Cocaine was a stimulant used by a priestly caste of the middle period United States called businessmen in order to commune with The Market. [1]

Ferengi Wikipedia

I’m

Oh. I’m not drinking enough water

…SHIT.

How dare you call me out like this

okay but what if ingesting water would cause electrical fires and/or immediate explosive death

Asking for a friend ofc

@anotherhumanperson I think you’re exempt from this

just maybe oil your joints now and then

good idea

IG : @emperorofmischief

I'm only mildly morally outraged by taylor swift. She's kind of the poster child for rich blonde white women but she's not the worst one yknow. She's like the hillary clinton of pop music but I'm grateful that she's not a politician. I do find her lyrics and the way swifties act about those lyrics REALLY funny though. God bless

Some people really whip themselves up into a frenzy about this white woman and her notes app poetry she's getting paid gazillions of dollars for and I'm not convinced it's that serious. Personally. But it's really really really funny. The whole phenomenon of swifties posting lyrics like Can you believe she wrote this herself she's a musical genius. & she's like "I wanted to fuck like a mountain rat / but you were a mouse trap / we're tom and jerry / but like in a straight way" and when you start giggling about it they're like YOUUU DONT UNDERSTAND ART

Alright, to ao3's soon to be arriving Wattpad Refugees, a basic guide to general user culture:

1.) Unlike Wattpads vote system that let's you like each chapter, the ao3 equivalent kudos only allows one per work. Everyone is generally quietly annoyed about this. To engage with each chapter, you're heavily encouraged to comment. Trust me, it makes people's day.

2.) Ao3 has no algorithm. By default it's latest updated work first. You can find things to your taste through searches, filters and tags.

3.) 'No archive warnings apply' and 'user has chosen not to use archive warnings' mean two very different things. No archives warnings means the work is free from any content that could require a warning tag (character death, graphic depictions of violence, non-con, etc). User has chosen not to use archive warnings means it could contain any of the warning content, be it hasn't been explicitly tagged. Treat it like an allergen. No archive warnings apply is allergen free. User has chosen not to use archive warnings, may contain traces or whole chunks of the allergen. If you're likely to have a bad reaction, maybe don't take the risk.

4.) Speaking of warnings, ao3 has very few restrictions on the type of work that's allowed. Whatever your personal thoughts or feelings on that are, thats how the site is. You're likely to run across some dark subject matters and a lot of people are uncomfortable with reading that. You're well within your rights not like these works and have your opinion on whether they should be allowed, but harassing the authors of such works (or any works) is more likely to come back on you than them. Ao3 operates on a strong policy of 'don't like, don't read'. Use the tagging system to your full advantage to only engage with the kind of works you want to see.

We look forward to welcoming you all and seeing the fantastic works you create. Happy writing!

The "etc." in point three seems to be dancing around some of the kind of content AO3 allows and requires tagging for, which isn't really helpful to new users, so here's more detailed info about the major warning system on AO3, under a cut for length:

Work it grandma

OK I SAID WORK IT AND SHE REALLY DID

I think you mean, "Work it, GREAT grandma". And she does!

i love to make fun of notorious white woman Taylor Swift and all of her embarrassing attempts to appear deeper than a plate of soup.

happy to announce that this post is at the top of the taylor swift tag, meaning this is the most widely shared opinion regarding Taylor on this website at the moment.

The thing came out of hiding

Thing has been exploring. It is very brave even though my apartment is very new and scary. everyone clap for it

@irhabiya

This is basically like a modern Vine, the vibe, the humour, the length...

Amazing

This is basically

like a modern Vine, the vibe,

the humour, the length…

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)

some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.

YOU WILL NEED:

5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)

preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).

in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.

set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.

spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.

slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)

ARE THESE FUDGY CHEWY OR CAKEY PLEASE THIS IS IMPORTANT

FUDGY !!!

RECIPE IN GRAMS cause it was bugging me, op i hope you dont mind (i did the math but any correction is welcome yall)

70g unsalted butter (there's salted?? the things i learn on here)

28g+ baking chocolate (google tells me this is a chocolate bar that has little to no sugar in it and no its not the same as dark chocolate)

65g unsweetened cocoa powder

200g extrafine white sugar (or granulated sugar if you must. This is *not* powdered sugar btw. powdered sugar has a different cup-to-grams ratio. Id never heard of extrafine sugar before but i went on a google rabbit hole and yeah it exists here too lol)

120g white flour

2,8g baking powder (lets make this 3g yall we're all gonna eyeball it anyway cmon)

Cinnamon (to taste, at least a little bit is needed for real tho)

3 egg whites

1 egg

A splash of vanilla extract

-----------------------

Preheat oven to 160-165°C (325°F is technically 162,7 but ehhh you do you)

Grease a square baking pan (23x23cm or as close as you can get i guess)

Follow OP's instructions

Bake for 18 minutes on the dot

NOW IN GRAMS!!!

for real tho everyone saying they want to make these as graduation treats/study snacks is warming my heart my grandma is a big fan of academia and worked at a bookstore for several years she would love to know her brownies are making their way around as study motivation

let me tell you driving from Ohio to Washington in a SmartCar with everything I owned was funny enough on its own but once I got west of the Rockies, every. single. time. I stopped ar a gas station, random dads would just spawn beside my car. like there was some sort of dad portal following me. and they’d see my ohio plates and go, “did you DRIVE through the mountains in that?” and every. single. time. I’d go, “well, they didn’t airlift me!”

it killed. it absolutely cleared ever time. never failed to make the dads laugh. they were obsessed. i said it the same every time. it was like I was in a groundhog day timeloop on interstate 70 westbound gas stations. and i you know what? I was happy.

the fact that it was smaller than my tent….

truly took this little transmission places it was never supposed to go.

Finding other trans people attractive is a crucial part of reducing one's own struggles with dysphoria, I am not joking about this. Obviously it is not ever a bad thing to want physical changes to help get where you want in your transition, but, once you start to realise people built like you now can be beautiful or handsome or even enviable for what are usually considered transgender traits, it can go a long way towards helping you feel like those traits aren't so bad to have after all...

Decided I'm not done. If you insist you can't do this because your self hatred is so strong it makes you think all other trans people are ugly or unpleasant or failing to live up to some lofty standard of normalcy, that's your business, but consider that I will not pity you for saying this in my notes. I will not pity you for thinking all trans people are repulsive, because that is an asshole thing to think, whether you're trans or not! It just is! Thanks.