agnes

ngl i get why nezha was so suicidal and depressed. i would also wanna kms if i fumbled a bad bitch like rin

in another life where they are not trying to kill each other

messed around with some colour grading

im about to fucking pass out look at them look at how BEAUTIFUL they are

Whenever people try to tell me to ship "moral ships" I like to think about how inherently immoral it is to flirt with service workers at coffee shops where they're obliged to be nice to you so... many coffee shop AUs are like. Immoral. But given that they are a fantasy where this is instant romance without the fear of trapping a service worker in an uncomfortable situation that's tantamount to workplace sexual harassment, I enjoy the cutesy coffee shop AUs immensely.

And that's basically my attitude towards all fantasy. There's lots of things I enjoy in fantasy that wouldn't work IRL. Enemies to lovers. Sudden kisses. Miscommunications in relationships. Codependency. Fight sluts who physically assault each other while emotionally connecting.

Once you start ascribing your morals to the fiction you consume, you tend to miss the issues in even the most innocuous, innocent seeming scenarios. It's easy to judge other people's fictional enjoyment until someone points out your innocent coffee shop AU is romanticised workplace harassment.

But it's all fiction. It's a fantasy. That's why it's fine.

A lack of education around things like consent, healthy relationships, self respect and respect of others, bodily autonomy, etc, has made people think they can rely only on fiction to tell them what right - but that's dangerous. And unsustainable.

GET YOUR FUCKING DOG, BITCH. SHE BITES

tumblr is so funny it’s just scrapbooking for your hyperfixations. like yeah here’s a gifset that’s here for no reason other than the fact that I think it’s Pretty. here’s hugh dancy for the same reason. here’s me rambling about the thing that’s been itching my brain for months. here’s me giggling in the corner. here’s unadulterated mental illness

A moment of peace and quiet before everything went looney tunes

I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are you working, or” and I either have to

So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either. You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering from an illness.”

I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked. He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved on.

MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.

Dude I needed this. I never know what to say when people ask if I work because I’m severely disabled and don’t work.

REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE HOLY SHIT

To add, this works on job interviews too.  I once had to answer the ‘so whats up with this gap of 8 months in your resume where you were unemployed?” and I just said I had suffered an illness and I needed time to recover.

It’s easy enough, not a lie, and puts them on edge enough that they usually don’t go digging.

I said remember this moment...in the back of my mind ♡

I keep coming back to what @likeadevils said about how Taylor kept coming back to her fear of getting older in writing Red but kept cutting it from the album.

The Taylor who wrote Red was coming off back to back relationships with older men where her age was a reason they pursued her AND a reason they ended things. She was also trying to continue a career where her accolades were made to seem more significant because they often came attached to a “youngest ever” label.

This era saw Taylor publicly embrace a more mature persona - abandoning the fairytales and whimsy that were once staples of her brand. And yet privately she wrote about how terrifying getting older was. She was desperate to grow up and stay young at the same time because of the way the men in her life, and the industry feel about age.

Imagine the mindfuck of knowing your naivety and youth are hot commodities to older men but your perceived childishness is the reason they’ll abandon you. Growing up would be a way to simultaneously protect yourself from and prove yourself to these men.

Imagine seeing how hard the women in the industry work to cling to the appearance of youth. How women she grew up admiring fell off the charts as soon as either their 20s or their beauty left them. Conversely starting her career as a teenager and writing about high school and first loves was where her detractors drew from for critique. She wasn’t a real musician to them, she was a child star.

Ultimately the desire to grow up, to be perceived as a woman and a serious music heavyweight won out. Red was her transition out of girlhood made clear and at the time it seemed like she bridged this gap effortlessly, but in the vault and on the cutting room floor she left behind traces of the battle it took to get there and the fear of what she was leaving behind.

imagine playing knife!tug-of-war with your mentally unstable ex almost-girlfriend while you beg her to make a rational decision for the first time in her life and her final “fuck you” is driving the knife into her own chest while your hands are still on the knife so it’s half-suicide half-murder and apparently she had some magic death pact with your mutual best friend so he also drops dead and you were are already the most mentally ill man to ever exist before this shitshow happened but the monster-god possessing your body will not let you taste the sweet relief of death and also you have an important political meeting in like 10 minutes

Night in Arlong😭

remember when they were drunk and happy for like 5 minutes??? yeahhh

DRY HEAVING SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FUCKING HELL

ok here comes the first of my hopefully more coherent the burning god posts (spoilers in case you haven’t muted the tags!! last warning!!!)

the last chapter of tbg does. a lot. obviously. and i have so many thoughts about a lot of it. but one of the most interesting things about it to me is how quickly it deconstructs the idea of kitay that we want to see, all contained in “I didn’t think I could, either. I thought I couldn’t deny you anything. But I can, I always could, I’d just never really tried.” there’s so much contained in this about his relationship with rin, and it’s all messy and heartbreaking, but I want to talk about what it does for kitay himself.

More Poppy War content because I cannot sleep.

Chen Kitay is the most dangerous person in all of the books. He's more dangerous than the Trifecta, Nezha, Rin, Vaisra.

Because Kitay is fucking SMART.

Kitay holds the power over the greatest weapon Nikan has had since the Trifecta. Kitay can control the Last Speerly, can subject Rin to not having fire. And, if that doesn't work, suicide.

Kitay knows Yin Nezha personally.

Kitay is a terribly competent soldier, able to fight of Nezha, who is regularly described as almost superhumanly adept in combat, for minutes before surrendering.

Even worse, he's the smartest of them all, both strategically and absolutely. He has an eidectic memory which makes him remember everything he reads in the first try, seems to be able to understand new Hesperian technology in days, he's able to design a machine that makes Rin capable of flight.

Kitay sits in the war room of the Dragon Lord, the richest and most powerful man in the empire, and is listened to because he makes so much damn sense. He could see the Dragon Lord's water campaign failure coming from miles away, understands how the campaign in the South should run. He immediately understands why Vaisra would betray them, giving clear and sound reasons. He's tactically astute.

And he's ruthless, when he wants to be. He breaks Rin's hands when they need to escape, he is able to design traps that kill dozens of soldiers when Sinegard is under attack. After that he manages to fight and survive the onslaught that is the siege on Sinegard. It happens to be that Rin is our narrator and that he is his blindspot, that she wants to describe him as a good man, as a hero. He's the most moral man in the series, but don't let it fool you. He's willing to kill. It is just that he seems to the only one who has a moral compass that still somewhat works.

He's mentally unbreakable, too. He survived Golan Niis with nothing but wit and cunning, he withstood interrogation for weeks at least. He manages to let the Phoenix run through his mind without the side effects on his reasoning that Rin seems to be suffering from. I'd argue that he's mentally about as strong as she is, but he is just not willing to fight her.

And we haven't even spoken about his wealth. Kitay is the son of the defense minister, one of the richest inhabitants of Sinegard, canonically lives in a mansion with servants. We should believe that his influence extends to far beyond the city's walls.

Kitay will outhink you, outmanouver you, remember your every move and then use them against you, and then stand back as Rin burns you to death after he figured out a way around you. He might not have a god, but he doesn't really need one, either.

The Pantheon knows he'd be way too powerful then.

yep.