public service announcement

I keep getting people asking about bowling on this post so I’m just gonna repost this drawing I made on Twitter

How did her grandmother fill 4 vases?

She was a very large woman. Easily 12 feet tall.

then why the heck is her family not tall too?!?!

Pop-pop was very small so it canceled out.

This was originally part of its own post, but I figured I should add it here so all the Bawling/Balling/Bowling family lore can be in one place, sorry if you’ve seen it before.

So 12-foot-tall Grandma was actually a star basketball player back in the 70s for a very brief period of time– her career as a professional athlete only lasted between October and December of 1972.

The reason for this was because John Basketball, the inventor of the sport, realized that the WNBA had not yet been established, so he asked her to please sit out until the Basketball Elders got a chance to make a space in the sport for women. Grandma thought this was pretty bullshit, but she decided to leave the NBA anyway because nobody could keep up with her balling, and the sport had lost its novelty.

After she settled down in her new-but-less-exciting career as an astronaut, she met Pop-pop on the moon. It turns out that he had been a big fan of her and had recorded all her matches on U-matic, and had fallen in love with the sport.

Anyway things happened, the two fell in love and got married, and Grandma and Pop-pop had a beautiful family together. She became especially close with one of her granddaughters, Ballin’ Jessie, who inherited her propensity for basketball. The two would often dunk hoops with each other, and developed trash-talk as their love language.

Pop-pop also had an interest in the sport, but his height had made it difficult for him to keep up with the others. In fact, he had actually lost about a foot in height as a result of being compressed by Earth’s stronger gravitational pull. Despite this, Pop-pop was never really bothered by this because of his exceptional love for Grandma, who was always more than happy to lend him a helping hand. 

I drew the gang,

my horrible hybrid of all of them

btw the thing she couldn’t ignore was someone calling her out for saying anti-depressants/hormone therapy are only perscribed by lazy doctors

Update:

J.K. Rowling is apparently now filing a defamation lawsuit against someone who made fun of her for saying this, which means its time to spread this like wildfire!

sure would be a shame if- oops, that's the reblog button!

wow, my hands automatica.ly hit reblog! how did this happen?

I love how Stardew Valley stops you from giving you from giving people more than two gifts a week, because I like to think that it's the Farmer's weird sense of social etiquette talking.

Wanna give Jodi a single small egg then walk away without saying a word? Go head. Feel like reaching into your pocket, pulling out a fistful of tree sap, and slapping it in Lewis's hands? Be my guest. Entering without knocking? That's a must. But giving them more than two gifts a week? Hold your horses, buckaroo, do you want people to think you're some kind of weirdo? Wait until it's their birthday or you're married before you start engaging in freakish behavior like that.

Me: *hands Alex a flower I found on the ground and then walks away without saying anything* *I will do the exact same thing next week* Alex: Someday I'm gonna marry that man

some notes on how i think elytra would theoretically work in-game! ^_^

shitpost number 5 thousand

nobuddy feels like they have a sharp attention span these days, right? and we all just click “agree on terms of service” because its hard to love yourself sometimes, well

enter Terms of Service, Didn’t Read: a website and a browser addon that streamlines the terms of service of many popular web services to be read by the tech sunday drivers.

It’s graded from A (great) to E (awful) and if you have the addon you have access to the info about the website on your bar

this post came back to me like a dear son from war, hello ol boy

Sharing this for everyone who stumbles on this post!! Please be safe y'all, def use gloves, mask, and make sure to have good ventilation! Always check the ingredients of your cleaning products before using them together! Please share this so more folks are aware, they literally don't be teaching us important stuff like this to prepare for the Adult World™

You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.

Soon after you begin your quest, you encounter another man in a similar situation. You decide to join forces, as two mortal men stand a better chance at punching Zeus than one. Two villages over, you encounter a woman who had relations with Zeus and was left with a highly aggressive half-boar half-man offspring. She too feels your anger and offers to join your quest. By the time you reach Mount Olympus, you’ve amassed a large and formidable army of cuckolded/ravished mortals, demigods with daddy issues, mythical creatures with scores to settle, and a seamstress who you’re pretty sure is Hera in disguise. Zeus never stood a chance.

What I find best about this scenario is that the original wife probably expected to be murdered for her infidelity at worst or have her relationship with her husband ruined as he grew to resent her baby, at best.

Instead this man looked at his beloved and said, “who did it?”

And she replied “Zeus,” accepting he probably wouldn’t believe her.

And then he sighed, strapped his sandals back on and said, “I’ll be back before the baby is born.”

“Where are you-?”

“The lord of the sky came into my house, molested my wife in my bed and ate my food. I am going to settle the score.”

“Darling, he’ll kill you.”

“He may try, if he would like.”

Thank you all so so much for waiting. As I promised, here it is- all 17 pages, 4,985 words.

a few days ago i woke up thinking: snails are cute, but what if they had legs?

so i made this, and i was like "aww yeahhh such a funny animal"

and then a second image popped up in my head

what if they acted like dogs?

YEAAAAHHHHH HAPPY PUPPY SNAIL

THIS WAS AN ACTUAL POST BY THE POKEMON COMPANY. 

don’t click off after it hurts you, please

@superbeans89

The Beast that Bothers

WHAT A DREAM

Finally, some good fucking interior design

@shrimpsisbugs

you know the economy is in shambles when all of us are looking at a moderately spacious single bedroom apartment like a Bolshevik at the Romanov imperial palace

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

Saw a sharp increase in my follower count after posting this. The legitimacy of it is driving me nuts so I also feel the need to say that you can follow anyone on here regardless of whether you’ve interacted with them or not. People like the above mentioned blog are exceptions. Perhaps they themselves think they aren’t and therefore will act like they aren’t, but they are, trust me.

Just follow anyone you wanna follow. The worst thing that can happen is maybe getting soft-blocked by the other person, but if they do soft-block you, then they were never that worth following in the first place.

help

So this showed up on Twitter and

And here’s that link you’re welcome

“if I cant have my dignity, at least I have something to read” <- put this on my tombstone

This starts out as a nice gesture, then quickly becomes absolutely ridiculous.

1,024 dice. Man.

The transition from innate human kindness wanting to pass something forward and monkey brain want make chaos is really sharp and sudden.

Also from "Oh I want those dice so bad, but...!" to "Oh that is too many dice." (After a more gradual ramp up from "Not enough dice to tempt me".)