Book Club
She lingered after the others had gone. It was a fine thing to attend something sponsored by the Captain, and she was far from the only one there.
But Kes wanted more, and she waited.
It had seemed to her that the majority of attendance had been there for fellowship and refreshments, but Kes was burning with questions. It had seemed in that time that no one had questions like hers. Nothing complex. Nothing that even seemed to vaguely challenged the Prime Directive, nor the Secondary nor the Third. Kes had listened more than she spoke, but she still had burning questions. So she lingered. So she waited. So she stood beside the remains of the layout of food as if she might choose something, but she did not.
She waited, listening, until she was the last in the room. then Kes went and sat across from the Captain, silent but eagerly awaiting permission to speak with wide blue eyes.
(( @parallaxedcaptain ))
Actual footage of lizard Kathryn Janeway seducing lizard Tom Paris in the back of the shuttle craft [x]
So my dads is very anti spirk and I need to be adopted ASAP
Plus could we see some gay ass Star Trek moments
I’ll start
How..... how did I forget about this
I’m deleting my blog
It was the Captain’s presence in her life that made it feel so natural to break away from her home. With the same sort of drive that broke her away from the Ocampa’s caves, she had broken away from the planet and everything she knew to go join Voyager’s voyage. She was particularly thankful for the Captain whom had liberated her from slavery, was a great help and inspiration, but also a true friend. Someone who cared about her and wanted to understand her emotions with a depth that not even Neelix could reach.
To achieve and receive the Captain’s approval drained the tension out of her. It seemed they’d come to an agreement with the Captain just twice checking her duty. Making certain. Caring for her as she had since their eyes first met.
“Oh, no! I don’t feel forced in any way, Captain.” Even in her concern, Kes’ voice stayed low and even, like strokes on a viola. “This is an opportunity for me. I would not have asked if it were not a technical necessity, but I’ve been on board this ship for a third of my life. I feel a need to go planet side. I knew that my desires might cloud my judgment, but the Doctor agrees with me.”
It might take someone as perceptive as the Captain to see the need in her eyes. Kes was trying so hard to come from an adult and responsible place while at the same time, the creature she was needed to feel planet fall. To experience something new.
To get off the ship, if even for just a few hours.
“i can appreciate the need to explore.” kathryn sighed. It was a wistful sigh, borne of the fact that sometimes she wished she had never become a starfleet captain; many hours she spent wondering where she would be instead. Perhaps she and Mark would have had children if she hadn’t been so flighty. Other times, she didn’t regret it at all.
Staying in one place for too long always did make her feel unsettled; bored; scared that she was just wasting her life. “after all, i didn’t get myself into this predicament by keeping my head down.” She smiled. Having a sense of humor about the dire circumstances she had found herself and voyager in made it somewhat easier to stomach.
Sobering, her eyes narrowed as she considered protocol around taking someone unaccustomed to the federation and it’s prime directive. there really wasn’t any. after all, it was an unprecedented set of circumstances. she figured that the best she could do was offer kes the opportunity to ask any questions which the answers to could put her mind at ease. “do you have any questions or concerns about the away mission? i’d rather answer them now than when it’s already too late.”
The Captain understood her need. Kes knew she would. From what she’d learned about the woman, she had an ability to understand all of her crew no matter how diverse. Perhaps it was part of the requisite of being a Captain. It certainly made Voyager even more of a home for Kes. It was good to have Nelix who had known her so long, but more and more she found they understood each other less and less. Although he was thoughtful, she did not care for when he tried to tell her what to do. It was different with the Captain. Sometimes, yes, the woman did tell her what to do, but it always seemed so clearly to be good for Kes’ self interests. Her future. Growing up.
She was about to thank the woman informally when she saw formality fall across the Captain’s face in contrast to how relaxed she’d seemed a moment ago. Kes wiped the big smile off her face and mirrored Captain Janeway’s serious aspect. She took the woman’s question as somberly as she would an order, and searched her mind for something she may have missed in her studies. She felt like she’d done a through job.
