I've got a sword and I am afraid

its snooseday!!!!!! (snoopy tuesday)

office mug

Diane di Prima

ursula k. le guin, the lathe of heaven

My boyfriend's professor doesn't believe I exist, so I sent this email

And his professor responded with this

obsessed w internet speak but specifically these two recent inventions:

1. statement (directly contradictory statement)

ie: “i’m normal now (lying)” or something like. “doing homework (scrolling tumblr).” it’s like a text version of looking directly at the camera. sarcasm but slightly to the left. amazing

2. wacky thought <- reactionary/self aware comment

it’s like?? the closest thing i can think of is movies where the characters break the fourth wall to pause the show and talk to you about it? like emperors new groove or lion king 1 1/2? self aware ironic kinda talk show-esque. whatever it is it’s brilliant.

love the way we’re bulldozing english keep it up team

did you know they say calculus is the language of God. did you know they tried to hold math up to infinity like a candle to the void. did you know statisticians plunged into the vastness of random chance and picked out patterns and equations and eight hundred ways to tell you how big your inevitable errors are and how far off those guesses at errors might be. math haters I can't sit with you anymore. human innovation is cradled in these ancient, methodical, desperate attempts at understanding what we are not designed to understand

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

Please stop he is drowning.....

Gone forever

two bros, both alike in sexuality

in a hot tub, where we lay our scene

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

do yoo evew say someting and den tink “wow dis isn’t even a bit!! im just wike dis UwU”

This post has been UwU-ified!

i feel dirty after reading that

do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO

i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you

When is it my turn to be happy.

why should i care about taylor swift when the killer remains at large

#girl… put 2 and 2 together

this is qwilfish, a generation 2 pokemon

im just posting this to say, i have never, in my entire life, seen anyone acknowledge its existence.

not only have i never seen fanart of qwilfish, ive absolutely never seen it mentioned in any kind of pokemon discussion, ever

good

I had a friend who honest to god IV bred and trained several Qwilfish. He didn’t tell anyone about them, you found out because  he’d suddenly pull out the Qwilfish team against you when you didn’t expect it.

And every single one of them knew Explosion. All of his Qwilfish were IV bred and EV trained for speed and max damage, they all held choice scarf, and his entire gameplan was to trade KOs with exploding Qwilfish. Their names were ‘So’, ‘I’, ‘herd’, ‘u’, and ‘liek’. The man was an avid mudkip fanatic at the time that joke was relevant, so here you are expecting his last pokemon to be a Mudkip or a Swampert, but no. It’s a Snorlax. Who’s name was ‘QWILFISH’ And his plan from that point out was to stall for ages with Rest, Yawn and Giga Impact. Slowly whittle away at your hitpoints while putting you to sleep with him and retaining his massive HP pool with rest and leftovers. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, this was Gen 4, when the R4 was rampant and everyone knew someone with one, so pokemon with moves they shouldn’t know was pretty common. So once you were down to your last pokemon and on your last legs… His Snorlax also knew Explosion. 250 base damage + stab.

That man was a treasure.

I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying, but this sounds epic and I’m reblogging this for my Pokemon-savvy friends.

I both fear and have feelings for this man.

via @chongoblog

with access to the 2022 tumblr vernacular, he'd be unstoppable

#pushing for a house md remake for one purpose only: so we can hear gregory house say 'god forbid women do anything'

son of a gun

Having anotheg 'gork we have got to get out of bed faster then this' morning

dasfsffadfjdag I meant girl but gork works better

I didn't even question it I was nodding along like I'm literally right there with you gork

Now I (still in bed) am going gork. gork please. we need to get out of bed already.

babygork please. please you have to get up

this may or may not be a fantasy writing exercise for me. please reblog