all of my fellow introverts and old souls, please remember that there is no shame in:

please remember, my fellow extroverts, there is no shame in:

•going ass out •going titties out •getting absolutely wasted •burning books to light your black n milds •screaming into a megaphone to create a world record for most people involved in conversation •throwing the pussy around like tomorrow doesn’t exist •enrolling in 5 classes and never showing up to any of them at all because you’re too busy partying •smoking three cigarettes at the same time while you’re drinking two pbrs at once using a beer hat and playing edward fortyhands simultaneously •never thinking about shit, ever •books is a doorstopper

i know i called you bro but i meant babe.

i am online and you all have to deal with it

Send me "If I were dating you.." in my ask.

for my linkedin

thank you ricky!! could you also upload your resume please?

Fantastic! Your credentials seem to be in order, and you are well qualified for the position of “belly boy.” Someone should contact u for a secondary interview in 3-5 business days.

:O

was he ever contacted for the interview? did he ever get the job?

I was fired for OSHA violations and also biting

Here hold this

Not enough of you are holding him >:(

pass him along

gentle reminder

the world may seem like a cruel place, but there is a lot of kindness and beauty out there; it will help you go on - also, there is a lot of kindness and beauty inside you

*has a crush* This is infatuation. It isnt real

*sees hot person in hallway* Love at first sight is true the lord has blessed me today the stars have aligned My soulmate is here

For you and your internet friends! 💙

Feel free to send these to them but please do not repost

@woahthisguy

On GOD we gon get you some will to live bro

[on a date]

me: so what do you enjoy?

date: using joke formats that are relatable to many, like this one, when realistically you have never been on a date and are just making a shot in the dark with the hope that someone out there relates to it. I cease to exist

me: ok

okay i submitted to the mortifying ordeal of being known where’s my love

*bends over seductively to pick up my cowboy hat*

anyone wanna go for a hike

Me and the girls taking the trek from poo poo point to pee pee creek

why do I eat so much fucking SOUP

PLEASE do not fucking say that