who you shouldn’t be able to afford, who goes above and beyond and doesn’t even check the payment card at the end, who tells you that sometimes people do things to you that you can’t do anything about, that all you can do is learn to live with them, who’s clearly been through some shit but came out of it with so much compassion. Imagine the hope in that.

#grim dark with left hope #murderbot diaries #murderbot #secunit #so much social anxiety!#I think he has a lot more respect for comfort units after book 2

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academicblorbo

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nhescio

Hannibal: Llamas with Hats AU

———

#hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #murder husbands #nbc hannibal

gleefully-macabre

Okay this is officially the weirdest canon ship I’ve ever encountered. And I do consider it canon, if rather dubcon on one side.

A LitRPG Protagonist and his AI sugar daddy who is basically a petty trickster god with a foot fetish.

Yes, I’m reading Dungeon Crawler Carl.

Yes, I’m on the sixth book.

Yes, I’ve reached that scene.

If ya know, ya know.

#dungeon crawler carl #the eye of the bedlam bride #litrpg #as Princess Donut says #Time to pay the Daddy Tax

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voukkake

Idk if anyone made already this but here it is:D

gleefully-macabre

Spouse is sick and hogging the TV, which means I can’t play Bloodborne.

Just found out there is a Switch version of Dark Souls

#bloodborne #dark souls #soulsborne #gamer problems

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galileosballs

Yeah, a lot of what bothers me about fantasy settings (especially D&D) is that people try to run wizards like they're academics, but their only exposure to academics is authoritative professors telling them The Truth, so they don't realize that all academics are always 5 seconds away from trying to strangle each other over questions like 'does time really pass or does it just seem to pass'

emmebearpaw

dailyadventureprompts

What makes it even funnier is that we're dealing with people who's area of expertise is finding ways to break reality, meaning that the more entrenched you are in your wizarding studies the more likely it is that you'll find a way to make reality confirm to your inherent bias.

This leads to your tenured litches/elven archmage professors LITERALLY unable to share rooms with eachother not only because of academic rivalry but because they have conflicting (and centuries outdated) theories of how physics should work and having them get into an augment would likely rip a hole into the astral sea.

evilwizard

Love the idea of a magic system that’s constantly in flux relative to where the nearest wizard is, though.

sushi1056

One does not simply kill Urdalos the Undying

sushi1056

I love how the very next thing in my feed today was this, today’s xkcd

Feels relevant

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galileosballs

Yeah, a lot of what bothers me about fantasy settings (especially D&D) is that people try to run wizards like they're academics, but their only exposure to academics is authoritative professors telling them The Truth, so they don't realize that all academics are always 5 seconds away from trying to strangle each other over questions like 'does time really pass or does it just seem to pass'

emmebearpaw

dailyadventureprompts

What makes it even funnier is that we're dealing with people who's area of expertise is finding ways to break reality, meaning that the more entrenched you are in your wizarding studies the more likely it is that you'll find a way to make reality confirm to your inherent bias.

This leads to your tenured litches/elven archmage professors LITERALLY unable to share rooms with eachother not only because of academic rivalry but because they have conflicting (and centuries outdated) theories of how physics should work and having them get into an augment would likely rip a hole into the astral sea.

evilwizard

Love the idea of a magic system that’s constantly in flux relative to where the nearest wizard is, though.

odonataanisoptera

This is just Unseen University in a nutshell!

Also, I can definitely attest to this concept. As a college physics major, my classmates and I witnessed the most quintessential version of this concept play out when our lab underwent a termite swarm. We students endured multiple days of swarming termites while the three professors in our department sat around on one end of the lab debating whose job it was to call maintenance- the outgoing chair, incoming chair, or the third who was just partaking in the debate for the intellectual stimulation of it all. I think eventually it was one of my classmates who called it in 😂

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americankimchi

galileosballs

Yeah, a lot of what bothers me about fantasy settings (especially D&D) is that people try to run wizards like they're academics, but their only exposure to academics is authoritative professors telling them The Truth, so they don't realize that all academics are always 5 seconds away from trying to strangle each other over questions like 'does time really pass or does it just seem to pass'

emmebearpaw

dailyadventureprompts

What makes it even funnier is that we're dealing with people who's area of expertise is finding ways to break reality, meaning that the more entrenched you are in your wizarding studies the more likely it is that you'll find a way to make reality confirm to your inherent bias.

This leads to your tenured litches/elven archmage professors LITERALLY unable to share rooms with eachother not only because of academic rivalry but because they have conflicting (and centuries outdated) theories of how physics should work and having them get into an augment would likely rip a hole into the astral sea.

evilwizard

Love the idea of a magic system that’s constantly in flux relative to where the nearest wizard is, though.