Behold, the collage of me.

Of course this somehow manages to happen

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

happy 10 years of spiders georg everyone

The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.

Wait…what?

Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄

also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck

snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.

seriously though check out his cookbook its beautiful

and filled with lgiht humor, legit cooking, and charming life stories

Whenever I think about snoop I remember that episode of cribs where he lived in an unusually modest house compared to everyone else on that show, spent the entire time with his young daughter hugging onto his leg and dragging her around as he walked. He even talked about how he didn’t want his kids to be musicians and that he just wants them to have a chance at a normal life / he doesn’t wish music career drama on anyone

The dude is mega down to earth for having a networth of 135 million dollars and staying relevant for longer than some of the top charting musicians have been alive

he says he keeps a supply of poptarts in the house for his nieces/nephews and grandkids but admits theyre really for him and then goes on to discuss what selection of condiments your fridge should have to jazz up leftover takeout hes one of the most thoroughly human humans ive ever known of

Doesn’t he also coach football for kids, and stops smoking during the season to set a good example for the kids?

all these people going on about how Hozier is the peak representation of musical soft masculinity when Snoop has been out here rocking the smoothest braids and most hype manicures for decades

Have you seen his Planet Earth voiceover video? It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. Man knows nothing about otters

Plizzanet Earth is a joy. Here’s the playlist:

Why has no one ever told me about Plizzanet Earth oh my god

Snoop is legit; don’t come for him. 

He also did an episode of Storybots and my kids adore the computer man. Which is wild to me. Cuz I remember gangster rap Snoop. And we love and support Snoop in this house.

Love him, great man

The indirect metaphors weren't working so G-d had to escalate.

One of the things I love about these ridiculously huge instruments is that so few of them historically existed that the origin and lineage of every single one of them is known, and a knowledgeable curator can pick one up and rattle off its story like some sort of magic sword – yet they’re not novelties or prestige pieces, and famous composers wrote whole bodies of work around which specific giant instruments their local orchestra happened to have gotten their hands on. They literally shaped the history of music by the simple virtue of being Big.

On the far other end of Contrabass Instruments, it it my delight to present to you,

Amy Shackleton is an award-winning artist based in Canada whose paintings have been exhibited nationally, as well as in the United States and the United Kingdom. In addition, her art has been featured in publications such as Huff Post, Galo Magazine, Luxe Magazine, etc. Shackleton's pieces depict an uncertain future where cities blend with nature. Her distinctive compositions are most often created using acrylics on canvas.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

From the makers of "this meeting could have been an email" we present: this universal moral dictum could have been a personal boundary

worst thing people did was turn the incredibly personal experience of being lgbt into strict definitions and rules and then ridicule and harass others who don't fit into their neat boxes, as if that isn't what we were trying to run away from this whole time.

Part 2

No offence, but Alan Turing didn't kick the Nazis' collective ass for you to run around saying that you're too gay to learn mathematics.

Look I know everyone is getting the porn bot follows but like .. what's are they even for? What's the point of them? What are they trying to accomplish?

Okay, so... tumblr is 'free' right? It costs nothing to create an account and utilize the service. So the startup costs of running a pornbot army is zero, right?

Wrong!

Shady websites sell kits to create/operate pornbot networks. You pay $$$ for an engine and a collection of scripts tuned for various free websites. And apparently (I guess) there is a new tumblr script that comes preloaded with a zillion girlie names + 3 digits, so all the prospective pornbot meister has to do is start the script with some seed values and wait for their bot army to grow.

In order to fly beneath the radar, these scripts operate in stages. First they create the account then follow a few high profile blogs. THAT is why, when they first follow you, they're just a generic stolen cheesecake pic named (randomly generated name) ChestyMoorbutt754 with an otherwise empty profile.

Then after a preset number of days/weeks they start blogging 'content' like bit.ly links to malware or whatever. Along with some legit-looking reblogs to keep up appearances. All these scripted behaviors are configurable.

Their hope is that some certain percentage of idiots will (1) click thru the hosted links to an intermediary landing page (with ads, naturally) that acts as a portal to buy subs for OnlyFans, Sinder etc, or (2) interact with an actual chatbot that eventually convinces the poor schmuck to enter their credit card info so it can be hijacked.

We're seeing a new flood of bots NOW because twitter is floundering and all the talk about twitter alternatives (like tumblr) has caught the attention of the guys who make/sell pornbot tools.

Who are the ones REALLY making profit off all of this. Not the pornbots themselves, but the darkweb dweebs who sell the accounts & kits. Because selling access to pornbot armies is guaranteed income whereas who the hell knows how successful any given pornbot will be in the wild. After awhile, the pornbot army gets detected & shutdown or the customer running the botnet get disillusioned and quits or both... then the cycle begins anew with new sheep to be fleeced.

Just like in the 1840s gold rush era, it wasn't the miners who got rich; it was the guys selling picks & shovels.

i saw the words “ur not the first person in your lineage to be queer” and it’s rocking me to my core. how many generations down the line did one of my ancestors feel the way i did, feel differently than i did and so damn queerly it was a crime? how many of us were there? did they have hope? did they find peace? i don’t know. at the very least, maybe i am proof their identity was never wasted. reincarnated.

tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute

who did you have to kill to get that URL

this is the perfect post. an already fantastic opening line. but while youre distracted by that, the next guy fucking smacks you in the face with cock

Those actually aren’t porn bots it’s the Seattle polycule they joined tumblr

You drop a small piece of food on the floor, and decide to kick it under the oven/couch/whatever because you can’t be bothered to pick it up. As you’re walking away, you hear a very quiet “Thank you!” from under it.

“No problem,” I say, the words passing out of my mouth on autopilot, before my brain engages and I freeze.

I turn, and look at the fridge. It seems to be the same fridge that was here when I moved in. 

I mean, I’m also kind of embarrassed. I never do that, I know that’s how you get roaches, but my back hurts so bad that getting up and down is next to impossible, much less bending over. “Um, you holding up okay down there?” I ask.

There was silence. 

“I know that we’re probably the only apartment in the building that doesn’t have a bug problem. That’s, well, that’s you, right?”

Again, silence. But I know I heard it.

“Listen, I can’t really bend over right now, but if you’re down there and hungry, like, there’s half a rotisserie chicken in there that’s about to go bad. I was going to throw it away, but if you could use it-”

“Yesssss. Please.” 

Well. Whatever it is, it’s well-mannered, anyway.