Eternal

~~

available as a print on my inprnt here & and another version here

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

Reblogging for cultural enrichment

bout time I brought back the Laurel and Hardy flex tape-

From The Killers, 1946. A Film Noir Classic

I’m an archivist, behold my growing collection was of old photos mirroring timeless memes I’ve come across at various places I’ve worked.

...he is weaving the chocolate. Do you copy, this bitch is WEAVING CHOCOLATE

As if I wasn't already exhausted enough this morning...

It's been brought to my attention that people are taking my fanfics, editing them, and sharing them around. I don't have the words to describe how not okay this is. If you don't like something about my fanfic, then I'm sorry to hear that, but there are a lot of other fics out there you can read instead.

I put time and effort and care into my writing, as does every writer. To take my work without permission and change it feels like someone just punched me in the gut. Frankly it makes me not want to share my work at all and to take down all the writing I do have up, because why should I share anything with people if all they're going to do is decide it's not good enough and they're going to do what they want with it and make it "better"?

And before anyone comes at me, this is not what a transformative work does. This is not the same as fanfiction. I'm fucking exhausted from working two eleven hour shifts over the weekend so my brain is not working so someone smarter and more articulate than I am can explain why. I'm tired.

This genuinely makes me want to take down all my works and not share anything new. It's very simple, kiddos: Don't like it? Don't read it. You will miss out on some fanfics that way, just like you'll miss out on some films, or books, or TV shows. I've missed out on really good fic, novels, films, etc, for the same reason. We all do. It's a part of life. Stuff will sometimes have things in it that you don't like. Skim those parts, fast-forward those scenes, grin and bear it, or just go and read/watch something else.

Normally I would make this post unrebloggable but I worry other writers in this fandom might experience the same thing and not realize it. So people are welcome to reblog this. Anyone who's an ass on it will be blocked, no second chances.

Just. Don't do this guys. Holy shit don't do this. What the actual fuck.

Nobody tell him.

FIRST LOVE BLUES

WORDS: 1.2 k

WARNINGS: Mentions of past violence and suggestive language.

A/N: A (belated) gift for @mercymaker of their lovely Tav and Astarion for the BG3 Gift Exchange 🖤 Thank you @zevlor for hosting and so sorry for the delay! Also, thank you to @alexxmason for your input on writing Astarion!

Tumblr Code.

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

good god this just crossed my dash in the year of our lord 2023

I LIKE YOUR SHOELACES??? IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024??

Let’s take it to 4 million, folks!

almost there!

TO 4 MILLION!!!!!!!!!

THE ORIGINAL SHOELACES POST?? ON MY DASH IN 2024??

@highladyluck

Gods bless the post. :)

(Remembering with pleasure when I got to do this last year with an auditorium full of people at Finncon in Tampere.)

reblog to give somebody a fucking hug because we are all struggling to get through it. solidarity in this tough ass world.

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

DYING. I AM DYING.

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

My youngest got me BG3 for my birthday. I want to like this game so much... I hope I don't have the same problems with it like I did the witcher.

And here's my Tav. I've just found Astarion and pulled Gale from a rock. I'm still looking for Lae'zel. And so far, so good. My kid was worried I'd hate the combat, but I'm not having a problem with the tedium of it. I'm still messing with the controls (haven't figured out how to access my inventory, but I'm not super worried about that just yet - might be a problem later because I'm one of those people who picks up every damn thing I can).

On another note, I LOVE spoilers, so I know something of the characters, though not much of the main story yet. I'm trying really hard to not google everything before I do anything (as I'm wont to do - my kids HATE that I do that).

On still another note, I'll probably be reblogging as I go & keep you all posted, if you're interested. :)

Ok, so I'm 5 hours in. I can see how easy it is to rack up a gazillion hours in this game and feel like you didn't get anything done. I'm glad I'm playing on the easiest setting because I'm having a hard time with the combat (in other words - I'm getting my ass kicked). I guess it's just one of those things I'm not very good at and I'm ok with that - I suck at first person shooters, too. I have Lae'zel now (though I really don't like her much) & found the tiefling camp. Part of me wants to keep going & part of me wants to stop for now. It's still early-ish for me, so I'll probably keep going.

If anyone has any tips or advice, I'm all ears. I'm not sure if I'll add anything more, though.

I've got roughly 20 hours in. Probably half of that is just running around, exploring (because I look in every corner, container, and barrel so long as it isn't stealing) and the other half is actual combat.

