i am answering all the asks im getting? like again im not even saying the shit i did wasnt bad but like, even in that situation (and yea i know what thats in reference to) i.. like, i stopped. i hadnt thought about it. i dont know, im stupid, and the character wasnt human so i just didnt stop for 10 seconds to think, and then i did, and then i stopped using a japanese name, and i wont ever use one again. i was racist, and one more than one occassion, and i know its shitty and i know that i cannot fix it all in one easy way. i have a tendency to push myself away from the shitty stuff i do, and i did that for a very long time, including my racism. i am trying to change this now.

listen yall in tryin not to be like. defensive but. i do care, actually, and i have always cared, and if i didnt care i wouldnt bother bcos the people who hate me now arent going to suddenly stop?? what would i be trying to accomplish if i didnt actually.. like.... feel remorse?? yall think im gonna metamorphis into an entirely new person in under a week? i really dont understand what im doing to make it seem like i dont give a shit. like nobody is required to forgive me or anything but like, im being genuine w this

i never said my racist comments were because im mentally ill? i did say that part of the reason was my impulsivity often has me saying before thinking, but regardless, i still said racist shit. part of it was as i said, i felt entitled to making comments others did, when it wasnt my place.

i didnt ask to not recieve hate, i just said id block. and by hate i literally meant messages that consisted antirely of like, "kill yourself". baseless hate. so far, nothing of that nature has come into my inbox.

im not saying i deserve respect right now, only that people should expect to be blocked if they send stuff like that. i wanted to make the boundries of what i personally would put up with clear, thats all. whether or not im deserving of it is irrelevant - i just dont want to deal with that.

i really dont understand the issue with me late at night posting on my blog that i feel upset. i didnt like, mention names - unless this is in reference to posts earlier on THIS blog shortly after the whole thing. if thats the case, i agree with you - while ill say i was really just feeling shitty at the time, the tone of the posts are bad.

however, anything other than that, i really dont see the manipulation in them? 

at the time, i didnt think about how the things i did were bad. and now i have, and its made me feel shitty, bc i was shitty. i never intend to excuse myself. ill admit that taking responsibility is somethig new to me, and previously (intentionally or not) i play victim, and i am trying to rectify this. 

i mean, yeah? cos the two things arent mutually exclusive? theres a different cos like, the latter is Me on My Personal Blog Venting Feelings that i cant help feeling? im rly unsure the point of this, bc i can feel sorry and remorseful and also feel bad bc ppl hate me. like. idk what to tell u. not to mention its not like im going to people specifically crytyping abt how sad and pathetic i am... im just like... going on my personal blog and being upset.... 

like yea lots of ppl hate me rn and rightfully so, but like. it still hurts for me so im also venting that

so i finally logged on expected a shitton of anon hate and this is literally it, and its pretty much the best fucking thing ever