Squids and Things

Are Pinky and the Brain still trying to take over the world? Because at this point, I'm willing to hear the Brain's platform.

At this point, I'm willing to hear Pinky's platform.

My partner and I found an absolute parody of an evil tech company last night.

Come across this building. Didn't take a picture but google street view adequately captures the vibes:

A neat if slightly sinister old bank building with a...stupid ass tech company name on it? Instantly giving it the most rancid vibes imaginable with the combo. Just radiates pure evil. Already goes from vaguely haunted mean old building to they're holding EXTREMELY lame eyes wide shut orgies at a bare minimum in there.

And like it's Portland, by all means have all the weird masked orgies you want. Just make sure everyone is happy to be there, right? You get my point.

On our way home from the concert husband looks them up out of morbid curiosity. Their...goddamn about page.

You motherfuckers...I was mostly joking about the eyes wide shut vibes but here you are diving face first into making yourselves look like the cartoon Illuminati of your own free will? Who does this? How much ketamine were you all macro-dosing when you decided this was a good image to put on your own website?

I know how to describe that picture on their website now!

UWUMINATI

When they hold their eyes wide shut orgies the masks look like Metaverse faces and there are like ping pong tables and beanbag chairs around because they're Fun and Hip

They probably have people get matching tattoos on their dumb corporate retreats and fervently deny any accusations of toxic work environments while aggressively settling lawsuits out of court with large sums of money and NDAs so thick you could beat a man to death with them

real and true

truuuuuuu my pet koi read this and went straight for ma clit

“French is such a beautiful, romantic language.”

“Cat, I farted.”

I’ve been listening to the people in the apartment below me have arguments for two years now and I still can’t figure out what language they’re speaking. The best I can narrow it down is like if Portuguese and Hebrew had a baby. Is that a common pidgin combination

I just listened to a clip of this and jesus christ you fucking got it. there are like 3500 people in the whole united states who speak this and two of them are in a very fraught marriage four feet below me

Vote with your heart not with your pussy

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

No offense these are the funniest fucking tags

Apparently when my grandma first came to America she didn’t know what a raccoon was and assumed it was a fucked up cat and adopted it. I just imagine this 13 yr old girl with a heavy Eastern European accent being like “this is my cat, Petr. He is not very friendly”

Oh that's a tumbler or roller pigeon! They're bred to do this! It's believed that the original inclination to tumble in the air was a tactic to avoid being caught by flying predators, then this inclination was bred in favor of doing it more. Some breeds can also fly normally for hours as well, and the most sound breeds are those that can make safe landings still. There's whole shows and competitions around tumbler pigeons!

There's more unsound breeds of course as well, but this one clearly has good control of its flight and landing. Well done pigeon!

tumblr pigeon 🤨

this scam text is so fucking funny i’ve been walking around my home repeating to myself “hi! i am in charge at goldman sachs”

Favorite adderall review

You have to watch the dosage.

You have to watch the dosage.