I'm struggling to grasp the mechanics of spells and slots and how to pair things up for effective combos, but I'm still in Act 1, so I have time. And makers breath figuring out the camera angles is making me crazy.

I did get the owlbear cub and found Scratch. The Gale romance is chugging along nicely (just got the story about the orb tonight) and I'm doing my best to win Astarion over. Oh, and I literally just found Karlach before logging off for the night. I'm doing well with the whole not-googling-anything, too.

I'm already thinking about a Dark Urge playthrough for an OC that doesn't care about anyone or anything and will most likely really piss most of the companions off. We'll see...

30+ hours and I'm quite enjoying myself (at this rate I'll be at over 100 hours by the time I hit the end of the game). I admit I've been googling things more than I was, but not so that I don't make the 'wrong' choice. More to make sure I'm not missing anything or getting too far ahead of myself (I don't want to go to an area that's too high a level for me - the mountain pass popped a message saying I might want to be a bit stronger).

The Underdark is something else. I had to reload a save because some fucker pushed my Tav into a lava pit & I couldn't get her out. Nere is dead and those 2 goblins hugging just made me a little misty eyed.

On another note - I got the achievement for reading 100 books in one playthrough (and I'm still only in Act 1). So while I don't NEED to read any more, I most likely will because that's kind of my thing. Plus there's no telling what I might miss if I don't.

42 hours in and I just accidentally killed gale (blew up one of those stupid mushrooms in the underdark & he flew off the ledge in the blast). I have to say bringing him back via his protocols was the fucking greatest thing ever. I almost want to load another save & do it all again.

Update - I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything before heading into Act 2, so I found a checklist. Surprisingly, there wasn't much I wasn't able to get to - there were 2 people to save and I wasn't in time for that, I didn't learn an instrument, and there were maybe one or two other things but for the most part, I was done. I was pretty pleased with myself for having gotten so much done without a guide (which is how I usually play).

One of the things I did need to do was get the Lathander mace and in so doing, found out about one of the most hysterical things I've ever seen/had happen in a video game. If you just yank the weapon free, the building comes down and if Astarion is in your party...?? OMG, I laughed so hard when I had Withers rez him I needed my inhaler.

I'm romancing Gale and have some scenes for a fic in my head, but I don't know the character well enough yet to know if they'd work. The scene with Elminster had me thinking they might, but then I had a post-battle scene where he said about wanting to do... other things (iykyk) and now I'm not sure again. I guess it'll have to wait until later.

I finished what I could and am now in the Shadow-Cursed Lands. I called it quits when I found the Last Light Inn. I was going to play a little bit more today, but my cat had me up early and I wound up taking a nap, which meant I didn't have time to really do anything before having to go to work. I'm eager to explore these new areas, though.

Good lord I might finish this game before I retire. It doesn't help that I only REALLY play it 2 days a week (my days off); the other 5 days, I play if I can get more than an hour in.

So, let's see.... I'm at the Last Light Inn (or whatever it's called). Had to reload that Marcus fight SEVEN FUCKING TIMES. I finally won by using a Scroll of Colossus (or somesuch) on Isobel & she finally used some of her magic (which she hadn't fucking done the previous times). That fucking fight was almost as infuriating as trying to shut the garage doors in Archangel's basement in ME2 (iykyk). No, I didn't have anyone in party who knew Sanctuary. Yes, that will be rectified on a subsequent playthrough.

I had hoped that I might be on the tail end of this part, that maybe the Shadow-Cursed lands wouldn't take too long, but when I asked my son about it, he straight up laughed at me. "With the way you play, mom? You're looking at AT LEAST another week!". Sigh. It also doesn't help that I suffer from the same distractions when I try to write - internet searches, mobile gaming, starting to do one thing and having that turn into a dozen other things and the next thing I know it's an hour later... again, iykyk.

Tips, trick, and hints are always welcome - I don't mind spoilers. In fact, I quite enjoy them. I'll keep rebageling my progress, for those of you who are somewhat entertained by all of this.

OMG Y'ALL I HUGGED KARLACH!!! I damn near teared up - I love her so much! I signed off on Monday at the Gauntlet of Shar. I haven't had Shadowheart in my party, but I switched her out for Astarion just for this (I tend to find a party/squad I like and just stick with them. For this, it's been Astarion, Gale, and Karlach). I've managed to avoid quite a few fights by talking my way out of them, too.

