a date with death is actually the perfect game for people who like men who whimper, whine, and on occasion, moan

i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

Ok now we have a booping feature I propose to tumblr next ides of March we have a stabbing counter and the person with the most stabs gets crowned Caesar and the blog with the most stabbings gets crowned Brutus

Jokes on you @fortheloveofdata my posts don’t break containment

It seems I have fallen victim to hubris

my only complaint is that the paws appear when you boop someone and not when someone boops you. I want to be scrolling and minding my own business and suddenly get whapped by a cat paw

(I will boop everyone who reblogs this post, for the record 💖)

my partner doesn’t use pet names nearly as much as i do, which is very funny because i will crack my gay little knuckles and say some shit like “good morning my sun and moon, my loveliest boy, my baby my sweetheart my darling dearest” and he will reply “hello adrian”

reblog only if you’ve received less than 1000 boops! we can all get each other to “max”

tumblr today :D <3

as fun as clicking the boop button is, remember to also do your daily clicks for Palestine 🇵🇸 !!!!!

I hate to give it to staff but they did snap with the booping thing. This is the "enrichment in my enclosure" thing we keep talking about, I feel like a bear that recieved a block of ice with pumpkins in it

hello tumblr

Social Security includes the number for a suicide hotline on the envelope they use to tell me they have decided to deny my disability

There’s a depressing ass poem hiding in here, but im too tired to put it together.

Ceaseless booper smack your paw upon this wretched thing

if someone told me my blood smelled and tasted good i would be over the moon. this is on account of my nature

*about to pass out from blood loss* haha you think i’m good? tell me i’m good. i’m g

"...hhhzzzzmmm...mmmMMMZZZZZZzzz....zzzzzZZZMMMNNNnnnn....zzzzZZZZZzz....zzZZZMMMMNNNnnnn...."

"...more..."

not you.

First name-ing him as if I know him personally (he's fictional)

Happy April Fools 2024