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This porno didn’t fuck around

there’s… a lot to take in here…

I was so flummoxed by this I had to learn more, so I took to Google, where I found this blog post by Dan Cardone, who was a grip on this film. Some highlights:

“FORTUNATELY ONE OF THE MODELS WAS ALSO A FULLY QUALIFIED NURSE” my god I am LOSING my MIND

Deleted the reblog for other reasons but. Jowling kowling rowling’s new book where the villain has ME, POTS, fibromyalgia, and Allodynia is going to be the first time a lot of able bodied people hear about these conditions. And it’s also going to be the first time that a lot of people who have these conditions see them in print. The harm that will do is immeasurable

Especially since JKR is known for successful campaigns against marginalized groups, including disabled people. She uses disability as a tragedy. She uses disability to discredit people, to villanize people and able-bodied people soak that shit up like a sponge. I can imagine way too well how horribly this shit is going to go down and I’m already exhausted.  

this is fine to reblog btw. and also with able bodied people it's like. they resent the idea that some people are sick all the time. they have a sort of constant low level anger towards us for not being able to meet their standards of productivity and physical perfection as proxy for moral purity. what stories that have disabled villains can do is take that resentment and stoke it into outright hatred and violence

EHEHEHEHEEHEHEHHE (Not mine)

self explanatory

this video changed my life

Some “concept art” @rainysorarts created for our collaborative fanfiction! Read here:

viktuuri is canon

inspo

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

…Have you eaten pine needles?

We’ve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

Are they…

You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don’t Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

…I’ll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don’t have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

god fucking dammit gimme a minute

Enter AERUH and MALUS SYL-VESTRIS, a pair of JESTERS.

AERUH I tell thee, rosemary is like a pine but with a spicy taste.

MALUS                         Art thou to claim that needles base of pine have not a spice?

AERUH A needle base of pine is merely base.

MALUS ‘Tis not when held, comparing, to anthos.

AERUH My dearest Malus, needles thou'st eaten?

MALUS How many moons have we as friends seen rise? How many suns have we as friends seen set? Thou sixteen seasons in my heart I’ve held, and hope that I in thine hast been the same. With brotherhood as rich and old as this, thou needst not ask me such frivolities.

AERUH I know thou likely has, to tell the truth, but I would not assume.

MALUS                       Well, yes, I have. A multitude of types I’ve eaten too. I’ll tell thee now: the best (though it is strange) is single-leaf pinyon.

AERUH                     And it has spice?

MALUS I truly wish that I could tell thee this, but now, i'faith, I cannot fully tell, the difference in classifying thus: to say “has spice” or merely “herbal strength”.

AERUH To tell this tale most clearly it would seem that eating needles from a pine’s required.

MALUS Aye, it would seem that that’s the task at hand, but caution tells that this is what’s to do: eat only needles of the honest pine, and none of lying leaf with pinelike shape.

AERUH I’ll eat them all.

MALUS                   I prithee, stay thyself.

AERUH Roulette with leaves.

MALUS                     At least restrain from yew.

AERUH I’ll do my best.

MALUS                That is all can we do. The scholars tell that needles true of pine can be distinguished from the lying yew by sheathlike clothing all along the base; the yew has no such guard.

AERUH                          With this new truth I now will venture out into the wood and seek the pines and pinelike fakes alike to stare them down and learn their secret truths.

MALUS With this thou canst at long and weary last Discover for thyself my life’s own path.

Exeunt.

Enter MACDUFF.

MACDUFF. Yo dudes that king there’s dead. Like dead as FUCK.

Hey what the fuck this entire thing scans

Holy Shit

obsessed. also makes sense when you remember than butterflies drink blood

concept: your vampire lover cannot be with you during the daytime, so they follow you in the shape of a butterfly through the day

Translate this meme for me, please.

“honk honk, your Uber has arrived”

“Oleg, what the fuck”

the best thing ever lmao

I feel like something is lost by translating бип-бип as honk honk instead of the phonetic “bep bep”