I found Arabella's parents. I wasn't expecting that, considering their dynamic in Act 1, but if I was a DM, that's probably the way I'd have gone with it, too.

I've also been trying to figure out what gear & stuff to keep and what to get rid of. I'm one of those 'well, maybe someone could use it later!' kind of players and my inventory proves that. I'm constantly getting overencumbered, so poor Karlach winds up carrying a lot of my shit. I could probably get away with getting rid of some camp supplies, since I don't really long rest all that often (though I might change that up, considering I'm finding out a lot of stuff doesn't trigger until you take a long rest).

I'm already thinking about more playthroughs and playing as some of the companions. And I definitely want to try an Honour run at some point for those golden dice.

I realized what part of my problem is - every other game I've played that's been split into parts or acts has had some kind of major quest or battle to let you know you were moving on. This game does not and it feels very odd to me. I still feel like I've missed something in Act 1 (and tbh I have, but I don't know that it's all that important).

And Act 2 is equally massive, maybe more so, and I almost found myself locked out of Gale's romance - I'd been saving Moonrise for when I was done with everything else, but apparently the Gauntlet is the end all and if I had done that prior to Moonrise, I'd have locked myself out. So I booked it to Moonrise, did my long rest and got my romance scene.

Then I went back to the Inn because I found a lute to get Art to wake up. In so doing, the quest marker at Moonrise was gone. My son watched me do that scene (with the lute) and was dumbfounded - he didn't get that on any of his playthroughs (I think he's on #3...?). So even though I've discovered and am exploring Moonrise, I have the thing to protect Halsin at his portal and I am SUPER paranoid I'm going to miss something if I do one over the other. Google has been no help, either - just tips about defending the portal.

So I think I'm going to save before doing that & if worse comes to worse and i find out I should have done more at Moonrise first, so be it and I reload a save.

On another note, I watched a rather extensive video about Gale's romance and it's... heartbreaking. How he thinks he needs to use his magic and ascend to 'be more' for a romanced Tav just hurts. Fuck Mystra. Seriously.

Y'all, the way Astarion's voice cracks when he says this... I knew going in what kind of trauma he endured with Cazador, but actually hearing it in his voice just rips my heart out. When I met with that Drow blood dealer, I gave him the choice - I told him it was up to him but that we needed that potion. He did it anyway. Then when we talked about it at camp - he was angry and hurt and I felt horrible, but he didn't seem like he was mad at me. I honestly can't wait to crush Cazador under my fucking boot. Mad props to Neil Newbon for making me feel like this.

And Samantha Béart (Karlach) also gets mad props for the emotion she puts into that character. Holy shit, when she gets emotional, it makes me tear up. Sometimes I just want to reach through the screen and hug her.

On another note - Act 2 is done. I made that last boss fight harder than it needed to be, I think. Lessons learned for the next playthrough. And can we PLEASE get more fan content with Isobel and Aylin? PLEASE???

I'm currently in camp, talking to my peeps and getting ready for a long rest before heading to Baldur's Gate. And watching Scratch and the cub play together just makes my heart melt. This will be a good place to stop for the night.

Welp, today's gameplay was interesting. I went back and redid the Myrkul boss fight because I didn't have Gale with me the first time. I kinda forgot about the whole orb thing (don't judge - I'm old). Sure as shit, it was a LOT easier. It probably also helped that I knew what I was getting into, too. I still need more fan content with Isobel and Aylin, though.

I kinda knew about the attack at camp, but I didn't know when it happened. Talk about a 'what the fuck is happening' moment. I sided with the emperor and am half-squid now. Shockingly, no one but Gale will even consider doing it without some persuasion. I mean, you still have to persuade him, but the initial conversation doesn't immediately shut it down. I hate how Tav looks now, though. I hope these powers are worth it.

I kind of wish there was a way to turn down the ambient conversations in Rivington - so much is going on at the same time it rattles me. It's why I tend to stay home - crowds are too noisy and chaotic and I don't like it.

If you didn't have Karlach in your party when you got to the circus, YOU NEED TO RELOAD A SAVE. Her reaction is the most adorable thing. Also. Astarion got turned into a cheese wheel. I reloaded a save because I wasn't sure how he'd turn back and just decided to call it quits for the night.

