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Feelings!

@yesseverefunbanana

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shymagnolia

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

i need all the help i can get for finals

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finnglas

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

At this point literally anything helps.

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songtaegguk

For my upcoming mid terms, semi finals and finals. Please.

Eh fuck it let’s do this not like i’m gonna lose anything anyways

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harmalite

CLADISTICS ruined my life

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aquaticpaleo

yall joke but this is actually a serious conundrun with cladistic-based classification

The choice is this: 

Birds are reptiles 

Or crocodilians (and probably turtles) ARENT 

That’s it, that’s the choice 

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shadybacon

What if Bird and reptiles are two different things that came from the same thing

Nope 

Because you can’t group (lizards, snakes, tuatara, turtles, crocodilians) without also including (birds) 

So if you don’t want to include birds in reptiles then you have to leave out some things we’ve called reptiles 

birds are dinosaurs though, full stop. we’ve already defined what a dinosaur is and it includes birds. but reptiles isn’t really defined so much as thrown against a wall angrily. 

But don’t turtles and alligators have more in common with modern reptiles than modern birds have in common with modern reptiles? I’m not trying to contradict, I’m trying to understand. Mammals and reptiles have a common ancestor as well, but we do not make them the same group.

It’s not about having things in common. It’s about common ancestry, which is how we classify animals in light of extinct species, which defy trait-based classification. 

And, the common ancestor of [lizards, snakes, tuatara, turtles, crocodilians] by definition is also the common ancestor of birds. It is NOT the common ancestor of mammals. 

So, either we decide that Tuatara Lizards and Snakes are the only reptiles, or we include birds as reptiles. Or we just decide reptiles are no longer a thing. 

don’t throw reptiles against the wall? please? some of them are small and delicate. you could hurt them.

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virovac

Basically, unless we’re maybe talking massive horizontal gene transfer, everything is still part of the group that came before it. 

You are technically a fish.

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haltraveler

IIRC the fish thing is so frustrating that scientists have decided fish is just not real cladistic grouping at all

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aethersea

hey could we go back please to the bit where the closest relative of Birds is Crocodiles? bc I am alarmed

Well, technically they’re equally-closely related to crocodiles, alligators, gharials and tomistomas. As archosaurs, they’re all descended from small reptiles that looked something like this 

The two main groups of archosaurs are the Pseudosuchia, or crocodile-line archosaurs, and the Ornithodira, or bird-line archosaurs. Both groups were massively diverse in prehistory, with the Pseudosuchia dominating most land-based niches in the Triassic, and the Ornithodira, especially the dinosaurs, doing the same during the Jurassic and Cretaceous. However, most of them have been wiped out due to the Triassic and Cretaceous mass extinctions, leaving them each with only one surviving clade: Aves, the true birds, and Crocodylia, the semiaquatic, ambush predators like crocs and gators. 

This entire post sums up everything we’re not allowed to mention in our Vertebrata classes because the last time someone started that argument they had to break up a fistfight.

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knitordeath

I’m just hung up on the humans evolving from fish comment.

Like, we evolved from tiny tree-climbing squirrels. To the best of our knowledge.

…which evolved from tiny tree-climbing reptiles

…which evolved from amphibians

…which evolved from fish.

*runs in ten minutes late with a plucked chicken* BEHOLD A LIZARD

you could have left the feathers on this time tbh

It was already plucked. They just STOLE IT from philosophy 101.

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Come get this dick-fil-a

I’m tired of y'all reblogging this every Sunday

One of you shit heads are saving this post and waiting until Sunday to reblog it

I will fucking find you

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hi i just want everyone to know that i will never ever EVER be angry with anyone for not replying to my texts even though you’re visibly online and reblogging/posting. i understand that holding a conversation takes a lot more energy and effort than scrolling and posting and that’s 100% okay. take care of yourself first. the whole idea that you HAVE to reply to someone when you’re online is toxic and makes mentally ill people feel as though they are bad friends just because they can’t always reply within minutes. 

