its manwhore monday

Ballpoint penis

so close! they are actually at the other end

Oh wow. Listening and learning.

Didn’t expect this to be so frightening

inspired by @elvenferretots :

what do berners got that the others don't???

Fur

there should be a hotline for me to call autistic people with specific hyperfixations every time i have a question

can i come over and implant false memories of us being childhood friends?

Sure! You always did that when we were younger!

you've heard of her right? the whole town's talking about her. the girl who turned kinda weird through the intersection. we all saw and we're mad at her.

always learning more about the world

its not inexplicable to me. i could explic it.

Neanderthals probably had insane pull. They were like “I am taking care of my grandma since she hurt her foot. Look at this beautiful cave painting I made.” and early modern humans were like “You are so refreshingly compassionate and make beautiful art. Your stocky frame, huge head and chinlessness have seduced me. Let’s interbreed and create offspring that will have unique autoimmune problems for thousands of years to come.”

Are auto immune system issues linked to hybrid hominids? Genuinely asking :)

Yes! Overactive immune systems are linked to Neanderthal trace DNA.

can't stop listening to this

nobody:

half full water bottle left behind on the floor of a public bus: *rolls around*

OP is an optimist

can we stop promoting the idea that nature has to look beautiful to be good?

The fact that it’s almost working is hilarious to me

[Finger guns]

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of... maybe everything actually

No no they could be onto something here

What's the worst that could happen? Worth a shot.

Ah. splanters. In and on my penas. And yeah they're haunted.

Straight Man Jumped In Gay City For Refusing to Twerk is like my favorite Interchangeable Phrase (ie Why So Serious? The Joker/ the friendful visitor) except nobody gives a fuck about it or references it or thinks it’s funny except me and my bf bc it was a term that trended on twitter for one hour for one day, months and months ago. it was a caption on a tweet of a completely unrelated out of context phone video of a fight outside a bar. it trended just because the phrase Straight Man Jumped In Gay City For Refusing to Twerk was so insane and had nothing to do with the video. and i use it for everything now. Closeted Man Jumped In Out City For Refusing to Self Acceptance. Autistic Man Jumped In Conversation City for Refusing to Eye Contact. Brave Man Jumped in Get Scared City for refusing to Tremble. Genuine Man Jumped In Ironic Enjoyment City for Refusing Shame. just some suggestions on how to integrate the straight man and the gay city that claimed him into your life