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Sup.

@batfamisnowmylife / batfamisnowmylife.tumblr.com

I am in way too many fandoms.
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“May you have a life of safety and peace”, said the witch, cursing the bloodthirsty warrior.

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meg-moira

The words of the slain hold tremendous power.

It’s why any sensible warrior is a master of swift endings. Such as an arrow through the eye or a clean separation of head from shoulders. In a pinch, a slit throat will do. Though it really is best to avoid giving your enemy the chance to make even garbled curses out of their last bloody breaths. For even those without the slightest touch of magic have been known to make a curse stick if it’s uttered on the cold brink of death.

Eindred the Bloody collected curses in the same way that other warriors collected scars. Even in the wild chaos of battle, he was known to take a knee, pressing his ear to a felled enemy’s laboring lips.

May your every loved one die screaming in pain.

I hope you die with your eyes stabbed out and your heart in your hands.

You will never know happiness.

Your existence will be suffering.

May your greatest enemy rise from the grave and never leave you alone.

The last was his most recent curse, and Eindred wondered if it meant some great murdered brute was tracing his steps, waiting to catch him while he slept.

Eindred crossed the peninsula with a company of barbaric warriors, gaining a new curse from every enemy he felled. Not all of them would stick, he knew. But some undoubtedly would. And he would deserve every one.

Others in his company treated him with to wary, sidelong glances, because surely it was dangerous to travel with one so cursed as he. But Eindred was a force in battle, relentless and unstoppable as an icy winter gale, and so they swallowed their complaints, and contented themselves with leaving a wide berth on either side of his scarred, patchwork arms.

Eindred was marching at the back of the company when they came upon the village. It was a collection of squat, wooden homes tucked beneath a snow capped mountainside. From thatched rooftops, wisps of smoke from cooking fires rose, painting the blue sky in pale, meandering strokes. 

This company tended to leave such settlements alone, and Eindred was glad for it. No warriors would be found in tiny mountainside villages, and though he might live to fight, he had no interest in wholesale slaughter. 

This time, however, the company leader - a silent, brutish man, held up a hand.

Their company was running low on food, it turned out, and even from a distance, the warriors could see the village’s sheep - a trail of white spots on the green hillside.

Eindred was disappointed when, ultimately, violence erupted in the quiet village, though he did not lay down his thick handled blade.

The shepherd boy had refused to give up his master’s sheep, and when he shouted, a blacksmith had burst from his home, wielding a great hammer in his hand. 

The battle was short. 

When all was done, four lay dead. The shepherd, the blacksmith, and two young men who’d foolishly taken up crude wooden spears. The rest of the villagers huddled, terrified in their homes. The warriors expected to slaughter the sheep with no further trouble, but when they turned back to the field, an individual stood blocking their way.

His hair was dark - as the hair in these parts tended to be, and his face was sharp, both nose and cheeks splattered with freckles. Golden eyes beheld the warriors, and he watched them with a steady, measured gaze. Without the slightest hint of fear, he stood before them, his simple robe fluttering in the icy mountain’s breath, and said: “These are simple people. They have little in way of money or goods. It wasn’t for nothing that the shepherd, blacksmith, and teenagers died. They need these sheep. And I cannot allow you to take them.”

The other warriors in the company laughed at the young man’s foolishness - for that was what it looked like to them. Eindred did not laugh, however. Though the stranger’s voice was light, the air stirred around him. 

It was rare to encounter one who commanded magics. Rare - but not impossible. And so Eindred alone was unsurprised when the young man turned his golden eyes to the heavens and summoned great branches of lightning which cleaved the skies above them. The world erupted and the men around Eindred screamed.

Eindred, who’d expected something like this, had already begun running. 

Later, he would think it odd that the witch hadn’t bothered to move. But in the heat of battle, with lightning splitting the field at his back, Eindred’s attention had narrowed to the rough point of his blade - and then, the crimson place where it pierced the witch’s chest.

The skies silenced as Eindred pulled the wet, crimson blade free of its target. 

It took just a moment for the witch to fall, but in that single, infinite moment, Eindred was subjected to the full weight of that golden gaze.

Legs folding beneath him, the witch crumpled, collapsing back onto the wild, wet grass. Eindred knelt beside him, grimly eager to hear the curse and be done with it. Surely a curse at the lips of one so powerful as this would finally bring an end to things? 

