assigned Incomprehensible Fish Deity by tumblr uswr @laudofthedeep

Hokay so. One day I am simply sitting in my room when i receive a message. “Hey how hard is it to become a priest?”

I have at this point been writing an essay for several consecutive hours without moving. I am dehydrated and have a wicked headache. “I dunno man. I think Catholic priests have to go through like years of training but my friend says his sister paid 30 bucks for a priesting license.”

I am still in research mode. I get on Google. Within five minutes I’ve found a website that will send you not only a priesting license but multiple certifications and a few marriage certificates. I relay these findings back and pass out.

About an hour later i wake up to loud knocking on my door. Groggily, i get up and go to the door only to find Matt there. At this point, he and Topsy and i are all just friends. He pushes $60 into my hands and says “Here, i need you to take this.” As i am a reasonable person, i respond, “What? No, I can’t take your money, why are you even giving it to me.”

He looks me dead in the eye. Unwaveringly: “I need you to take this so I can win.”

I know better than to try and bend steel, so, bewildered, I accept it and return to my bed. On my phone there are several more messages depositing money into my bank account with very little explanation.

Of course, I am an honest man so I did in fact use the money I was given to buy myself a priesting license, which I keep in my wallet to this day. Y’know. In case of an emergency requiring a priest.

i'd elaborate here but believe it or not i already told my perspective of this story back in 2020

assigned Incomprehensible Fish Deity by tumblr uswr @laudofthedeep

hold on get back here what was that last part

assigned Incomprehensible Fish Deity by tumblr uswr @laudofthedeep

I hate work I should be at the (remembers I don't want to go to the club) the imagination

Scarian Summer Smooch Fest Prompt Voting

The time has come! A huge thank you to everyone who submitted prompt ideas. We received so many creative suggestions! The prompts have been narrowed down to 25 options per prompt type.

Vote for your favorite prompts here!

Please only submit the prompt voting form once. The form will only be open until May 4!

Happy Scarianing!

Nice going man, you've become indistinguishable from that which you sought to destroy

It's just that this is literally right after I defended you for perpetuating the cycle of violence

I wasn't gonna say anything but in the throne room your shadow stretched farther and darker than that of the king you had just slain and it really wasn't good

Hey man it's me. Yeah sorry I only just realized this was an artful machination. Yeah I know now this was a ploy to unite us all against you as a common enemy whose downfall with herald an unprecedented era of peace. Sorry yeah I didn't read into the bright sunlight casting your shadow in the throne room. Sorry yeah I just feel bad so if you want to get coffee or maybe entrust me as your only true peer with the heavy burden of slaying you and masking my unimaginable agony as I become hero to the masses just let me know

i had to make one for them too

i understand why but it’s killing me how much the official hgcz lore drops undersell the absolute state of this zine so far. the mod team is out here releasing tasteful power reveals and character interviews to the general public and i’m just

update

oh my god

re: that whole tag ramble i did on the tristamp gifset i reblogged last night—i wandered over to ao3 and almost immediately found one of my favorite vash characterizations i’ve ever seen

​(it’s a oneshot just read it it’s so good)