Naughty List - Kurt!Santa x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: Reader has a sort of… candy cane daddy. That’s the elves’ way of saying sugar daddy.

Notes: Yeah. Here I am, writing smut about Santa Clause. DAMMIT KURT RUSSELL. Also yes, I have those Dear Santa, Define Good panties. I wear them every Christmas eve. @this-is-mysuperwholockd-design

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

GIF by cary-elwes

You turn off the fireplace, and humming “Santa Baby”, you slip your red lace stocking down your leg, hanging it on the mantle. Stretching your arms above your head, you smile to yourself and head to your bed… he’d be around soon enough.

Last year, you had recieved a letter from Nick apologizing for not being able to make it, as he had been preoccupied with, quote, “The worst screw-up of a Christmas since the dark ages”. You had understood, and it was alright, really– you two still had fun sending photos. But this year, he had promised to make a stop… and you had ensured that, with all the letters you sent him this year.

The sleigh flies high through the stars, parting clouds over (y/city). Katie’s digging through presents, and Teddy’s checking the list for any nearby gifts. They’d gotten a good system going, this being the second year Nick had employed them as annual Eve Assistants. Like it or not, things did run more smoothly with two helpers, so he had decided to bring them along again this year. At the front, Nick holds the reigns for the reindeer at the front of the sleigh. After a minute and a look around at the dark landscape down below, he realizes what city he’s over.

“Oh. Uh, how we doing on time?” He shifts slightly, clearing his throat. Teddy checks the clock, shrugging.

“Good. We’re a little ahead of schedule.”

“That’s lucky,” Nick takes a deep breath, and nods. “We’re gonna take a little detour.”

“Detour?” Katie questions, “But… don’t you have more gifts to deliver?”

“Well, Katie Cat… this is a gift. Of sorts. That I really shouldn’t be giving.” Teddy bursts into laughter, and Nick whips around.

“What?!”

“Don’t you have a Mrs. Clause at home?” he snickers.

“Mrs. Clause is a myth, you really think I’d have time for a steady relationship?” Teddy huffs, and shakes his head. Meanwhile, Katie looks utterly confused, so her brother leans in.

“He’s leaving this one a gift that’s a little more effort, so he’ll need a while to, uh… give it.” He stifles another laugh, and Nick resists the urge to whack him upside the head.

“You shouldn’t even know what I’m doing, young man.”

“Hey. I’m the one holding the gift list.” Teddy raises his eyebrows, glancing down at (y/n) (y/l/n)’s gift: ’Rudolph red panties with the pretty snow trim’. “Is this your personal annotation, Santa?”

“Teddy, I swear to Jack Frost–” He suddenly looks down, and directs the reindeer down your street, hovering over your place. He takes his hat off, smoothing back his silver hair. “How do I look?”

“Like Santa,” Teddy and Katie chime together, and Nick scoffs.

“Great helpers you two are.” He turns as he jumps off the sleigh. “I’ll be back…” he cocks his head, picturing what’s waiting for him down the chimney. “…When I’m back.” With that, he disappears.

Inside in your bed, your eyes open to the sound of boots on the roof, and you bite your lip, getting excited. You hadn’t seen the much older man in almost two years, and even though there had been the letters, you had missed him.

Pushing the covers back to reveal a satin nightgown with red lace trim and red panty-shorts underneath that read “Dear Santa, Define Good”, you hop out, running a hand through your hair and walking out. In your living room, Nick tucks a little something under the tree, then looks around. “Two years, with diamonds and pearls and all the stuff I send her, and no milk and cookies?” You tap the wall you’re leaning against, expectantly waiting, and he turns, eyes immediately widening.

“Ho boy… this is a whole lot better than milk and cookies.”

Dropping the seductress act for a second, you grin, and rush over to him, throwing your arms around his neck. He picks you up, and holds you to him, chuckling.

“Missed ya,” he whispers in your ear, and you kiss his cheek, bopping his nose.

“Missed you more.”

He sighs, looking over you again. “Look at you. God, you look good in my colour.”