To take one’s own life was an unspeakably shameful end for a warrior such as he. But a curse? Well, one couldn’t help how the wrong curse might speed things along.

The witch’s black hair was damp from the dew in the grass, and when he turned, it stuck to the side of his face and neck. His mouth opened and closed. Holding his breath, Eindred leaned in.

“-my hut…it’s just past…the next hill over,” the witch whispered. “In it, I keep medicines and herbs. For the villagers. And travelers who pass.”

Eindred shook his head. He didn’t understand.

Impossibly, the witch smiled. When he lifted a hand, Eindred twitched, expecting to be struck.

The witch’s bloodied finger, however, did nothing more than tap his chest. And then, in a wet, rattling breath, the witch, with his great power finally spoke his curse. 

“May you live a life of safety and peace.” 

Eindred sat, his thick, scarred knuckles braced in the dirt as the cold mountain wind whistled down the hillside at his back.

“What?” he whispered. 

But the young man’s golden eyes were blank and empty, and the other warriors lay dead in the field. Only the relentless wind snapped and whistled in answer.

Eindred left.

Within a month, he’d joined up with another company. And it soon became clear  the witch’s death rattle had been a curse of great power indeed. For wherever Eindred traveled, peace inevitably followed. Enemy warriors surrendered and when they didn’t, members within Eindred’s own company had sudden changes of heart. As for Eindred himself, not a single person would raise a blade against him, and Eindred had never been the sort who could raise his own blade against one who had no wish to fight.

And so for another month he wandered, hapless, without even the dark purpose of collecting curses which had driven him for the last several years. 

He’d been raised with a sword in his hand, brought up knowing full well that his job in life would be to cut short the existence of any who stood against him. Not even thirty, and his soul was exhausted, worn ragged by such an life. And so, he’d sought a way out if it. Eindred had accumulated a terrifying number of curses - curses which would surely have felled lesser men than he. Before everything had gone wrong in the tiny village, he’d been sure it was only a matter of time before they overcame him.

But now, the witch’s single curse had overpowered them all.

Eindred was safer than he’d ever been in his life. He’d never known such a quiet, terrible peace. 

After another month, he returned to the mountainside village. He didn’t have any good reason to return - other than perhaps the distant hope that a villager’s rage might be enough to overcome the curse. As he climbed the grassy hillside, he resigned himself to potential death by club or rake.

THIS is one of the best short stories I have ever read! Well done @meg-moira

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anywigwilldo

Reblog, click the picture, and prepare for battle.

after a while i became convinced that the words were mocking me

Nothing happened. 

I WAS PROMISED A BATTLE

*throws down gauntlet*

Edit: Went back. This is the best thing to happen to my dashboard ever.

Reblogging again because my followers need to see this. To be clear, rebog, go to your actual blog, then click the picture. 

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penandpage

aight

OH MY GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

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thornsword

DO IT

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20053

WOW IT REALLY IS SOMETHING FREAKING GOOD PLEASE CHECK IT OUT

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warp6

Okay, if this is a rickroll I swear to…

1) It was not a rickroll

2) It was super awesome!

3) No jumpscare or anything designed to freak you out, so doesn’t need an unreality warning (YMMV, of course).

Suspicious but curious. Curiosity wins!

attention all writers following me- try this or you will lament.

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viperbranium

EVERYONE TRY THIS (you gotta go to your on blog to click on it!)

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boopifer

OK THIS IS THE COOLEST

I’m curious…

I’m also curious…

i bet 100 beans nothing will happen

*edit*

I lost 100 beans …

Alright lets see what happens

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@qatarairways gimme my refund. I was supposed to go on a wonderful trip with my friends that was cancelled because of covid! I have sent emails, I have called 6 TIMES (about to call a 7th) it has been FOUR MONTHS since they told me that I would be getting a FULL REFUND but noooooooo. "It sHoulD rEfleCt in YouR aCoUnt in 14 DaYs". Laughable.

Plz signal boost this, if I ain't getting my money I'm gonna drag Qatar Airways through the mud.

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Daminette/Maribat MASTERLIST

Here’s a masterlist of Daminette/Maribat Fics/Hcs/Prompts/AUs if you’re trying to find or want to reread them again. Will update the list when I have time.

Oh my god there’s so much for such a new pairing 💜💜💜

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Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

imageimage

I am risking nothing

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I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

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twirliest

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

2.5 million notes I hate myself

I reblogged this twice now

I’m so sorry this isn’t b99 related and this isn’t real but I can’t not skip this I’m sorry

Not taking a fucking chance

Sorry, guys, but Im not taking a chance

No chances… She’s out… And she must be protected.

