fake ah crew headcanon
the los santos police force is always chasing after criminals, but most of the bad guys get away. when they return to the station, they have to fill out the paperwork but never know who to blame the crimes on
so they start hedging their bets and blaming the members of the fake ah crew for everything. petty theft, speeding tickets, if they need a name, they write down one of the most infamous ones in the city, adds the crime to their mile-long rap sheets, and figures no one will ever catch on. besides, the fake ah is probably responsible for half this shit anyways and who really cares
they get away with it too until michael gets arrested and, upon seeing his criminal record, swears that he wouldn’t be caught dead in some red minivan and besides he was “out of town on february 3rd, you cocksuckers”
after the resulting investigation, everything in the crew’s records get expunged because no one can figure out what they really did and what they were just blamed for, much to the annoyance of the police, FIB, and the majority of los santos
then the crew sets the police station on fire as a “fuck you we’re professional criminals why would you blame us for the theft of some lady’s vase”