My good sir I had a mortgage before any of those characters were published 💀

I know who exactly three of these people are. When I was a kid I wanted to be a Herald of Valdemar.

I wanted to be Menolly with her entire Faire of fire lizards.

I wanted to be a Starfleet officer.

I wanted to be Dirk Pitt.

i wanted to be indiana jones

I wanted to be Han Solo.

I wanted to be Vesper Holly most of all.

Sticking with the literary theme: Meg Murry. If we're doing movies/TV, Princess Leia or Laura Holt.

I wanted to be Alanna

Also Meg Murry, and the kid who lived in the tree in My Side of the Mountain.

Harry from the Blue Sword in middle school, Heralds of Valdemar not until high school

That smart kid from The Westing Game who figured out all the clues

I wanted to be Claudia Kishi with a side of Meg Murry.

Cimorene.

I wanted to be Nancy Drew

Cimorene, Claudia (while knowing in my heart I was really a Mallory) and Meg Murray, yep.

Holly Short from the Artemis Fowl series

Reading amazing fanfiction, then forgetting to bookmark it

enter this into the Google search

site:<url of site where you read the fic> <a line you remember from the fic or character names plus a unique detail>

for example:

site:http://archiveofourown.org/ Todd Margo pedicure

Google will search only AO3 and tell you which pages contain the words Todd Margo and pedicure.

REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE

REBLOG TO SAVE MY LIFE

REBLOG!!!

Not sure how common this knowledge is, but I’d like to add that if you enclose a piece of text in quotation marks, Google will search for only the exact wording of it. So if you’re lucky enough to remember an exact quote, that’s also a powerful tool. I can’t count the number of obscure tumblr posts I’ve tracked down from screenshots with just those two techniques; I’m sure it’ll work for fic too.

ok.

hey so like

hi, you. yeah im talking to you. You like my stuff from time to time and reblog once and a while, and I always recognize you in my notes. we’ve never talked, maybe you dont like to say much or you’re nervous or something. it’s okay, whatever it is. 

I see you. you mean a lot to me. sometimes when I’m having a hard day, I’ll notice your name once again in my notifs and it makes me smile. im not kidding.

I don’t care if you’re a “ghost” follower or you send me asks all the time. i see you and I love you so much, genuinely and truly. you are really important to me. 

thank you. thank you for being there. <3

hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.

by talos this cant be happening

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

Dying.

Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.

I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”

Getting really sick of all the "There's No Place Like Chrome" ads on youtube. There's Firefox. Firefox saves your passwords. Firefox autofills things if you want. Firefox also does things that Chrome doesn't like allow adblockers, and it does not mine your data and sell your information for advertising purposes. Google is really trying to push people to use Chrome so they can take as much data from users as possible in order to make as much money as possible and it's borderline sinister.

Anyway, download Firefox.

The irony of this is because of the ad blockers on my Firefox, I've never seen any such ad.

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

here’s a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!

(6 servings)

-2lbs red potatoes

-1 cup butter (2 sticks)

-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)

-Chives (optional)

-Salt & Pepper to taste

1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don’t even have to chop them just wash them

2. boil til soft!

3. Drain

4. Mash (usually they’re small enough you can use a fork if u don’t have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix

5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing

I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf

So after spending hours combing through the recipes in the comments of this post I have created a cookbook. Feel free to use it. The link should work for everyone, its the only file on the google drive! I have referenced all of the recipes I used, all of which are from this thread. I made it for myself, but figured after all that work I should probably share. Happy spite cooking! 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WjcDfZrPMr0Pw9f5GfEy0aTs2KEx4Pub/view?usp=sharing

there is a SPITE COOKBOOK now :DDD

“fueled by spite: a cookbook of revenge”

@instructor144 For recipe day. :)

For your Recipe Day delectation: “Fueled by Spite: A Cookbook of Revenge.” ^^^

RECIPE DAY

I need to add a kimchi recipe to this.. From “Mommy Dearest”

Oh wow! The feedback from this has been overwhelming! So many additional recipes and stories, I just don’t have time to add them all to the collaborative cookbook! So in the drive I included a google doc version of my copy of the cookbook. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1W93dKYNiRu3mMHXimuLYO7rtLM4pTH2o/view?usp=sharing

Feel free to add your recipes to it, it should be editable for everyone! Just please be kind to each other, and don’t delete each others work! It warms my heart how collaborative this has become!

With love, 

TT

I know this is horrible but this comment was left on a true crime youtube video and I cannot stop laughing. 

STOP. moment of gratitude for those precious times of breathing from your nostrils when you don't have a stuffy nose

Everyone who doesn't have a headache right now, stop right now for a moment and appreciate how good it is not to have a headache.

JK Rowling has used her billionaire legal team to silence a Jewish woman for telling the truth about her contempt for trans victims of the Holocaust.

Scotland’s network of “freedom of speech” organisations, as per usual, have nothing to say about the use of wealth to gag critics of the wealthy.

However fast they race to condemn the LGBT+ community for saying the names of those who harm us. Statements at the ready to insist that transphobes no one wants to work with anymore must be given every possible opportunity to gain from their bigotry.

But it's not the billionaires who are being silenced, as our media breathlessly echo their every hateful proclamation.

It's journalists and activists forced to publicly humiliate themselves under the weight and the threat of billionaire legal teams or be driven into destitution.

We deserve better. Freedom of speech needs to mean something

The Streisand Effect strikes

This will swiftly become one of the primary things JK Rowling is remembered for. Trying to erase crimes of the Holocaust against trans people and then silencing Jewish journalists for calling her out.

With your help we can make sure JK Rowling is known as a Holocaust denier first, author of mediocre children's books second

“Why did you follow this person ? uwu”

I’ve been here for fourteen years, do you think I remember? I don’t know who any of these people are anymore. I don’t know why they’re on my dash. I allow them to stay because they haven’t pissed me off enough to unfollow them yet. “Why did you follow this person?” I’m not sure I ever did. They’re just part of my ecosystem now.

if you don’t like agegap fics i’m sorry not all of us have great relationships with our fathers, no need to brag!

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

I thought this was just a post about what month was coming up.