My sleep has been super fucked up lately and I don't know why, so I'm trying to limit my screen time to see if that's part of it, otherwise I'd still be playing.

I definitely have BG3 brainrot. I already had a ton of plot bunnies for dragon age & mass effect and now I have drabble and one-shot ideas for this. I just wish I had the wherewithal to actually write. Ugh.

Not much of an update today - boring gameplay. Got into the city via killing all the guards and the Watcher thing (I've not been buying Arrows of Construct Slaying or whatever they are. Might have to start stocking up on those now). I REALLY need to pare down my inventory. I think half my carry weight is scrolls. Seriously.

Oh, I did the thing with Gale & the dryad at the circus. Ugh, my heart. Bought a statue, too. I do know when I do another playthrough, I'm not doing the half-squid thing. I really HATE how my tav looks now.

I might do a screenshot dump next week - been taking lots of pics via the xbox, then saving them to my phone via the glassapp. So. Many. Pictures.

OMG, GUYS I FOUND A PRECIOUS LITTLE CINNAMON ROLL!!! Naaber is potentially as annoying as Conrad Verner and I love him just as much!!! Bless his poor heart. I only wish you'd have bumped into him in each act - that would have been perfect.

Like, the poor guy probably has zero friends. He's my best bud now. I wish I could have invited him to camp - can you imagine the companions' reactions to his incessant talking??

And I'm really mad at myself for not playing around with changing up the camp clothing before now. Can I just say Gale looks hot as fuck in this ensemble?

I had this on my Tav first, but with the half-squid thing, I didn't like how she looked in it. And here's what I've got on Astarion...

Oh, and my Tav is currently wearing this whilst jaunting around camp...

And don't @ me about my inventory. I'm a hoarder. I know this - it's how I play. My son already gives me enough grief about it.

So, let's see.... I've watched Gortash become Archduke, told Raphael I needed to think about his deal (I'm probs going to take it), accidentally found my way into the prison to free Florrick, found the Iron Hand gnomes (again, accidentally), fought some smugglers & whatnot from the Shadowlands.... Oh, and I broke Wyll's pact. I did google that bit, so I'm going to try and save his dad on my own. I've got so much more on the map to find, too. A lot of what I'm doing is by just going where I haven't been yet. And saving. Lots and lots of saving.

I could not, for the life of me, find this post last week for an update. I must have closed the tab out or something amidst all the booping (which was great fun, btw).

I don't remember everything I did last week, so I might accidentally get myself out of order - apologies, but I am old and forgetful.

I was blazing through the city and found a 'manhole' and discovered the sewers. Killed some cultists, solved that cistern 'puzzle', then ran into Orin. Bitch kidnapped my druid, so I told her I'd kill Gortash for her (which I was planning to do anyway).

I've been working my way toward Cazador's place because I want to get Astarion's story wrapped up and keep getting sidetracked. Did anyone else about shit their pants at that random explosion with the blood drow chick from Act 2 (can't remember her name & I don't feel like googling it)? Haven't been able to find her since, though, but I did loot all her shit in what was left of the house.

Stumbled on Auntie Ethel's new place and during the fight with her minions in the bar, I found a rather powerful scroll in my inventory I'd wanted Gale to learn. Sadly, I hit level 12, which meant the only way I'd get it in his arsenal was to reload a save. The closest save I had that was still level 11 was over 4 hours of gameplay ago. Yes, I reloaded that save.

The good part of that, though, is I not only get to tell Gale he's having illusions of grandeur again, but I get that super romantic astral boat scene again, too. I keep seeing posts and articles about Gale being selfish and only thinking about becoming more powerful, but I can't help but think that's all in response to being under Mystra's thumb for so long. Like, he felt he kept needed to prove himself worthy of her affection or something, and that's where this ambition came from. I'm not saying he has no desire at all to learn and become a better/more powerful wizard, but his obsession with godhood, I think, is because of his relationship with Mystra.

I managed to save Figaro, bought some snazzy clothes from him for camp. Dressed Karlach like the goddess she is (I'll post pics later - they're on my phone and I'm on my laptop). I'm watching her idle animations as I'm typing this and she stands still about as well as I do (though she's a far better dancer). But the bouncing and swaying? I do that shit all the time.

