Friday Affirmation ✨

*I am bold and impactful. 👄

*I will take life at my own pace.

*I am the master of my fate.

*I am the captain of my soul.

*I AM A MONEY MAKER. 💸

*I am to be envied. 💁🏿

*I deserve ALL that life has to offer and will not give those who sit and wait.

Reblog for good fortune this weekend. 🔮

When SD is late

I just tell him I went into a nearby store to look because I got bored waiting and get him to meet me there. While I’m in the store I pick out things I like. When he arrives he’s gonna feel bad for making me wait and he’s not going to stand around while his girl pays so he pays for me 😂😂

an aspirational post

I hate when guys use a nonsexual question to segue into sex.

Him: What’s your favorite color?

Me: Lol, pink.

Him: Is that the same color as your panties?

Me:

Him: How was your day?

Me: A little stressful can’t wait to get home and relax.

Him: awww you need some dick to relax babe.

Him: what do you do for fun?

Me: I like to knit

Him: why don’t you knit on this dick

Me:

😂😂😂😂

Him: What are you up to?

Me: Just did laundry, tired af now.

Him: You deserve some dick for that right?

Ladies, keep it going!

Him: wyd

Me: I’m washing dishes

Him: damn…wish I could bend you over the sink

(Someone really told me this)

BYEEEE!! 😂😂😂😂

Him: wyd?

Me: laying down

Him: without me?

Me:

That’s the granddaddy of them all!

Foreal

Him: WYD

Me: I’m having dinner

Him: Damn, I bet that mouth good, huh?? 😏

Me:

a mf that will “wyd” your ass to death all damn day 🙄

Lmaooooo niggas are so annoying.

Him: Wyd?

Me: About to take a shower

Him: Let me get in with you

The sink one took me out

Niggas: wyd

Me: Chillin

Nigs: I got something you can do 😉😜

Me:

This is gold 😂

Lame nigga: wyd

Me: nothing much, watching netflix

Lame: you wanna netflix and chill

This post funny 😂

The fact that even my ugly ass relates to this says a lot. Men are trash

Dumb ass nigga: wyd

Me: watching tv

Dumb ass nigga: Do you wanna watch a volcano erupt

Me: Nigga what

Dumb ass Nigga: *sends a video of him jacking and coming*

Me:

Wait the last one 😩😩 that’s wild

I am ashamed.

Him: Wyd?

Me: About to drink something.

Him: *sends dick pic* You can drink from my straw😏

Him: wyd today?

Me: At work. Tbh I have free time so I’m actually exercising a little in my office 😂

Him: I got a lot of energy today too if you wanna come thru lol

Me:

Like dude shut all the way up, please. Damn near 25 with these 6th grade lines. What’re YOU doing lol

Him: “WYD?”

Me: “On my way to work “

Him: “I got some work for you”

Me:

me: watching the iron giant 😄

him: I got an iron giant you could be playing with

me:

Some Tough Love

I want the Grandfather, not the Grandson.

Just a glimpse of the conversation that occurred on that horrific date. 

Man: Is that all yours?

Me: Yes

Man: Do you like your hair being pulled?

Me: Nope.

Man: I think you should straighten your  hair.

Me: You can see I have long hair.

Man: It’s in a bun though, I want to see how long is it.

Me: No.

Man: When I used to have hair, my hairdresser used to straighten my hair because it makes the hair grow faster.

Me: 

Man: It’s like when the doctor gives you the flu vaccine, they use they use flu virus and it cancels out getting the flu,

Me: She lied to you. Straightening hair doesn’t make your hair grow faster it conveys growth because curly hair is coiled. My hair is shoulder length with shrinkage, if I straighten it’s waist length. The heat loosens the curl creating a perception my hair must have grown. Hair grows an inch to two inches every month. 

Man: She’s a professional and you are not so I take her word.How did you grow your hair?

Me: The same way Indians and Ethiopians grow their hair…by not letting anyone touch it. 

Man: So you not going to straighten it for me?

Me: Why would I sacrifice my hair follicles for dick?

Man: (spits out drink)

Cancels out getting the flu…. mansplaining it wrong & still tryna make us change for the limp dick. No 🤧

Some things I’ve learned about wealthy men:

Rich guys never cheap out on shoes, they all wear ferragammo shoes with the buckle

They have those Hugo boss sneakers

Money clips

They have cars for different occasions

Wealthy men wear rolexes or apple watches

The more obnoxious the print of the shirt the more $$

A man with money does not wear flashy designer belts

Wealthy men do not drive entrance level series cars (such as a 3 series or A4)

x

How to see through bullshit on tinder: cars

Some guys pose next to extremely nice cars…but they’re wearing ill fitted suits. Swipe left, he’s at a car show and hoping you won’t know the difference.

Some are dressed relatively well and the car isn’t too bad, but the photo was taken in a grungy, dirty driveway or neighborhood. Swipe left, the decent things were all he can afford but trust me, he lives there or his closest friends do. Why else would he choose to document such a crappy area?

The elusive few will take a picture with door open to “prove” that its their car BUT try to obscure the model of the car. One guy had the angle so that I could see he was coming out of his Mercedes with a view of the steering wheel emblem. Yet with a closer look I could tell this was at best a 1998 C or E class from the hood alone. NEXT

These guys complain about a girl hiding the fact that she weighs 10 pounds more in real life than in her photos while they are out here lying about their tax bracket.

screaming

But they lying about they tax brackets!!!

EXO Wins DAESANG Award at 2017 Soribada Best K-Music Awards!

Including the Daesang, EXO won a total of 3 awards tonight.

Congratulations EXO! 

This is EXO’s 1st Daesang of the 2016/2017 award season. EXO-Ls don’t forget to help EXO win more by purchasing their Physical album and streaming their songs on Melon!

Vanilla Women: So you sleep with men for money?

Me: So you sleep with men for free?