Lovey

watching the first half of polite society like what a fun coming of age film about a teenage girl learning to accept that your passions in life don't always work out and that you won't always want the same things as you do as a teenager wait what the fuck

polite society is so stressful cause it’s about like. growing apart from your sister and seeing the people you love give up on their dreams. but also what if someone was drugging and testing your sister so they could use her womb to make a clone of themself and they convinced everyone you love that you’re crazy. literally two of the scariest things in the world

ria was completely right and not dramatic personally if my sister decided to marry a mommy’s boy after a month of dating i too would dress up in the most obvious fake massive moustache and break into his gym locker to steal his laptop for information and then wrestle my sister to the bloody floor screaming murder

Polite Society is a great film btw but I think in order to love it you do have to have experienced the complete powerlessness of being a teenage girl like if you don't know that it just won't work the same

watching polite society again and aside from being really endeared by all the characters and dynamics and the humor and the fun editing style, i also have so much appreciation for stories that validate a teenage girl protagonist who feels like the whole world is against her. like, no, she's not being crazy or overdramatic or emotional or childish, societal expectations ARE evil and impossible and she's totally right to be freaked out and angry and the solution IS violence

its very interesting to me that from the beginning it's made very obvious that lena is depressed (frustrated over her art, unkempt appearance, make up that looks like its been on for days, etc) but its never explicitly mentioned. the only person that notices that something is wrong is ria but she doesnt have the words to put it ('he called you kind!' 'i AM kind!' 'no! you're arrogant! you're egotistical! you're an ARTIST' which is like one of my favourite scenes in the whole movie and the whole build up to 'because i'm not good enough!!!' was just five-star emotional angst on a platter *chef's kiss*) which probably comments on 'polite society' and how mental illness doesnt fit into that concept so youre not taught the right vocabulary for it

but what's even more interesting is that ria is infact explicitly called mentally unstable (by her own mother no less, i get that she thinks she's just looking out for her but it doesn't sting any less) and i think that's because ria's hysteria doesnt fit into the traditional role of femininity in polite society whereas lena's depression does. but ria isn't mentally ill! she's fine! she's just a teenager being her loud passionate teenage self and she tries so hard to convince her mother of that and it just comes out all wrong, further proving her mother right (another one of my favourite scenes, shoutout to priya kansara for expressing that desperation so exquisitely) and i can't stop thinking about how 'female hysteria' as a mental illness is rooted in sexism whereas depression in women often goes overlooked simply because as long as a woman is quiet and obedient then it doesnt matter what's going on inside her head. anyway this movie is genius and everyone should go see it. now

one of my favourite parts of polite society is when the big sister goes to smash little sister into their photograph together on the wall and the glass is already broken dhsnmsnshsvss bc they do this shit all the time. hyperstylised sibling representation

There’s so much to love about Polite Society (2023) but personally one of my favorite things about it is that every woman and girl gets to SCREAM their lungs out

Remember being a teenage girl and everyone told you that you were overreacting to everything just because you literally just had emotions sometimes and you were absolutely terrified of change but would never admit it and you spent a lot of time dreaming about committing acts of violence anyway Polite Society was made for Me Specifically

I've got so much I want to say about Polite Society. But I refuse to post anything too spoilery yet.

So one thing I will say is the way Lena's depression and mental health is written is incredible. So often when men write women with mental health issues they write this sort of "prettily struggling" womsn in a spiral.

(this infamous queens gambit scene comes to mind)

They're never allowed to actually be ugly or gross or even not have their hair and makeup be perfect.

Like beth here is in a pretty frilly top shes reclining in an uncomfortable fashion. Her makeup looks perfect and he cardigan is prettily draped over her shoulders. She's meant to be attractive. Her sadness is almost fetishised.

but then Lena looks like this

Whereas Lena's a WRECK. It's considered an achievement she showered. AND shes proud of herself for that small acomplishment. Shes angry. She destroys her work. She's dressed in sweats and pyjamas with either no makeup (if i remember correctly) or makeup that looks like it's been on for days. There's a scene where shes wandering aimlessly and just buys a duck to eat. And she does not eat it daintily or prettily (and no its not a chicken ppl seem to be confused).

I love that she spends all the first act in hoodies and pajamas looking like shes not washed in 3 days. It's just so good to see a woman direct another woman with depression. There's so much to be said about the male gaze and how it even impacts the portrayal of women going through crisis. The removal of that lens has created what I will argue is the most authentic experience of depression in a woman I've maybe ever seen. I literally cannot think of another time I've seen that.

Anyways Nida Manzoor I love you.

you look like Clara Bow

you look like Stevie Nicks

you look like Taylor Swift

All these songs are so wordy and I love it so much but also damn we got essentially a 20 page essay to memorize now

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me." I want this on my tombstone.

alexander hamilton ass woman

i couldn’t have found a normal artist to enjoy it just had to be this freak

Actually, the most realistic part of Quinni’s experience as an autistic person in s2 of Heartbreak High (for me at least) is how quick everyone is to switch up on her.

The fact that she goes from ohhhhh Quinni’s so sweet and she just wants to make everyone happy and sure she’s “a bit weird” but she makes people feel better when they’re around her to her asserting her feelings literally ONE TIME and suddenly she’s too dramatic and the world can’t play by her rules.