awkwardcat

I wish rich people went back to keeping artists as pets. Like when you’re wealthy enough you pick a cool weirdo to do regular commissions for you, and if you really want to flex on your peers, you’ve got several.

 And you visit them every once in a while like “hello, I’ve paid for your rent and your tools, have you worked on that commission giant oil painting of me getting sucked off by my political opponent, who is unfortunately still the mayor of this town, like I requested?”

 And your favourite feral art person looks up - mouth full of gravel and completely surrounded by art-related trash like “no, but I designed a helicopter.”

And you’re like “that’s fucking lit, the mayor doesn’t have a helicopter. Please carry on as you have.”

I wanna hang out with a stupid rich boy and have him be like “Hey write a story about how cool I am” and then I go “Sure John that’ll be a hundred thousand dollars.” and he’s like “Yeah.” and then I secretly make fun of him the whole time but he never picks up on it because his mom never let him look up the word parody

I’m so many levels of here for this

netflix’s inaccurate subtitles are frustrating, like you pay the site, you don’t expect for something like that to be rushed. changing or disregarding a few words of dialogue in the subtitles can alter the tone of the entire sentence which is a disservice to viewers that need closed captions for accessibility

Seriously

Look, I have no doubt in my mind that Keanu Reeves is this generous to complete strangers. This pattern of behavior has been well established.

But why does he carry envelopes chock full of cash? Is that how he’s paid? 

look don’t be asking questions you’re not ready for the answer to

He’s a fae. They just have whatever money they need.

probably the reason he stood there silent for a few minutes was because he was manifesting the cash.

also because he was tasting all the guy’s words for lies.

He was also checking to make sure the currency was, you know, current. He still keeps some mementos from the olden days.

catching fireflies

if you say “never forget” when remembering genocides of the past but ignore this, you have already forgotten

i don’t know why anyone has to feel insecure about their bodies, when objectively, humans are all freakish horrors. Every last one of us. Hairless, fleshy, gangly beasts walking upright straight as a tree with bony tentacles on the ends of our limbs. 

you have a hole in your face full of sharp bones and you’re worried that your belly is a little squishy 

broke: all bodies are beautiful! 

woke: all bodies are made of warm meat wrapped around wet bones with blood-plump organs stuffed inside. rad 

Actually, your face isn’t filled with sharp bones! Bones are derived from the mesoderm, one of three tissue layers in very early embryonic development that diversify into all of the organs in the body. Teeth on the other hand, come from the ectoderm. So congrats! Your face isn’t filled with sharp bones- it’s filled with sharp skin! Have fun!

I HATE that

I LOVE that

👏Stop 👏 Spreading 👏 Identifying 👏 Information 👏 About 👏 Protesters 👏 Online 👏

“say their names! make them heroes!” Why? So the cops can more easily find them and arrest them? So more people can vanish off the streets without a trace?? We are living in the age of mass surveillance. Stop making the job of cops more easy. Do not post the faces or identifying markers of protesters. Blur them out. Protect them. You can celebrate their actions while still keeping them safe. 

No charges for Breonna Taylor’s killer’s. Cops in Seattle are already blocking streets in preparation to commit more war crimes against any protests that arise. Fuck this country.

if you’re in Louisville seriously stay in groups and be careful, 3%’ers are out

Louisville Community Bail Fund

hey, this is straight from a well-known activist in louisville, this is the bail fund he recommends donating to: https://bailproject.org/louisville/?form=donate

the louisville community bail fund is also reputable, but there are some issues with them getting the money from action network, so you might want to donate to bail project louisville instead

(bail project has a paypal option and requires less personal info to donate, too)

Don’t insult her by comparing her to that terf

John Boyega wants to play Jason??? Oh godddd plsss this will be the softest boy in the whole world plssssssssss

I can't imagine that man angsting. But I want to see him yell at Ben Affleck or Robert Pattinson really baddd plssss

god the power that John would have as Jason. He has the range; I’d kill for this casting

I had to very quickly show or stress how much I need this 🔥🔥🔥

You thought I was done. FOOLS!!! I need this and I need it now.

With Denzel Washington as Batman!!!

YES! Making the Batfamily black would bring SUCH a new tone of power and nuance to the franchise! I would KILL TO SEE THAT!!!

Idea for a setting where vampires or some other supernatural creature "cannot be killed by mortal means" according to the words used to create or prophesied about them. However, what this actually means is that they cannot be killed by means available to the would-be killers at the time of the creatures creation. Sufficient innovations would count as new weapons so older creatures are killed relatively quickly with a semi-automatic pistol but newer ones are almost impossible to kill. Smaller changes (like the difference between a Colt 1911 and a Five Seven) or older weapons made with modern means/materials would do some damage but not nearly as much.

Question, how are vampires made prior to the detonation of atomic weapons affected by the added radiation in the earth’s atmosphere? Instantly dead or just weakened?

rich people:

millennials:

I am fairly sure there are other explanatory factors for a dropping life expectancy, such as skyrocketing obesity rates and no one exercising enough. There’s not much evidence that increases in the quantity of working hours is linked to a dropping life expectancy.

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for folks in office jobs:

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ya ever hear of researching shit before you embarrass yourself?

Very Normal behavior in a Very Normal country

The teenager was asked to write a short scene or draw a short comic using a comedic trope from a list on a handout in their HS American Lit class. They chose to do the comic …

the Bard will never die.

and this comic is fucking genius.

Lmaooooo

this guy has achieved comedy