’ _______ wants to know what’s going on. ’
’ ________, what’s going on? ’
’ I don’t know. What’s going on, _______? ’
’ Wait a minute. Who wants to know? ’
’ How are those maggots? ’
’ You’re eating maggots. How do they taste? ’
’ Second shelf is mine. ’
’ Nobody touches the second shelf but me. ’
’ It is too late, my blood is in your veins. ’
’ Wait, wait. You have a TV? ’
’ No. I just like to read the TV Guide. ’
’ Read the TV Guide, you don’t need a TV. ’
’ If you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I’ll stake you without even thinking twice about it! ’
’ One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach; all the damn vampires. ’
’ Don’t ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy. ’
’ It renders you powerless. ’
’ Did you know that? ’
’ Of course. Everyone knows that. ’
’ What, you don’t like rice? ’
’ Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. ’
’ You’ll never grow old, ______, and you’ll never die. ’
’ It’s that girl from the boardwalk. Is she one of them? ’
’ And don’t tell me it doesn’t make her a bad person, ______. ’
’ Holy shit! It’s the attack of Eddie Munster! ’
’ It was all going to be so perfect, ______. ’
’ Great! The Bloodsucking Brady Bunch! ’
’ Just like one big, happy family. ’
’ So where’re we going? ’
’ So what’s the rush? You’re chasing that girl aren’t you? ’
’ Come on, admit it. ’
’ Come on, admit it. I’m at the mercy of your sex glands, bud. ’
’ Got a problem, guys? ’
’ Just scoping your civilian wardrobe. ’
’ Pretty cool, huh? ’
’ Where the hell are you from? Krypton? ’
’ You think you really know what’s happening here, don’t you? ’
’ Well, I’ll tell you something, you don’t know shit, buddy. ’
’ You think we just work at a comic book store for our folks, huh? ’
’ Actually, I thought it was a bakery. ’
’ This is just a cover; we’re dedicated to a higher purpose. ’
’ We’re fighters for truth, justice, and the American way. ’
’ Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave? ’
’ Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that. ’
’ How about some Windex, ________? ’
’ You have a big date tonight, ________? ’
’ Look at your reflection in the mirror. ’
’ You wait ‘till mom finds out, buddy! ’
’ My own brother/sister, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. ’
’ You’re a creature of the night, just like out of a comic book! ’
’ You did the right thing by calling us. ’
’ Does the sunlight freak him/her out? ’
’ Uh, he/she wears sunglasses in the house. ’
’ Bad breath, long fingernails? ’
’ Here’s what you do: get yourself a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart. ’
’ You’d better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it’s your funeral. ’
’ This place has become a haven for the undead. ’
’ Kill your brother/sister, you’ll feel better. ’
’ Holy shit, Vampire Hotel. ’
’ What’s that smell? ’
’ Vampires, my friend, vampires. ’
’ We’re on the right trail. ’
’ Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns. ’
’ We blew it, man, we lost it! ’
’ We unraveled in the face of the enemy! ’
’ It’s not our fault, they pulled a mind scramble on us! ’
’ They opened their eyes and talked! ’
’ We don’t ride with vampires. ’
’ Burn rubber does not mean warp speed! ’
’ Guys, we’re on our own. ’
’ Good, just the way we like it. ’
’ When a vampire bites it, it’s never a pretty sight. ’
’ No two bloodsuckers go the same way. ’
’ Death by stereo! ’
’ Shut up! ’
’ I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow. ’
’ We trashed the one that looks like Twisted Sister. ’
’ Totally annihilated his night-stalking ass! ’
’ We’re awesome monster bashers! ’
’ Death to all vampires! ’
’ Notice anything unusual about ______ yet? ’
’ No, it’s actually a pretty cool place… if you’re a Martian! ’
’ You guys sniffin’ on newsprint or somethin’? ’
’ If he’s dead, can we go back to Phoenix? ’
’ Do you know what it means when there’s no TV? - No MTV! ’
’ Are you freebasing, ______? Inquiring minds want to know. ’
’ There’s our number on the back. And pray you never need to call us. ’
’ I’ll pray I never need to call you. ’
’ Look, this isn’t a comic book, these guys are brutal killers. ’
’ Don’t kill me. I’m basically a good kid. ’
’ Haha! Garlic don’t work, boys! ’
’ Talk about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. ’
’ I haven’t changed my mind about that. ’
’ Come on, be one of us. ’
’ Initiation’s over. Time to join the club! ’
’ It’s so much better if you don’t fight. ’
’ Mom! Mom, no! Don’t do it, Mom! Mom, don’t do it! ’
’ I bet you hate garlic, dontcha!? ’
’ I like garlic! It’s just a little much! It’s raw garlic. ’
’ I can’t tell you. I don’t know how to help you. ’
’ What’s happening to me, _____? ’
’ Well, now, let me put it this way. ’
’ You just have to try and keep up. ’
’ Grab the rock box, kid! ’
’ What’d you do to my dog, you asshole? ’
’ You’re a vampire! I knew it! ’
’ So what are you? The Flying Nun? ’
’ You got carried away by a comic book? ’
’ It was a scary comic, mom. I’m sorry. ’
’ Have you been eating pizza? ’
’ Don’t kill anyone until we get back to you! ’
’ Come on. Vampires have such a rotten temper. ’
’ First come, first staked. ’
’ What was that? A little vampire humor? Well, it wasn’t funny! ’
’ Okay, where’s Nosferatu? ’
’ How much do you think we should charge them for this? ’
’ I gotta tell you something - it’s real important. ’
’ Look, there’s evidence on my sweater. ’
’ Hey! Smells good! When do we eat? ’
’ Right! Now we are going to have company again! ’
’ Are we going to have company again? ’
’ Is there any jobs around here? ’
’ Well, you’re the man of the house and I’m not coming in until you invite me. ’
’ I didn’t invite you this time, ______. ’
’ You’re invited. ’
’ Thanks very much. ’
’ How you doing? You must be, right? ’