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Part 2 of The Super Sons’ cheesy pick up lines:

Jon: if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together ;)
Damian: too bad cause ‘N’ and ‘O’ already are
Jon:
Jon: *tears up and runs away*
Damian: WAIT JON I JUST REALLY WANTED TO SAY THAT LINE
Damian: I WOULD PUT ‘U’ AND ‘I’ TOGETHER TOO
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jolyene

EVERYONE PUT THIS GIF ON YOUR BLOG IMMEDIATLY IT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE VIRUS!!

image

Don’t know how it protects me from Ebola but alright alright. If it keeps me safe

Ebola??? What year is this from?

January 26th, 2014

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Camp Half Blood and Jupiter: Wow, he’s so calm and composed, i wonder how he does it.
Percy, internally: fuck fuck fuck f-
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Jason: Chemistry? More like cheMYSTERY, because i have no clue what’s going on
Nico: Calculus? More like calKILLus, because a piece of my sanity dies with every equation.
Frank: Biology? More like BYEology, because i’m out.
Percy: Math? More like no.
Jason: Dude! We had something going!
Percy: You had bullshit growing, that’s it.
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fraseris

i miss the ever given being stuck in the suez canal so much i almost started crying

genuinely.. this was such an amazing time..

like. theres this boat. and its a huge boat. and its wedged sideways in one of the most important waterways in the world. there are like, 25 people on board. theyre stuck. it took an hour for the boat to rotate and hit both banks. nobody can do anything about it. its just, there. it drew a penis beforehand. its just a boat and its stuck. yaknow

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It was supposed to be humanity’s fresh start. A new Eden.

They piled into the rocket ships, strapped into tight, uncomfortable space suits, crammed together in tiny passenger cabins, sweating and nervous. The ships were packed with everything they’d need. There were thousands of panes of glass, made up of the melted sands of beaches no human toes would wriggle into ever again. There were stores of freeze-dried foods, hard and chewy and unappealing; the fruits of their home, the last to sustain them. The final provisions of Eden. There were seeds, the best and hardiest which could be found, stored in coolers of dry ice, kept sleeping. Seeds which would wake on a new planet, with unfamiliar soil, and soak in the same sun -- more distant now, but familiar and comforting.  They were seeds. The seeds of humanity. The best. The most successful. The ones who had proven their worth through accruing the most gold, the most things. They were the ones who could be counted upon to force this new planet to their will. They were ruthless; they were clever; they were thoroughly human. In a state of nature, they would turn that cleverness, that instinct towards self-preservation, on one another. They would tear each other apart over the best land, the best food, the best sexual partners. But they were above nature. They had conquered it once, stripped it of its flesh, and left it a dying corpse. Their appetites would ensure their species survived beyond the husk of Earth. They could start again, they would conquer a new planet. Their descendants would battle it out in the economies of Mars, the fittest would be successful, would drive development and prompt the flourishing of a new humanity. A new Eden.  The work was hard -- much harder than they were used to. Machines assembled the domes, built and programmed by scientists who had mostly been left behind. But they had been well-compensated, in the petty currencies of Earth. The Martians waited, chewing on their freeze-dried rations and watching the domes assemble themselves. When one machine broke down and wouldn’t start again, they scratched their heads and tried to figure out how to fix it.

They were the best of humanity; the cleverest. They examined the machine. They tried to figure out who would fix it. Fighting broke out. That was what humans did. Eventually one of the original scientists lucky enough to come on the mission figured it out. The machine ground back to life and continued its task. But they were far behind schedule now.

The domes rose up around them and were pumped full of oxygen. The blue-tinted glass almost looked like home. It almost looked like the oceans they had left behind. Their drones tilled and worked the soil, while the best of humanity tried to figure out how to arrange their land claims. They squabbled over plots of nearby land, knowing that this site they currently inhabited would one day become a historic landmark, attracting tourists from all over the solar system and beyond to see the place where humanity began anew, where their journey across the stars truly began. Tourists who brought money, tourists who made them richer still. The wiser among them took enormous swathes of land on the other side of the plant, investing in their family interest far, far down the line.

