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not a chance

@tolivers / tolivers.tumblr.com

guess who is back with a vengence and a big fuckin gay crush on lena luthor
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one thing i don’t think sam wilson is given enough credit for is his first interaction with steve. sam was employed by the department of veteran affairs, specifically to help people with ptsd and to run support groups. he recognizes someone suffering from the condition when he sees them, even if that someone is captain america. 

he eases his way into conversation with steve, keeping it light, and then says “must have freaked you out coming home from the whole desfrosting thing”

& then steve sighs, looks away, makes the below face, and says “takes some getting used to” & immediately tries to extract himself from the conversation. this isn’t something that steve talks about. he says it was nice to meet sam, and begins to walk away. 

the thing is, no one has pushed on steve. they ask him how he’s doing, he gives them some vague, bullshit response, and they let it go. but not sam. he knows that if he lets steve walk away, if he doesn’t extend a branch right now, he’ll never see him again & there may never be another person who will be capable or willing to provide him the help//support he so desperately needs. 

so sam says, “its your bed, right? your bed. it’s too soft.” its a small, personal, but largely universal detail that stops steve in his tracks. he’s caught off guard and vulnerable. 

& when sam asks steve if he misses the “good old days”, he’s actively studying steve, taking in his body language and what he says 

when steve is about to leave, sam extends one more branch, and he says “anytime you want to stop by the va, and make me look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know” , which is an important distinction from “come down to the va for a support group meeting” 

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anxiety brain: IM GOING TO DIE ALONE AND UNCARED FOR

the other side of my brain which is wearing a hawaiian shirt: [cracks another sparkling water] yeah probably

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