How dare you

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riarkling

Whatcha doin to me Farkle!

i can’t risk it

sorry babes my moms just my favorite person ever

Sorry I can’t risk it

Fuck sorry guys  I love my mom

Omg I hate these things but I am paranoid. So sorry guys.

2.8 million notes

CANT RISK IT

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trapbvby

Sorry guys

sorry 😩

IM NOT RISKING IT

Not risking it

No way

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This fake yarn is supposedly better for sheep.

Aimed at people who don’t know where wool comes from, it’s 100% plastic. Yes, plastic.

So any garment you wash will release microfibres into the sea. It’ll never decompose.

You’re supposed to believe that sheep shearing is violent and cruel. There are imbeciles out there that work in an unprofessional manner while shearing, but that’s not the case overall.

Sheep don’t suffer from having their fleece removed.

Left on, the fleece can become a home for fly eggs and the subsequent maggots which can eat the sheep. Chemical treatments are available to prevent that happening. It’s much better for the sheep, the land and the farmer to avoid chemical use.

Don’t be fooled. Wool is a sustainable material, one we should make more and better use of.

PREACH!!

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YOU NIQQAS WANNA LEARN ELVISH?! HERE YA GO!

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idareu2bme

is this legit?

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stut--ter

This is legit. My husband, sitting across the room, looks over and says, “IS THAT SOMEONE SHOWING HOW TO CONVERT ENGLISH TO TENGWAR?  BECAUSE THAT’S THE WAY!”

Believe this man.  He owns atlases of Middle Earth, the complete history of Midle Earth (leatherbound), and has read the books at least 150 times.  Also: speaks elvish.

Yes.

Tolkien nerd, can confirm. I never got really good at it, but I had a friend that was so good she wrote her notes in church in elvish script, and this was how she did it.

Huh. Who knew? 

I feel so in the know.

Reblog for future reference

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how girls ACTUALLY play with dolls

i had a barbie collection. a dozen barbies, with cool costumes and gimmicks (one could yo-yo. she could yo-yo. reflect on that). in comparison, i had one (1) ken doll. barbies were valuable merchandise and when my parents let me get one, no way was i wasting it on a boring ass ken. (i grabbed him from clearance. he wore swim trunks.)

Now the point of dolls is to act out stories. my stories had everything you would expect from a kid–drama, romance, magic, apocalyptic adult situations, necromancy, happy family play time, etc. With a 12:1 female-to-male doll ratio, most of the storylines naturally ended up being between women. 

It didn’t end there. eventually I acquired a toddler doll, and tiny twin babies. i decided barbie needed a co-parent to raise her burgeoning family. naturally, i chose my favorite doll, the cute redhead with pigtails*. 

and that’s the accidentally incredibly lesbian story of how barbie dolls led my 9 yo self to deeply emotionally invest in the imagined domestic adventures of two stylish wlw lovingly raising their 3 children.

*i now realize, i have a thing for pretty redheads with freckles, and it started young

**the cute redhead was indeed the one who yo-yoed

“accidentally incredibly lesbian” is one of my favorite descriptions now

I had a pretty blonde one that came in a dog walk set (I cut her hair but did really good job so I was proud of it) and I always made two of my girl dolls “live together” (usually my other pretty dark haired one with dark red lipstick) and raise a kid. (I lived in a strict christian household meaning same sex couple=bad so they were “friends”) honestly most of my “storylines” ended up with a dramatic death and magic involved (and my brother would bring ninja turtles and power rangers to have epic fight scenes)

i fucking love it

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ilovestamon

Since I only had one or two boy dolls i would take the hollow barbies I had and I would cut their hair and push the boobs inwards to create a boy to date my girls.

Trans and lesbian barbies

*through tears* fucking superb

Hahaha, I remember the storyline that I used to play with my three barbies. Two were blondes and one was a brunette who was evil. They were all sisters and the brunette was jealous of her sisters because they were 'prettier', so she would kidnap them tie them up and hang th over a pool of lava until they swore that she could be the prettiest sister.

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Look who finally arrived!!!!!

I've had Hawkmoth for months (cuz nobody wanted to buy him) but because the shipments to the stores in my city were random, I was going in every two weeks to try and grab a Ladybug and Chat Noir. I finally gave up and ordered them from Amazon and they arrived today and now my set is complete. I am SOOOO HAPPY!!!!!

