XXI

Engaged to the love of my life July 24th, 2022 💗🖤

Hey loves💗☺️

Someone must've reported me because my messages for this account (egirlunicornrocksall) have all disappeared and I am unable to send messages on here.

I can only assume I was reported by a man sending videos/pics of himself jerking off without my consent and then getting mad when I texted back that it was the smallest, ugliest dick I've ever seen in my life. 😀👍

I've contacted tumblr support, but it's been DAYS with zero response and the staff hates me sooooo I probably won't have messages for a while.

If you've already messaged me on here or replied to my advertisement post about wanted to purchase content from me and I haven't replied back yet, then please message me on snapchat @egirlunicorn. Don't send nudes or flirty texts - it's a business transaction ;) ty 💗

hey there lovelies💖

sooooo many of you have requested a life update and want to make sure that i'm in a better spot than i was last year when i posted a "cry for help" of sorts on my blog after i shared that i had been living in an abusive situation at home for years and then i (eventually) shared that i became homeless for a few months as well in 2021. and it was obvious that i was STRUGGLING mentally.

fun times, fun times.😌👍

basically i learned SUPER fast that your blood family is not always going to be there for you. just bc you're related, just because they're a parent or a brother or sister doesn't mean they'll take you in or protect you or truly care for your well-being/feelings. it's messed up, for sure, but i know so many people (including a bunch of u) who've gone through similar situations and have experienced similar hurt from family members and i know you can relate to the feeling of shock/hurt/resentment when you realize you've been let down. hard. by your family.

this post that i took a screenshot of below was posted on April 27th, 2021 and was the first time i openly shared on this blog that my father had abusive tendencies towards me for years. due to some traumatic shit during my childhood i learned to cope by dissociating. and i started to dissociate more. and more. and more during my tween and teen years. i definietly have a dissociation disorder that i'll have for the entirety of my life and it's often a big struggle to "stay in the moment" or to feel "real" or even important/special. long-term use of dissociation can often have you unsure over what's real and what isn't, what was a dream and what actually happened, and it could also leave you wondering if anything is important. or worth living for.

((i know alot of these feelings can be relatable to some of you and that doesn't mean u do or don't have a dissociation disorder. and some people with a dissociation disorder may even feel differently and not how i described. 🤷‍♀️))

i definietly have some distinct voices/friends/people in my head that i've recognized for YEARS due to my dissociation. i have a few very comforting, very motherly and paternal voices. i have one that is very strong and cut throat and very much a lioness. and i have some childlike ones.

so over the past few months i've really just been trying to heal years old trauma. and to heal you have to remember what happened. and to remember is to feel the hurt that you bury through dissiciation. it's a cycle. and its been a long, tedious, sad cycle, but i think i've hit some good mental milestones and i'm proud of me and my journey. but i'm not perfect and the healing process is gonna be one that takes years.

Anyways, to catch ya'll up:

i shared in April 2021 that i was in an abusive situation with my father and i was DESPERATE to escape. my siblings would not take me in, i was given some shitty excuses. despite not having a permanent place to live or an apartment, i packed all of my things up (and my two cats, Molly and Beau) and stayed at an extended stay motel for a few months. it was very dangerous, but essentially i was "free". during these few months i searched for an apartment or anyone looking for a roommate, but it wasn't until August 2021 that there was finally an available apartment near me. at this time i had also made some genuine friends who stuck by me and supported me during the lowest moments of my life. i know consider those people my "family".💗

on August 9th, 2021 i moved into my first apartment with my boyfriend. i had only been official with cody a month and a half, but we both needed a place and agreed that even if we broke up we'd still make things work since we had to live together and split bills.

in october of 2021, cody was given emergency legal and physical custody of his 4 year old son that his ex had been keeping from him. this came as a HUGE shock to us since the ex was immediately taken to jail and one of the charges facedagainst her was child neglect. 🥺 we also were given the choice to have temporary custody over his son's half-brother (who isn't related to us) so that the 9 year old wouldn't be forced into foster care while he waited for his mom to get out of jail.

we agreed and for several months became the parents of two children.

which was extremely hard. we went from not being parents, to playing the role of mom and dad for two. but i know it was vital to remove both boys from the toxic environment they had been stuck in.

the half-brother just moved in with his biological dad last month (May) after being in our care for 8 months so now we're just a household of three.

but that experience definietly brought me and my boyfriend closer together lol. i love him more than anything and it really makes my eyes turn into a waterfall to think that i somehow found true fucking love in the hardest/darkest times of my life. 🥺💕

so basically.... don't give up on love? it's out there, but it also doesn't follow your clock. it'll happen when it happens, if you're open.

currently, as of June 2022 lol, i still live in our shared apparentment with his son and 5 of my cats.

this January though my cat named "Molly" (i've posted and talked about her on here before) passed away. i had her when i was 12 till i was 20, and she'll live forever in my memory as my best friend. 💗👼

my cats right now are: 1# Beau (black & white, senior aged - i've posted her on here before), 2# Flower (main coon, 5 yo, i adopted last month), 3# Kitten (black, only male, almost a year old, and is bonded to Rue), 4# Rue (gray, 6 mo old and only has one eye, is bonded to kitten), 5# unnamed (orange tabby, 9 week old kitten i just adopted yesterday <3).

my current aspiration right now is to heal and enjoy my life as much as possible.

and with that thought in mind, i decided to pause my current degree in business administration and pursue something i actually enjoy.

today will be my first day of classes in nail technology. i plan on finishing the program around October 2022 and will pursue my state license afterwards. - it's something i've always enjoyed so i thought i'd listen to my instincts for once. ;)

love you all, thank you for all your support over the years,

Esther 💕💖💗