I'm just trying to gear up for the remaining boss fights because I know they're gonna be tough and once I hit level 12 (again), I have to choose my shit carefully because I want to make sure my squad is as powerful as I can get them. I'm really looking forward to my next playthrough so I can use what I've learned this time through as well as try new stuff out (like multi-classing. I knew it was a thing, but I never thought about it, so now I have to figure out how to use that). Plus I really kind of want to do a Bloodweave playthrough...

This game will be the death of me.

I. Am. A. Fucking. Idiot.

I am, what... halfway? through Act 3 and ONLY JUST NOW figured out how to switch fucking spells around. JFC my next playthrough will be SO MUCH EASIER. Also, that means I reloaded that last fucking save for nothing. FML.

Anyhoo - I had to redo a bunch of stuff, including the fight in the park. Gale had See Invisibility which was fucking useless. I wound up casting Cloud of Daggers to get the inviso-guy to reveal himself. Google was no help - there's conflicting info about how exactly See Invisibility works. Some people are saying the invisible party has to succeed a saving throw and others were saying the seeing person has to succeed a throw. Regardless, it's messed up and it'd be cool if Larian would fix it.

Reloading the save also meant I had to redo that stupid cistern puzzle in the sewer again and listen to Orin tell me she has my damn druid again. Although hearing Karlach talk about Halsin being 'her' druid was nice. That might be a ship I didn't know I needed, though I'm not sure if it would work (I know at the end of the game she leaves to go back to the hells & I'm not sure Halsin would want to go along, especially since he's such a nomad).

Reloading also meant I got to do the astral boat scene again. I didn't notice before, but the orb's tendrils go up into Gale's face. It's really faint, but they're there.

Speaking of Halsin - I think my next playthrough will be as Gale & I'll romance Astarion so I can also get my hands on Halsin.

Can I also just say that I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF WATCHING SCRATCH AND THE CUB PLAY IN CAMP??? Those two are too damn adorable.

Did anyone else notice Jaheira feeding/talking to a rat in camp?

Auntie Ethel is no more. I felt bad for Mayrina, though. I convinced her to let Connor go. I also hit up the cemetery. Didn't know I maybe shouldn't have let that girl try her hand at necromancy, now the people in the mortuary are pissed at me. Oh, well. Also hit up Karlach's parents' gravesites. That was sad.

I played this game literally all day and all I really wanted to do was get to Cazador's palace and free Astarion. I kept getting sidetracked with other quests and shit and now that I'm actually at the palace door, it's after midnight and I know damn well this thing will probably take me hours (and several reloads) to get through, so here is where I stop for the week. I'll pick it back up on Saturday.

On another note, I really wish there was a better way to sort the inventory. Like a search feature, maybe? And previewing dyes would be fantastic, too. I also decided that since I'm at level cap and my squad is pretty well kitted out, I'm about done looting corpses and stuff. Might take a peek here and there, but I don't need camp supplies, I have a ton of gold, and the gear is all good. It should honestly also speed up my playthrough a little.

I still have to take care of Shadowheart's quest and find The Stone Lord/do Jaheira's quest. I might do all that after I take care of Cazador. Part of me also wants to ruin Gortash's day so I can get Halsin back ASAP.

Oh, am I the only one who pictures those fucking mutant wasps from New Vegas whenever that vampire's name gets mentioned? He's probably just as annoying and hard to kill as they are. Might have to commission some fan art of him surrounded by a swarm of those fuckers.

Updates might slow down soon, too. I'll be back to working 2 jobs again and will be working 60+ hours each week, including most (if not all) Saturdays for the next several months, so I'm not sure how much BG3 gaming I'll get done.

Oh, and I'm not sure if it was in this post or someplace else where I said about my Tav being taller than Gale and I loved it when they kissed. I fucking love how she has to tilt her neck down for him...

I still hate how she looks with the half squid thing. I don't think I'll be doing that ever again. The only one of those extra powers I find myself using is Black Hole and I don't even use that one much.

Things are moving along quite nicely. Hit up Lady Jannath's house and wasn't expecting to get pelted by random household objects. Last time something like that happened was in DA2

I also stole the Hammer of Just from under the tabernacle (I was looking for a scroll of remove curse for the necromancy of thay thing) and got Astarion cursed. Then when I removed said curse (thanks, Shadowheart - I never did find a scroll), we got attacked by a deva. Nothing earthshattering, just not something I was expecting.