“I know,” you smile, and head over to the kitchen to get the cookies you baked earlier. Nick watches you go, admiring your ass unabashedly. You smack it lightly when you turn, and he shakes his head in disbelief.

“So nice…” He suddenly catches himself. “Hey, wait a minute. See, this is what you do, you make me forget I’m supposed to be mad at you.”

“Why… did I make the naughty or nice list this year?” you ask innocently, sauntering back from the kitchen with cookies. Nick gives you a look.

“What do you think?”

“You’ve made exceptions for me in the past, but I’d be surprised if you slipped me on the nice list this year,” you lick your lips, biting down on a sugar cookie and passing the plate over, “I’ve been pret-ty naughty.”

“Yeah, you have been.” He watches the sugar coat your lips, and snatches the cookies, shoving one in his mouth in annoyance. “You’ve been sending me dirty letters all year! You know what? The elves filter those! Lars thinks I’m getting pranked, which is mildly insulting. They end up in the spam pile half the time!” He tilts his head, frowning. “I sift through and find them, of course…”

You smirk. “What was your favorite?”

“I think the one with you sucking me off before I take you from behind. But that’s– ah, that’s beside the point!”

“Cut me some slack. Do you know what it’s like seeing you only one night a year? Torture.” You make a sad face, and he points.

“Hey. You better not pout.”

“Why?”

“I’m telling you why, I–” He rolls his eyes. “I walked right into that one.”

“Look, I’m not joking. It’s hard imagining your hands on me when you’re not really there.”

“Yeah, well…” he sits down in an armchair, rubbing his chin. “It’s the same for me.”

You can’t help but notice how authoritative he looks sitting there, chin resting on his fist with that stern expression. It makes you absolutely weak. “At least you can watch me. I’ve only got memories– and you know what else?” You saunter over, and get down on your knees, tugging his white fluffy lapels. He swallows, glancing down at your parted lips.

“Tell me.”

“Lots… and lots… of touching.” He exhales.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! Haven’t you seen me?”

“I try not to watch.”

“What?!”

“I’m Santa Clause, (y/n), I’m a spiritual institution of holiday innocence, what do you expect?!” he growls, and you bite your lip, tilting your chin up to his height.

“I know how rough you can be. I want that side of Saint Nick tonight.”

“Hm.” He takes this opportunity to tease, raising n eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

You exhale shakily. “Mhmm.”

“Real sure?”

“Yes…”

“I wanna be sure my baby’s beggin’ for me by the time she gets what she needs.”

“Oh,” you moan softly, reaching down your panties. He holds a finger up.

“Ah. Not a chance, doll. You put those pretty little hands to good use, up on my chest here… that’s it, right here,” he pats his thighs, “And come sit on my lap.”

You straddle him, and feel his cock growing under you as you grind down.

“’S this what you want for Christmas, (y/n)?” he whispers in your ear, beard tickling you. You twirl a lock of silver hair in his beard.

“I thought naughty girls got coal in their stockings.”

His lips graze your ear, sending shivers through you. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not really in a position to refuse your, eh… gift that keeps on giving, this year.” You smirk wickedly, and reach down, undoing his red pants and black belt. He groans, and feels your hands wrap around him. Slicking him up with precum, he loses it after five seconds, and bounces you higher up, right overtop of his bulge. You moan again, and he holds you by the waist.

“I need it, Nick,” you breathe, hands bracing against his fur clad chest.

“And you’re gonna get it, little lady,” he murmurs, and grabs your shoulders, bringing you in for a deep kiss. When you break, your lips are swollen, and his deep, rumbling voice makes your pussy wet as he speaks in a hush.

“It’s a shame you haven’t been a good little girl this year… you would’ve been able to come real nice and quick.”

You gasp, and hold onto his jacket. “That’s okay… I’d rather you take your time fucking me, daddy.”

He chuckles, gaze leering down at you, and takes your breasts in hand, lifting your nightgown so they’re exposed. You lean into his neck as his hand moves down. He smells like gingerbread and fresh snow.

“You been waitin’ on this all year, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“All for me.”

