whalley for real

Chinook Salmon (Oncorhynchus tshawytscha)

oh to be a chinook salmon hovering over a sea of cream soda

Happy

mad?? i would KILL to have that shirt

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

The plot of the lastest Game Changer episode:

so, Megalodon, right? Megalodon Survival hypothesis still inexplicably unnerves me, even though I know it's utter bunk, but we don't exactly know what Megalodon looked like. The most popular reconstruction of Megalodon is of course "great white shark squared" but a recent paper suggests it had a longer, more slender build like a Mako, which is cool I love Mako sharks, but also you're basically adding hectic speed and huge flying leaps to one of my stupidest irrational fears so thanks.

Truth is when it comes to Megalodon reconstruction all we have to work with is some teeth and vertebrae, which dgmw paeleontologists can figure out a hell of a lot from a couple of bones or even just fragments, they're so good, it's very impressive, I am absolutely not here to diss. But like. What if they're wrong anyway.

What if it looked like a gulper eel

they are yeah, but, and I can't stress this enough, they also do this

and this

and also this

they look freaky when they're fished up and laid out all fucked up from decompression but in situ they tend to look like unfinished and very stressed muppets, like a shaved Yip-Yip Martian or Kermit having a crumple as a tadpole. They look like if the sound Marge Simpson makes was an animal and knew it. They look like if a plastic grocery bag and half an inner tube wished and wished and a kind fairy gave them a baby and tormented it with sentience. They look like if :| and D: got velveteen rabbited. They look like a condom that's passionate about its job.

Watching how two dogs who love each other will sometimes still nip each other on the ear, bug them while they sleep, etc... watching how cats will snuggle with their buddy all day and then paw-smack 'em in the face, chase them, play-fight...

Makes me, as a fellow social mammal, feel better about my urge to be incredibly annoying to another human sometimes. Like, yeah. Of course I wanna bug you. Of course it's fun to annoy you. We're social creatures and annoyance can be part of play, something we all need. And I watch these dogs who get their ears nipped, cats who get smacked out of a nap, and despite BEING annoyed, they don't stop loving their packmate. After they finish play-fighting, they're back to snuggling and grooming and sleeping together. BEING annoyed is also just part of being in a social group and having relationships... and that's okay. It doesn't erase love or necessarily make them mad or affect them in the long term... a loved one being annoyed with me is a temporary feeling that's normal for social creatures. An annoyance that wouldn't be possible WITHOUT that love

I was watching this video about the usage of tar in history (it’s in Polish and without subs, sorry), and this part spoke to me

they're always bringing experts or activists on the news to agitate about porn and there's a standard script for this that's like "I think sex education is important, I'm not anti-sex, but so much of this porn is violent and misogynistic if not outright illegal, and it's far too accessible to our children"

I want to see someone finally be brave enough to say that the government should just make its own porn for teenagers that accords with community values, so they don't have to go to these shady places to get it. I think the government porn would probably be pretty bad but I would be so eager to hear about the process of designing it. there would be so many stakeholders and consultations. in canada it would have to be bilingual

no-one would find it at all sexy at first but then in 20 years there'd be a thriving fetish scene where people develop elaborate codes and practices around culturally-embedded tropes from government porn

guy who can only get off when his dom pretends to be badly dubbed into quebecois french

Imagine a vampire sucked your blood and they didn't even pop a boner. not even half hard. fully flaccid the entire time they sucked your blood. I'd be so humiliated.

booktok authors writing secondary characters

kind of obsessed with this security question option my doctors office has given me

anyone else seeing weird mysterious failures on Tumblr

yeah but you didnt have to call us out like that