Ehhhhhhhh

very excited to be reaching new ground in act 3 and with it new opportunities to behave in the most deranged manner imaginable

i see your kinky astarion and vanilla gale and i raise you vanilla astarion and kinky gale. these mfers be like

astarion: god please can i just have normal sex for once in my life, or even no sex, no sex is good too

gale: i just got so turned on watching you murder demons that i can't think straight, let's fuck in seven dimensions

Thats them.

Cyborg: I can interface with satellites that allow me to perceive and measure countless electric signals and waves flying through space and the atmosphere. I can listen to the sun, live. But sure, let’s all freak out because Beast Boy just figured out he can see shrimp colors.

Beast Boy: Cranky ‘cuz you can’t see shrimp colors, aren’t ya?

Raven, not even looking up from her book: Tch. I can see shrimp colors too, it’s just there’s no way for me to see them without also perceiving 13 overlapping hell dimensions at the same time.

Beast Boy: Wh… what?

Cyborg: Seconded. What?

Raven: Oh it’s all ‘Raven why don’t you talk about yourself more’ until I mention the ‘Everyone’s face is peeled off’ dimension.

@stammed-cleams You. You get it.

Robin, who can’t see shit through his white mesh mask: 

In Japanese, they don’t say “moon,” they say “tsuki,” which literally translates to “moon,” and I think that’s how language works.

Hey its been at least 9 years anything changed?

nope! all quiet on the linguistic front. i am a girl now though

i hope shein gets shut down i hope ai projects get shut down i hope billionaires go bankrupt i hope public transportation expands fast i am so tired of the world’s bs

Providing an update the ACLU or an equivalent needs to step in and quickly :

ASTARION.

okay FINE I’ll write a post about the emperor, if tumblr’s going to give me thirst posts either way I might as well. huge endgame spoilers for bg3

the emperor is a goddamn masterpiece of game design, because he’s YOUR powerful, abusive manipulator. Wyll has Mizora, Shadowheart has Shar, Lae’zel has Vlaakith, etc— and Tav has the emperor.

They position him as your guardian. They let you design him a face so he’s trustworthy to you. MOST of his advice is… technically true. You CAN get power from the tadpoles, the githyanki ARE dangerous, you CAN beat the elder brain without Orpheus.

But it’s all a misdirect. He doesn’t care about you. If you do his “romance” scene, he’s pulling a nastier version of Astarion’s “I slept with you so you’d protect me” stunt. He needs you to obey him, to trust him, to see him as an equal.

You learn the fates of his last two “equal partners”— Ansur, whose death the emperor tries to keep you from discovering by claiming he never existed at all, and Stelmane, who the emperor claims was his friend and business partner right up until you mouth off too much, when he admits she was his thrall, and you aren’t because you’re more useful with your wits about you.

Can you really trust his “ethical” brain harvesting claims, given the other lies and half truths? Whether you think eating criminals is a lesser evil or not, there are cages in his quarters. He had thralls. His “shared memory” where he shows himself as a mindflayer in a cloak doesn’t account for the record of a glamor in his quarters that kept kitchen staff from noticing human brain meat until leftovers were removed from the room. He was manipulating people’s senses when they were around him.

But he CAN help you. He IS on your side. As long as you’re on his side, of course. His own self preservation comes first, and that’s not inherently terrible, but he will twist whatever he needs to to get you to help him, no matter how much harm it does.

He’s an incredible character. He fascinates and horrifies me. He’s perfect for his role and I love how they used mind flayers, how he’s setting you up before you even start the game.

TL;DR: long live Prince Orpheus, asshole

I'm glad this seems to be resonating with both the "and that is why i love him" and the "I'm killing him with hammers" crowds. peace and love on planet bastard

dreamt that ppl were playing "dnd hard mode" which was just playing dnd by a pool and if you rolled a nat 1 the dm pushed you into the water

2024

the shit your parents do when you move out

You know what, though? This is actually not bad advice, as silly as the typo on the sign is.

If you drive in the snow as if you have an unsecured giant sheet cake on the back seat because you're on the way to the birthday party of your favorite friend, you'll actually probably do okay! Be cautious, keep a steady speed, leave lots of space around your car. Don't speed up too quickly or brake too sharply. Take turns at a steady, smooth speed. Keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road.

Genuinely, this is similar to how I taught friends from places where it doesn't snow how to act in a car when it's icy or snowing, so let's go with it:

Drive with cake.

It's like the classic advice says:

You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.

Here’s my logic:

These tags are hilarious even though I don’t think you intended them to be.

*pulls European closer* The most populous countries in the world are China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Pakistan, Nigeria, and Brazil in that order, with these seven nations alone making up 48.16% of the world population. You may note with the aid of a map that many of these nations are quite large, and would take several days of travel to go across either in cars or on boats. Almost half of the world's population lives in places where you can travel in a cramped vehicle for days and still be within the country. Your worldview is limited and Europe is a tiny outlier in travel time and standards for international relations.

fuck all philosophy except for whatever the hell Diogenes was trying to teach

direct action

How about just being polite & going into a debate with those who hold diffrent beliefs then you?

how about you eat my shit and hair

staying true to spirit

the OG of the vicious burn

Diógenes said you couldn’t spit anywhere but in the face of a rich man because once this rich dude invited him into his house and literally told him you can’t spit on anything that touches the floor so Diógenes spit in this guys face

here is a very good painting of Diógenes in his tub that i had the good fortune of actually seeing earlier this year

I love that Diogenes is making a comeback in the twenty-first century.