“I feel confident I’m ready for this, Captain, but I don’t know what I don’t know.”
That hand upon her did keep her steady as the Captain made her choice. It was painful for Kes on so many levels. The only way she showed it, however, was the soft opening of her mouth, and perhaps the smallest sway kept immeasurable by the Captain’s support of her. Neither could her delicate pale eyebrows hide the complexity of her thoughts.
She could tell that the Captain didn’t like giving her a negative on her request, but that she was going to do it anyway. Kes as well was pushing down her feelings. One did not argue with the Captain. That, she had learned.
There was a thrill in her a moment later when Captain Janeway offered that she could speak. It wasn’t over! As the woman drew her hand away, Kes thought of her independence. Her importance as a living being that the Voyager crew had reminded her of. After being freed from the Kazon, it had taken her time to remember the inner rebellion of her nature that had caused her to leave the safety of the Ocompa Enclave in the first place. She stood up every bit of her 160 centimeter height, and took a deep breath so her voice would be strong.
“Thank you, Captain.” Her voice was strong and smooth, with an almost viola quality. She put her arms behind her back, grabbing one wrist with the other as she’d sometimes seen members of the crew making a report. It made her even just that little bit taller, and squared her narrow shoulders.
“I have spent some time trying to simplify the program so that someone else can use it. These elements, this particular balance of elements are difficult to detect. Its why the stores ran out.” Kes’ periwinkle eyes stayed steady. “It’s taken me two days to create a new program, and that rate includes my unique learning cycle. The Doctor agrees with my additional findings that there is no one else who could learn the subtleties before the Away Team leaves tomorrow.”
There was something on her face then. Something she could not hide. Something that showed her young age in a single moment.
Want. Want clear in a small quaver in her breath, a soft move of her lower lip and her eyebrows nearly question marks as she looked to the Captain with hope.
kathryn’s fingers rested on her chin as she thought about the new information kes had presented to her. “i guess that settles it then,” she admitted, shrugging. she still felt uneasy about it, but her months captaining voyager had taught her that unprecedented circumstances called for unprecedented actions. “you will be joining the away team tomorrow.” she flashed kes a brief smile. it felt good to be able to give the ocampan a bigger taste of freedom and at least if kes’ presence was absolutely necessary she could allow her to leave voyager with a clear conscience.
the eagerness that kes showed towards going to the planet was somewhat refreshing. it was what the federation was all about, of course - exploring; finding new things. kathryn had no doubt that were circumstances different, kes would make a fine starfleet officer. kathyrn found herself gazing at kes with a fondness that most of the crew didn’t get to see. it was a chink in her armour and she quickly straightened her back and resumed with a sincere, yet formal speech.
“i hope you know that the progress you’ve made with your studies with the doctor and your work in airponics astound me. i thank you for the dedication you’ve shown towards voyager and its crew. just put my mind at ease by answering this. i think i already know the answer, but do you actually want to do this or do you feel obliged to? no one is ever going to force you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. you’ve become a valued member of voyager. however, i think we both need to remind ourselves that you are actually our guest.”
It was the Captain’s presence in her life that made it feel so natural to break away from her home. With the same sort of drive that broke her away from the Ocampa’s caves, she had broken away from the planet and everything she knew to go join Voyager’s voyage. She was particularly thankful for the Captain whom had liberated her from slavery, was a great help and inspiration, but also a true friend. Someone who cared about her and wanted to understand her emotions with a depth that not even Neelix could reach.
To achieve and receive the Captain’s approval drained the tension out of her. It seemed they’d come to an agreement with the Captain just twice checking her duty. Making certain. Caring for her as she had since their eyes first met.
“Oh, no! I don’t feel forced in any way, Captain.” Even in her concern, Kes’ voice stayed low and even, like strokes on a viola. “This is an opportunity for me. I would not have asked if it were not a technical necessity, but I’ve been on board this ship for a third of my life. I feel a need to go planet side. I knew that my desires might cloud my judgment, but the Doctor agrees with me.”