I took care of Cazador and y'all, when I say I sat here and cried, I'm not kidding. I made the mistake of doing that fight while I was eating dinner, so the sobbing happened around mouthfuls of food. Also, Astarion/Sebastian is a ship I think I need to see more of. Astarion's voice when he realized who was in that cell, his screams when he finishes Cazador... that whole thing is just heart wrenching.

I also finished up Shadowheart's quest and again, crying.

While trying to find Minsc, I found Uldred Ravengard's diary. Saved it to give to Wyll. It's a shame there probably won't be any kind of interaction regarding it.

During the Minsc fight, I recognized Roah. Thing is, she never left, so I killed her. When I got back to the guildhall, she wasn't there, I didn't get a cutscene - just straight to the fight with the Zhentarim - and Nine Fingers died. So now I have no ally there. Hopefully it doesn't affect too much. I haven't googled yet to see if that's a known bug or what, but I hope it doesn't happen on the next playthrough. I was kind of looking forward to having a scene with Nine Fingers & Minsc about the Stone Lord.

I really do like Minsc - he's fun to talk to. And Boo - I wish we could talk to him & find out more about miniature giant space hamsters. At first I was irritated that Talk to Animals didn't work, then I remembered he isn't an animal - he's an alien.

But I've missed having Gale & Karlach in my party (I subbed them out for Jaheira and Minsc just for the Guild stuff), so it's back to camp I go to get them back, take a long rest, then bring down the Steel Watch. I'll probably be updating a little more often - I took this week off of Job 1 because Job 2 is getting started back up, so I'll probably have more time to play. I'd like to try and get the game done by the end of the week because from now until December, I'll be working 6 days a week and won't have much time to game.

Quick update - I decided not to reload a save to keep Nine Fingers alive. I'd already pretty much decided against it and when I talked to my kid, he said I probably had plenty of allies already, that not having either of those factions wasn't going to make much difference for the end fight. Plus I am playing on the easiest setting, so I'll just chalk it up to something to remember for the next playthrough.

I went into today's gameplay with the intent to take down the Steel Watch. I found the Society of Brilliance and picked up the quest to find Omeluum. Then I went to the docks and got the Wavemother quest. So now I have 4 quests tied into the Iron Throne (and from looking at a guide, it looks like the Steel Watch quest winds up there, too). So I've changed my play-plan to doing the Iron Throne first. I decided against playing that tonight as I ran out of spell slots/spoons. Probably tomorrow.

After that, I'll probably go kill Orin and get Halsin back. I was going to do the Steel Watch, then kill Gortash, then Orin, but everything I'm reading says it makes more sense to kill Orin first. My child agrees & said that's what he did (though I don't think he overthinks it like I do).

I also saved Volo. I'd rescued him back in Act 1 and started that eye surgery, but I stopped it part-way through because I didn't want Tav to die (found out after she wouldn't have). After that, he left my camp and I don't know why or where he went. So I was pretty surprised to see him turn up at the docks. My first try, he didn't get far enough away and things went boom. So I reloaded, got him untied, then gave him a shove to get him further away. Now he's back at camp.

I also found out that Lump's War Horn doesn't work outside of Act 1. I've been saving it, thinking I could use it for that final fight, so now I'm pissed that I didn't take advantage of it for some of the other crap I did way back at the beginning.

Did anyone else want to punch the guy in the Society for the way he talked about his experiment on the githyanki egg?? The more he talked about how his 'experiment' would go & what he would do if it failed... I was pretty pissed. Needless to say, I'm keeping it. Though I don't have Lae'zel (i killed her pretty early on when she attacked me in camp). I might keep her alive on the next run so I can give it to her to raise.

I also asked him about joining and he mentioned writing a 30,000 word assessment, then smirked. I thought, "Bitch, I've done NaNo for the past decade. 30k words is NOTHING."

So, yeah - the rest of the week will be the Iron Throne, then the Steel Watch, then kill Orin, then go after Gortash. Then I'll probably pull up a checklist and make sure I haven't forgotten too much because I have a feeling I'll be really close to end game once I've got the last of the Chosen taken care of.

The Iron Throne can eat a bag of dicks. That's it. That's the update.

Seriously - next time, Wyll keeps the pact to save his daddy. I'm not going through all that nonsense again. I managed to save EVERYONE in that fucking prison and it came down to the wire - I had one move left to get Tav on the sub. I made it but. Never. Again.