“Uh huh.”

“Mm… you know how pretty you are, baby girl?” he asks, grunting softly as he parts you. You gasp again, pussy clenching as he slowly pumps two fingers into you. “That’s right… how’s that?” You whine, and start to rotate your hips, fucking yourself on his fingers. When he curves them, you arch your back, and he watches in awe. You feel an orgasm coming on, so you stop him, and pull his pants down just enough, exposing his large erection.

“Fuck, daddy,” you moan, and he tilts your chin up.

“Can you take that, baby girl?” You nod, and he smiles. “That’s right, that’s my girl.” You lower down onto it, and take it all, groaning.

“Nick…”

“Oh yeah… Santa Clause is back in town.”

You laugh at his corny line, and bounce on his cock. He reaches down, rubbing slow circles around your clit, and gets faster as he gets closer, as you hold on with your arms looped around his neck, his beard tickling your breasts. You start to gasp his name as your orgasm hits, and he grunts, holding you down on him.

“Nick… Ni–ick, mmm Santa!” you cry out, and come, holding him. He’s still hard inside of you, which is just what he wanted– he gives you a kiss, then pats your ass.

“Let me show you a little something else.”

He lays you down on the carpet on your stomach, and lifts your hips up to touch your ass to him, grinding there.

“I see,” you joke, out of breath, “Does everyone on the naughty list get rug burn?”

Nick laughs out loud. “I don’t think Charlie Plummer from Chicago has quite earned the privelage yet.”

You moan as he slams in again, and he reaches forward to bend over you, fucking you deep from behind and holding you by your breasts. Your second orgasm starts to swell, your body sensitive from the first, and Nick senses it, pressing kisses along your back.

“You’re a real good little baby… yeah… yeah… this sweet ass deserves the nice list for life,” he manages out, “Gonna… oh that’s it, gonna make me come…” He grimaces, and you shout his name as you both come at the same time.

Nick rolls you over, and you two share another kiss as you catch your breath.

“That was so good,” you breathe.

“Sure was, pretty baby.” He kisses the top of your head, and grazes his thumb along your face. “You know, I gotta go.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, resting your head against his chest.

“I’ve probably spent the time allotted to cover France on this filthy little rest stop.”

“Was it worth it?” you whisper against his lips.

“Baby girl, it always is.” He winks, getting up and doing his belt. “Got enough tonight to help me jerk it until next Christmas.”

You laugh, laying back by the Christmas tree. “That I’d like to see.”

“Well, I’ve been… thinking of gettin’ Facetime, but my elves all think it’s a bad idea. If it means I get to see your pretty little self moaning my name like a slut, I wholeheartedly disagree.” He makes sure everything is in order, takes another cookie, then sighs, turning back to you. “Remember– don’t open your gift until Christmas morning.”

“What is it?” you tease. “A custom molded vibrator?”

He gives you a look. “Very funny, (y/n). Santa doesn’t give people vibrators.” With a little rub of his nose, St. Nick’s gone, and you look back under the tree, rubbing your thighs together in satisfaction. There’s a box… you check the time as it ticks from 11:59 to 12:00, and smirk. Technically, it’s morning.

You open it up, find the cutest panties, and slip them on. Underneath, there’s a small snow globe, with a note thst says “For emergencies. I mean it!” You shake it, and see a peek into Nick’s bedroom, intended for a view whenever you’re in the mood. Oh, this is the best gift you’ve recieved.

That is, until next year.

Up in the sleigh, Nick takes the reigns again, and the kids wake up. “Took you long enough,” Teddy mutters, “We could’ve finished France by now, y'know. I hope she was worth it.”

“Oh trust me,” Nick smiles, checking the snowglobe in his pocket, watching you get back into bed in those Rudolph red panties, “She was.”

Katie giggles. “Um, Santa?” He turns, and she hands him a mirror. Nick blushes as he does his jacket up over the hickies. He sure does love his baby, but she’s gonna get him into real trouble one of these days.

Tarantino And Chill?

Naughty List - Kurt!Santa x Reader [Smut]

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