;)))))))))))

HAPPY BIG CANADA DAY 150 WHOOOOO

never forget that australias first ever winter olympics gold was won because the guy was coming dead last and everyone in front of him fell over

its happening

even better

the only reason he was in the final was bc the same thing happened in the semis

and the only reason he was in the semis was bc one of the guys that came ahead of him in the quarters was disqualified

i’m not sure if he’s the luckiest skater alive or a skater that has the power to curse other competitors.

i’ve been laughing non stop for the past like 10 minutes

I’ve come to inform you all the Ancient Greeks spelled Thoth, the Egyptian deity, as Θώθ

hey, thanks! now die

@rosecowboy

Look at him

“If ur happy and you know it say meow” “meOwwWWW!!!”

I’m bookmarking this and whenever I am depressed I’m just gonna watch this Wholesome Video

This just cured my heartburn and stomachache

good, pure. Wholesome

What TV writers think is good LGBT representation: *protagonist teary eyed* My attraction to the same gender is so painful I wish I did not feel this way…but alas it’s my burden to bear. Also I have dated both men and women but I don’t like labels. *dies* What is actually good LGBT representation: *protagonist wearing sunglasses playing the saxophone in front of a giant bisexual flag* How am I doing? Well I’m just getting BI!!! Haha get it?? Because I like both men and women so I’m bisexual. 

That picture doesn’t do this scene justice, it’s a musical number:

This shook my very existence

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE?? THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME.

imo he was being super salty about that tendency guys have to blame their anatomy for their bad choices

it’s like “oh i don’t want to be a creepo but my dick has a mind of its own” “well here’s a scissors fix your life”

or maybe, you know, have some damn respect, and don’t pretend you don’t have a choice of whether to be nasty

i think people have a tendency to take jesus literally when he was actually throwing shade, or to take things in this really smarmy martyrish way when they’re actually pretty snippy

i mean “turn the other cheek” sounds like being a doormat until you picture how it would play out: someone smacks you, and you turn and go “do it again, go on, take a swing buddy, does that make you feel better, do you feel like a winner now?” cuz you know what 90% of the time they will get curled up shame toes and shuffle off

tl;dr: no jesus did not actually want you to take a spoon to your eyeballs for babe watching, he wanted you to take responsibility for how you treat people

All of the actions Jesus told his followers to perform are actually passive-aggressive actions meant to oppose and resist Jerusalem’s Roman colonizers. Like, turning the other cheek is actually a matter of forcing the Roman to either break proper slapping etiquette or to hit you properly- thereby treating you as an equal instead of someone he’s subjugating. If a debtor is taking all your possessions in court, you include the shirt off your back so his greed is causing you to commit public nudity. And when a soldier forces you to carry his equipment (as per the law of the time), you go the extra mile with him- literally carrying his bag beyond the distance that the law stipulates and therefore making the action illegal.

Context matters.

Jesus was a radical, rebellious, snarky twentysomething. Always remember that.

A Jesus post I’m here for.

Canon Jesus is always 100% better than current fanon Jesus

Solar Eclipse 2017

back in my day we didn’t call it “shitposting”, we called it “nightblogging” and blamed the australians

I’ve been on this god forsaken website for too long.

ok there is a difference between nightblogging and shitposting nightblogging is like “what if apples screamed when we bit them?” shitposting is like “a crisp one donger bill”. nightblogging has more of a focus on theoreticals, especially in stating absurd thoughts in normal ways. shit posting is more often the opposite, stating normal things in ways that make them absurd. “a crisp one dollar bill” isn’t funny or unusual, but replacing “dollar” with the absurdist internet word “donger” is what makes it funny & thus a shitpost. it’s not necessarily that one is more coherent, but that they’re differentiated both by form and by lexicon. nightblogging is surrealism, shitposting is dada

that makes so much sense, i understood all of it, completely and totally changed my views of thinking

what if a crisp one donger bill screamed when we bit them

that’s what u call a nightshit

why are there so many days?? i feel like we just had a whole day yesterday… they don’t stop

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

woah.

it got better

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!

i take the R out of pretty

do u ever have a thought that’s so fuckin inappropriate that u feel like dumping a bucket of water on urself like. calm down, self. tone it down. think about jesus