P.s the display cases are from Daiso cuz I hate dusting figurines.

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The little details are the ones that annoy me

lets talk about these books (fantastic series, do recommend) but WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF THE COVER DESIGN!?!?!?!?!!!!

Book 1 and 3 - lets use the Hindu-Arabic numeral system. Nice and easy

Book 2 - LETS SCREW WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT PRESENTATION AND SWITCH TO THE ROMAN NUMERIC SYSTEM!!!!!

WHY FOR THE LOVE IF ALL THAT IS SACRED IN THIS WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT!!! JUST WHYYYYYYY!?!?!?

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FINISHED ACOFAS: SPOILERS

Okay, first of all I loved the book. I dont know why half of yall are so upset about it. Sarah gave us an AMAZING bridge book to tide us over, and QUEEN MAAS IS LITERALLY ABOUT TO POP OUT A TINY HUMAN. BE GREATFUL.

Second, people are so pissy over how the IC dealt with Nesta’s depression/PTSD in the book and I’m already over it. Let me remind you, bitch, that LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE IC IS DEALING WITH SOME DEGREE OF DEPRESSION/PTSD And everyone deals with that shit differently. Feyre and Elain are still healing, and have ALLOWED our precious Rhysie and friends to help them! There have always been hands out for Nesta, and Rhys has never turned her away even though he (rightfully) dislikes her for how she’d treated Feyre for so long. There has always been a support system waiting to help her. She’s the one trying to bite off the fingers of every hand that reaches out to her, and then wonders why people eventually stop trying to do so.

Thirdly, FEYRE DARLING DOESN’T OWE NESTA SHIT! That woman, ahem female, spent YEARS providing for her older sisters and father, never once expecting or receiving a thank you, but always getting ass to kiss and disdain from NESTA in return. Even after the bullshit with Hybern Feyre tried over and over to reach out to Nesta, to understand and help her sister. Feyre has MORE than earned her happiness, and MORE than earned the right to send Nesta’s grown ass to Illyria to sort out her problems. Nesta needs to get her shit together. My High Lady has a territory to run, and a continent to piece back together.

Don’t get it twisted, I absolutely love Nesta’s character. I love that she’s flawed, and not smiling and perky, that she doesn’t radiate light. I love that she’s cold, and calculating, and intelligent, and hard as hell to get close to. I just don’t like how people are holding FEYRE accountable for Nesta’s choice in how to deal with her Depression/PTSD. I’m excited to see where Queen Maas takes us with Nesta’s story. And when all is said and done I hope that she truly, deeply makes peace with those that she’s scorned for loving her in all her flawed glory.

Okay, rant over

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Who is in for a game?

I’m bored and want to play a game, who is in?

So the game I want to play is finish the Disney lyrics.

I will give you two sentence of a song and you will finish it.

We will try to finish the whole song with all the people who want to play.

Okay! Let’s do this.

First one who read this answers, the second one answers the first. So look in de comments how far the song is.

Try to finish the lyric but not more than two sentences!

‘Look at this stuff. Isn’t it neat?’

“Wouldn’t you think my collections complete?”

Wouldn’t you say, I’m the girl, the girl, who has everything?

Look at this trove

Treasures untold

(Please try to make this a long post in reblogs, because I love to see the whole song in reblogs)

How many wonders can one cavern hold?

Looking around here you think

Sure, she’s got eeeeeverythiiiiiing

I’ve got gadgets and gizmos a plenty

I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore!

You want thingamabobs I got 20

But who cares

No big deal

I want more

I wanna be

where the people are

I wanna see

Wanna see em dancing

Walking around on those

What do you call them? oh feet

Flippin’ your fins you don’t get too far

Legs are required for jumpin, dancin

Strolling along down a

(What’s that word again?) street

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tog-trash

UP WHERE THEY WALK

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sassyreads

Up where they run

Up where they stay all day in the sun!

Wandering free

Wish I coul be

Part of that WOOOOOOOOOORLD

What would I give, if I could live

Outta these waters?

What would I pay

To spend a day

Warm on the sand?

Betcha on land

They understand

Bright young women

Sick of swimming

Ready to stand

Aaaand Ready to know what the people knooow

Ask m my questions and get some answers

What is a fire?

And why does it (whats the word) BUUURRRRNNNN

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