It might take someone as perceptive as the Captain to see the need in her eyes. Kes was trying so hard to come from an adult and responsible place while at the same time, the creature she was needed to feel planet fall. To experience something new.
To get off the ship, if even for just a few hours.
She wanted to hug her, and felt such a gesture would be reciprocated. However, today she wanted to be seen as more than just the Captain’s rescue. Today, she wanted to be seen more as a member of the crew. Of course, Captain Janeway gave out the very occasional hug or so, but certainly never in the ready room.
Kes’ voice was lower and more husky than one might expect for one of such small stature baby-soft young skin, but then again, she was by no means a child. Beyond youth, even, to that amorphous place of one just stepping into womanhood. She certainly had the physical confidence of such, even if her heart was pounding a little in excitement, and her color was high with hope. Her smile fought between serious and bright.
“Everything is fine, Captain. My time in Medical is quite satisfying, and there is so much to study. In fact, it was my studies that brought me here today. I’ve been analyzing the telemetrics of TCT-32. I believe that the telltales in the spectrum are possible reflections of certain keytones that are necessary for 12.3 percent of the crew regarding their dietary needs. The Doctor has been synthesizing a supplement into the soil, yet the incidence of depression and illness in this population has accelerated since that time.” Kes took a hopeful breath, and held out the second Data PADD out to Captain Janeway, one that she had linked to her own and the data.
She watched the Captain carefully.
“I know the planet is unstable, but I believe even a brief harvest will lead to enough genetic material to clone further generations. I’d like to go down with the away team to gather some plants.”
“Good work,” Kathryn said, nodding as she read from the Data PADD that Kes had handed her. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I’m sure that this will have a huge benefit for Voyager’s crew.” Reaching behind her, not taking her eyes from Kes, she placed the PADD down.
“As for your being a part of the away team. I’m sorry, but request denied.” She grimaced before placing a gentle hand on the other’s shoulder, hoping to be of some comfort. It wasn’t easy to say no - not when Kes seemed so eager to explore and to learn. She understood her need to leave the confines of Voyager. She herself had always felt the need to discover new things, but she had to remember that she had at least always had some kind of freedom. It broke her heart a little to have to deny the need to satiate curiosity which she herself knew so well.
She sighed softly before removing her hand from Kes. “We will be able to make the harvest based on the data you’ve provided. Which I thank you for.” “I promise that one day you will join an away team. But, Kes, I have a responsibility to keep my crew safe. I can’t promise you’d be safe out there. Granted, I can’t guarantee safety for anyone, but you have no formal Star Fleet training. It would be irresponsible. I hope that you’re able to understand.” She paused before deciding to give Kes a chance to speak her mind. “You have permission to speak freely, by the way.”
That hand upon her did keep her steady as the Captain made her choice. It was painful for Kes on so many levels. The only way she showed it, however, was the soft opening of her mouth, and perhaps the smallest sway kept immeasurable by the Captain’s support of her. Neither could her delicate pale eyebrows hide the complexity of her thoughts.
She could tell that the Captain didn’t like giving her a negative on her request, but that she was going to do it anyway. Kes as well was pushing down her feelings. One did not argue with the Captain. That, she had learned.
There was a thrill in her a moment later when Captain Janeway offered that she could speak. It wasn’t over! As the woman drew her hand away, Kes thought of her independence. Her importance as a living being that the Voyager crew had reminded her of. After being freed from the Kazon, it had taken her time to remember the inner rebellion of her nature that had caused her to leave the safety of the Ocompa Enclave in the first place. She stood up every bit of her 160 centimeter height, and took a deep breath so her voice would be strong.
“Thank you, Captain.” Her voice was strong and smooth, with an almost viola quality. She put her arms behind her back, grabbing one wrist with the other as she’d sometimes seen members of the crew making a report. It made her even just that little bit taller, and squared her narrow shoulders.
“I have spent some time trying to simplify the program so that someone else can use it. These elements, this particular balance of elements are difficult to detect. Its why the stores ran out.” Kes’ periwinkle eyes stayed steady. “It’s taken me two days to create a new program, and that rate includes my unique learning cycle. The Doctor agrees with my additional findings that there is no one else who could learn the subtleties before the Away Team leaves tomorrow.”
