he’s licking his lips…

he’s checking it twice…

Five minutes left, on his microwave rice

I don’t watch the Bachelor but I’m really glad i know people who do so that I can be informed that on tonight’s episode the current bachelor took off all his recording equipment jumped over a fence and ran away into the forest

holy shit?

youtube link for international viewers

According to Colton, he actually expected a producer or someone from the team at abc to be on the other side. When he realized he was truly alone for the first time in weeks he just took off into the Portuguese countryside. Now keep in mind, he’s a former football player and super athletic in general so they had to get in trucks to catch him.  

I don’t give a cold fuck about the facts of what happened or didn’t here, I’m just in awe of this description making it sound like this dude was a fucking raptor busting out of Jurassic Park with handlers racing against the clock to Bring Him In Before He Kills Again™

so there’s a pretty well known minecraft server called 2b2t that was originally made by facepunch/4chan idiots at least five years ago with the goal of creating a server that 1. has no moderation and 2. never changes maps. naturally a lot of idiot griefer players were attracted to this concept and basically turned the server into a lawless hellworld where any new player is at the mercy of the griefer warlords. the griefers built a colossal, monolithic cobblestone wall around the worldspawn so new players with no items wouldn’t be able to escape from it, allowing griefers with powerful equipment to spawnkill new players as much as they liked. new players punched dozens of tiny little tunnels through this wall which created a way to escape the worldspawn area if you explored enough

one time in july of 2012 i heard about this server and decided to explore it a bit. that’s what the huge wall around the worldspawn looked like from outside the worldspawn. the worldspawn was basically the epicenter of a massive radius of uninhabitable land where stuff like trees and animals had all been stripped away by griefers to make it as hard as possible to survive. i managed to run fairly far away from the worldspawn and reach an area that looked relatively normal and uninhabited so i dug a small underground bunker at the bottom of the world and planted a couple farms and logged out. i kind of forgot about it after that and didn’t log back in until i randomly remembered the server existed again in march of 2015 and decided to see if my little bunker was still there which is when i discovered that it was and saw this REALLY good sign somebody had left after discovering it

at that time in 2015 i just kind of laughed and took that screenshot and explored my bunker a bit and saw that people had come and destroyed the farms i had built and holed up the entrance to my bunker but otherwise left it in tact, which made me pretty proud. i logged out and forgot about the server again until just now (august of 2017) when i logged back in again. my bunker was pretty much the same as in 2015 except that funny sign had been removed by someone. i didn’t go back up to the surface when i had logged in in 2015, so decided to dig myself back up and see what it was like

when i originally dug down in this area in 2012, it just looked like any other naturally generated tundra/forest biome in minecraft. what i found when i came back up to the surface just now five years later was a strange massive manmade cobblestone structure and several giant fountains of lava. there weren’t any other players nearby. someone had spawned four withers nearby which seemed to (thankfully) be stuck in a ditch like area and were just blowing shit up indefinitely. i wandered around and found another underground base near mine which happened to have some melons growing in it, so i took a few to resupply the melons in my griefed farm. i got a bit lost but finally found the hole leading back to my bunker and buried myself again and planted my melon seeds. i can hear the wither explosions from my bunker now, which is kind of worrying. i don’t really feel like doing anything else in here so maybe i’ll log back in and 2020 and see if my little bunker with the melons is still there then

No wait one of those memes but it’s “the difference 450 years can make” shared in a vampire community and it’s just almost the exact same photo twice

“Be careful who you’re mean to in the 17th century”

Throwback Thursday!

remember that first live action scooby doo movie. where the antagonist was literally scrappy doo and he was stealing peoples souls, like actually really stealing and absorbing souls, and was planning on taking scoobys soul to rule the world with an army of demons and get revenge on the gang after they abandoned him because he kept peeing in the car, and near the end he turned into this huge dog monster

a real movie

shit. shit

I researched this because I saw this movie in cinemas when I was like 6 goddamn years old and remembering its existence just now blew my mind. James Gunn screenwrote this. The writer and director of Guardians of the Galaxy, 12 full years before his most successful film. He stated in interviews that he hated Scrappy’s guts and “their whole goal was to destroy Scrappy forever”, since the character was famously brought in to Scooby Doo in the 80s to help ratings and was almost immediately overexposed and overmarketed to the point that many fans hate him. And they totally did. He hasn’t appeared in anything Scooby Doo related since, except for these throwaway allusions as a nightmare-like traumatic event for the rest of the gang. Depending how you wanna interpret those references the canon fate of Scrappy Doo was that he went nuts and tried to kill anyone. Also, according to this movie he was never even a puppy, just “had a glandular issue”, which makes all those times he went “puppy power” really creepy in hindsight tbh I haven’t watched a SD related thing in years but I spent like a half hour looking into and reading about this. Worth.

The best part is that Gunn is still proud of this and admits to writing him as the villain because scrappy is a “completely fucking awful person”

I wish to be as proud of my fanfiction as James Gunn is of his SD movie 

I wish James Gunn would bless us with a third Scooby Doo movie

me: I’m stressed because of finals

My garbage brain: cry 

me: that won’t help though 

terrible brain o′ mine: I never said it would help

me, crying now: damn

wait, one more

Hello?

lil style thingie

my fuckin health teacher came in as a plague doctor for halloween and proceeded to say nothing to us for the whole class. he did hit a few desks with a walking stick tho

how do you know it was your teacher

scp 049

“how do you know it was your teacher”

My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

Oh bother.

im deleting this fucking website

It took me a minute

Whom hath removed thine Page?!?! Tis a dastardly deed indeed!

BEDTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING: YES IT’S TIME.TO GET UNCONSCIOUS

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE DOGS

9 million people fucking love dogs

Here we come 10.

BREAK THE POST

BREAK THE POST

BREAK THE POST

I’ve finally found it again

the elusive 10 million note post

they say no two people reblog it with the same original text

let your character fuck up. please. let them fuck up on a scale so massive that this particular thing cannot be salvaged. let their fuck up have permanent consequences. and stoooooooooooooooop having them being the smartest person in the room who always has a sharp comeback to put their enemies down, and who always handles their enemies with grace or at least an air of superiority that s justified because they’re so cool and smart and clever™ let them bleed for their mistakes, let them MAKE those mistakes, and let that bleeding be ugly and disgraceful. let them suffer for their own mistakes, and let them suffer in knowing that they cannot fix. and let other people hate them for the shit they’ve done, and for once let the haters not be ‘petty bad people’. Let the haters be right.

APPLAUD

👌👌👌👌

wolfgang amadeus mozart has been dead for 226 slutty, slutty years 

WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART HAS BEEN DEAD FOR EXACTLY 226 SLUTTY, SLUTTY YEARS