So I kind of forgot about Raphael. I think I'm going to hit up the House of Hope before I do anything else. I haven't accepted his deal, so I don't have to worry about stealing back the contract. My kid said that quest is a bitch, but not as bad as the Iron Throne. I want to do it at least once for the experience (and by experience I mean Haarlep), so when I play through again on a harder difficulty, I might not go through this part. We'll see.

I was able to play quite a bit this week - I took off of Job 1 so I could focus on Job 2 and that's part-time, so I got lots done.

Raphael is dead - I looked up a guide and the fight went much better than I thought it might. Did the whole Haarlep thing, let him add Tav's body to his glamour. Got a cut scene later about that with Astarion and he's very sympathetic about the whole "other people taking control of your body from you" thing. I had Gale with me for each thing and he had nothing to say about fucking an incubus or what happened after. Disappointing. I guess that's what fanfic is for, eh?

I've been spamming the hell out of scrolls to save my spell slots, so I've been hitting up all the different merchants to buy what I could. I went back to Sharess' Caress and picked all of the locks to the different rooms & found the dryad and the tadpoled Fist. That fight got me the Rapture buff, so I figured I'd take advantage of those perks and go whoop Orin's ass for taking my druid.

The murder tribunal fight was easier than I thought it would be. It took for-fucking-ever, though, because fucking Sarevok kept dodging my attacks. And I mean ALL of my attacks. I had probably half a dozen summoned creatures/things/whatevers that missed every damn time. He was just delaying the inevitable and died like the rest of the baddies who've crossed my path.

Yeah, been spamming the hell out of summoning things, too. That Danse Macabre and elementals make for good cannon fodder.

So when I found Orin, I did the whole 'talk to her dead mother' thing and used that to keep Halsin alive. I got screwed over on the initiative rolls, though, so I wasn't able to get rid of her Unstoppable buff before it was her turn again. I wound up sending an elemental to deal with the 5 people who buff her while the rest of my squad just tried to avoid her bullshit. She died, too, though, just like her daddy/granddaddy. Now all that's left is Gortash. And Ansur.

Went back to Wyrm Rock Fortress to access the prison for Ansur and EVERYONE was aggro on me. Did a google check and it's because I docked at the iron throne. Fair dinkums, but I wasn't expecting it and got my ass handed to me. I mean, I still won, but went through a lot of scrolls and potions to do it.

I looked at a checklist to make sure I was getting everything done since I'm super close to the netherbrain fight, and I'm kind of pissed at how much I missed. That's what i get for not taking my time in Act 3 like I did in 1 & 2. There were huge chunks of the map I'd left unexplored and therefore missed some interactions & side quests. At this point, though, I just want to finish the game. My work load will be doubling starting this week and I probably won't have the time or energy to play more than once a week. I might actually get around to uploading screenshots, too, one of these days.

Played a bit before Job 1 today - Job 2 didn't need me, so I had some time. I took care of Ansur and had a 'holy fucking shit' moment. I know I didn't know much about the plot going into all of this but I did know some things about some of the companions & the Emperor, but how did I not know THAT about the fucking Emperor???? To me, that's some fucking top-tier DM plot twisting going on.

So I'm pretty sure all that's left for me to do now is the Steel Watch, Gortash, and the netherbrain. I don't have any loose ends in my journal and if there are any unexplored areas, I'll try to get them on my next playthrough (which might not happen until next winter), so I'll probably just try and plow through and get everything done.

Steel Watch - Destroyed. It was a LOT easier than I thought it was going to be. I kind of wish I would have just done that the last time I played.

Gondians & Iron Hand - getting along because I told Barcus to take over & Wulbren to fuck off.

Gortash - Dead. And all I fucking wanted after that mess was an option to hug Karlach.

I'm literally right at the edge of starting the netherbrain bullcrap. Made a ton of potions & elixirs, stocked up on scrolls (to save spell slots), did a bunch of summons. I quit out because I don't like to game much past midnight & it's just past 11 here and I know it'll take me WAY longer than an hour to get through what's left. Hopefully I get done with Job 2 early enough on Saturday to get through what's left. Otherwise it'll be next week until I get it done.

I was really thinking about doing an honour mode run because I tend to be a completionist, but with how I struggled during this playthrough on the easiest setting, I'm not sure that'll be in the cards for me. I'm thinking my next run will be a durge, romancing either Gale (again) or maybe Astarion. I haven't decided yet, but I doubt I'll get another run started before November.

it’s me i’m girls