While they divided and claimed and began searching for minerals and resources beneath their blue-tinted glass, they barely ever looked back at the home they had left behind. Earth was gone. There was no more to be extracted from it, save perhaps its water. A few of the Martians began to hash out water rights to Earth: who had the privilege of importing all of that life-sustaining liquid to this new planet? Sure, they could manufacture water. All it took was a little oxygen and some hydrogen -- hardly scarce chemical resources. But people liked to have authentic water. Real Earth water. They could bottle it and sell it at a premium. They could dupe their less intelligent Martians into believing they were connecting with their roots, absorbing the life-energy of the original Eden. But first they needed to find fuel for their rocket ships. They needed to power their generators and their machines. Their supplies of uranium were dwindling. Though there was plenty of ore available, they hadn’t yet set up methods of enrichment. They had diverted too much energy into exploration, into claiming and dividing the surface of the planet. Their rovers had travelled far, eating up fuel. They had sabotaged one another’s missions, hoping to claim the most valuable tracts of land for themselves, wasting resources. Hundreds of rovers lay destroyed around the planet, their parts unreachable, unsalvageable.

When they did finally look to Earth, in discussing the possibility of redirecting some of their uranium supply into a delivery mission in search of fuel, they were shocked by what they saw.

Humans.

Not as many as there had been before the Martians abandoned their planet, but nearly as many. Certainly enough.

The climates were still unstable, but they hadn’t worsened as they had predicted. Forests had encroached on former human settlements, turning subdivisions into nature parks. Their telescopes scanned the surface and found new development -- more concentrated, but there. They couldn’t work out how the Earthlings had managed to feed themselves: they could not see the patchwork of fields. They had grown over. They could not figure out how the Earthlings, the worst of Humanity, had managed to turn the planet around. But the eyes of the Martians filled with the hunger of opportunity.

Some of them had never ceded their land rights, not bothering to make the symbolic gestures of their comrades, those who had publicly donated their lands in exchange for one last dose of celebrity. Those few began to formulate a new plan.

They built a new rocket ship. They filled it with precious refined uranium and freeze-dried rations for the long trip back to their land titles. They told their fellow Martians they were going to retrieve more fuel, and bring back labourers to help enhance some of their social experiences. Robots really weren’t a replacement for a good waiter.

And they left.

When the Martians got back to Earth, they were met with curiosity and joy.

“We haven’t heard from the Martians in decades!” the people said. “We watched you through our telescopes. You’ve built impressive structures! What have you learned?”

And the Martians said, “Mars is hard and barren, and we have sacrificed so much to build a habitat there. But some of us realized we were wrong. We don’t want to rebuild humanity, we don’t want a new Eden; we want our old Eden!”

And the Earthlings welcomed them home and showed them their new cities.

They had stopped burning fossil fuels. Windmills and solar panels and water wheels were everywhere. They had stopped churning up the earth to plant endless corn and soy beans, and had learned new forms of agriculture and animal husbandry. They built communities instead of houses, unique to their landscapes. They cooperated in the design of these new approaches to life. They turned to old ways, old cultures, and traditional understandings. They supplemented tradition and history with science and careful observation and flexible adjustment of their approach. They were proud of what they had done.

“Where are our lands?” The Martians asked, impressed by the fruitfulness of this new society. “We want to know who lives on our lands, we want to know who is paying us for their use.”

The Earthlings laughed. They realized the Martians were serious. They stopped laughing. The Martians grew angry.

“We own these lands!” they shouted. “You owe us for using them for so long!”

The Earthlings pointed the Martians towards their new communities. “Stay with us. Learn more about how we’ve changed. Learn how we live. But you don’t own any land. You are not owed any pay. This can be your home, but it can not be your possession.”

The Martians tried to litigate. They tried to sue. But the legal systems of this new Earth laughed at them too. They were powerless. Their wealth meant nothing. Those who still had wealth, which had been sitting untouched for years, found they could not make it grow without time and labour. They could only spend it. So they did.

They purchased refined uranium. They loaded it into their space ship. They returned to Mars.

“Earth,” they said, “Is doomed.” And the rest of Mars agreed.

And the best of humanity flourished.

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dewidotted

The difference between venom trending on Twitter and venom trending on Tumblr is the Twitter people are just like "oh cool new Marvel thing" or criticizing something and Tumblr is just "LOOK LOOK AT THE MEN AND THEIR SLIMEY COUNTERPARTS [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] AWOOGA HUMINA HUMINA"

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