There was something on her face then. Something she could not hide. Something that showed her young age in a single moment.
Want. Want clear in a small quaver in her breath, a soft move of her lower lip and her eyebrows nearly question marks as she looked to the Captain with hope.
Expedition
She changed out of the lavender clothes she’d worn that morning. Kes had been studying human culture. It seemed wise considering she was surrounded by them now. There were many cultures she would need to study, but she was starting with human. That study lead her to put on the red and brown instead. Stronger colors by human standard, and she intended to show she was stronger, wiser than when she’d first come on board.
Kes collected both Data PADDs and made her way for the Captain’s ready room. It helped calm her nerves that people smiled at her along the way. She felt like she was really becoming a part of this place. When she reached the bridge, a few people looked up, but no one questioned her as she went to the Ready Room and waved her hand over the sensor.
( @janewayiisms )
Kathryn sighed and took a sip of her coffee when she was alerted to the fact that she had a visitor. No one ever seemed to come to her ready room with good news and receiving bad news was not on the day’s agenda. Her time was taken up with planning an away misson. Still, she was the captain of the ship. It was her duty to listen to her crew. Her needs came second. “Enter,” she said wearily as she leaned her elbow against her desk and rested her forehead on the tips of her fingers.
As the door opened and she saw Kes waiting outside her ready room, she smiled and stood up, walking out from behind her desk. “Kes,” she said brightly, a change from her previous weariness. She always found Kes to be pleasant company - and not a crew member she associate with bad news. “Is everything okay?”
She wanted to hug her, and felt such a gesture would be reciprocated. However, today she wanted to be seen as more than just the Captain’s rescue. Today, she wanted to be seen more as a member of the crew. Of course, Captain Janeway gave out the very occasional hug or so, but certainly never in the ready room.
Kes’ voice was lower and more husky than one might expect for one of such small stature baby-soft young skin, but then again, she was by no means a child. Beyond youth, even, to that amorphous place of one just stepping into womanhood. She certainly had the physical confidence of such, even if her heart was pounding a little in excitement, and her color was high with hope. Her smile fought between serious and bright.
“Everything is fine, Captain. My time in Medical is quite satisfying, and there is so much to study. In fact, it was my studies that brought me here today. I’ve been analyzing the telemetrics of TCT-32. I believe that the telltales in the spectrum are possible reflections of certain keytones that are necessary for 12.3 percent of the crew regarding their dietary needs. The Doctor has been synthesizing a supplement into the soil, yet the incidence of depression and illness in this population has accelerated since that time.” Kes took a hopeful breath, and held out the second Data PADD out to Captain Janeway, one that she had linked to her own and the data.
She watched the Captain carefully.
“I know the planet is unstable, but I believe even a brief harvest will lead to enough genetic material to clone further generations. I’d like to go down with the away team to gather some plants.”
Expedition
She changed out of the lavender clothes she’d worn that morning. Kes had been studying human culture. It seemed wise considering she was surrounded by them now. There were many cultures she would need to study, but she was starting with human. That study lead her to put on the red and brown instead. Stronger colors by human standard, and she intended to show she was stronger, wiser than when she’d first come on board.
Kes collected both Data PADDs and made her way for the Captain’s ready room. It helped calm her nerves that people smiled at her along the way. She felt like she was really becoming a part of this place. When she reached the bridge, a few people looked up, but no one questioned her as she went to the Ready Room and waved her hand over the sensor.
( @janewayiisms )
Doodling me went to Gabrielle.
Oh, hello Gabrielle!
(I love how she looks in the Indian episodes btw)
Cover for Voyager The Official Magazine issue 13, 1997.
Do you think that Kes is a little disturbed by the fact that the Doctor basically keeps the shrivelled corpse of her God in a little jar in a cabinet in sickbay?
Kes and Neelix never had sex please and thank you
you: Uhura dates Spock
me, an intellectual: Uhura is Spock